I was on a freezing
Train platform when
A cursing man approached
Me
His smile already queued up
"Hey man,
I tried to ride the
Train with an old
Ticket"
He turned the ticket
Over and over
In his hand
To accentuate this
Point and continued
"And i have 9 bucks
Could you spot me
For the rest?"

"I have no cash"
I lied
As most do
When confronted for
Money by a stranger

"You don't need cash
You can use cards on
The machines"
He said pointing
Towards the bank
Of awkwardly standing
Ticket kiosks
Our only companions
In the chilly night air

"Nah man, i'm good"
I said

His expression changed
Not to anger but
Disappointment
"Well, thanks anyway"

He walked off cursing
A broken trail of white
Breath twisting dizzyingly
Away from his head

Standing there I felt bad
That I hadn't helped him
He only needed 7 more dollars
And I had six crisp twenties
Folded neatly in my wallet
And two credit cards
Nowhere near maxed out

For some reason
I started to interpret myself
As part of the problem of mass
Apathy amongst men
In turn feeling slimy
Unnatural  

I made a point to lap the
Station multiple times
To find this man and give
Him more than he needed
Not to help him
But to prove to
Myself that I wasn't
A phlegmatic  
******

I caught him inside
With another young man
About my age
With a softer face
Giving him a sandwich
And a few crumpled bills

They traded a few words
And laughed
I returned to my
Perch on the platform
Alone in the
Freezing night air

Later the man came out
Smoking a black and mild
And waited next to me for the
Train

When we got in he only sat
A few seats from me
I saw him take the
Ticket he told me was old
And hand it to the
Attendant
Who punched it and moved
On

Later we made
Accidental eye
Contact down the
Aisle
He queued the same
Smile and turned away
From me

December is a cold month.
So cold.
So incomplete.

A time when nature dies,
Along with parts of me.

December is a month of dreary days.
Lit up with lights to mask the pain.

Holiday spirit.
Just an excuse to drink.

Food, family, friends.
It's all just more fuel to think.

I grew up to understand the Grinch.
Whose heart became so small.

And although these lights do warm me,
I want to crush them all.

December is a month of lies and of deceit.
It's not at all about spirit, rather a receipt.

I'd prefer sit alone.
A fireplace and a book.

Than sit along beside others, to have my heart led astray by some crook.

One day...
A light from heaven
Will shine brighter than the sun
And the suffering saints called by His name
Will rejoice at going home

One day...
A world that's deaf and blind
Will stand in awe and stare
As they are left hopeless behind
With not a one that cares

One day...
Those very saints
With the faith of a child
Will stand at heavens gates
Face to face with their God

One day...
Those lost within themselves
Too late to realize
That all they have has all been built
On the fact of Satan's lies

One day...
All life will be
At peace and harmony
With no more tears and no more pain
As all of heaven praises their Righteous King

One day...
All this will come of age
Everything here will be seen
I just hope and pray that on that day
That we are all ready