and what brought us here?
what drew us near?
are we tired of livin in fear
that things will never be clear
tryin to find the home you once had
looking back on it all,
nothing made you that glad
then that warmth of their tone
then that soul you call home
try to find your way back
through miles of broken bones
and broken roads

they want us all to be so distracted and focused on these personal plights of ours.
romantic, religious, financial, fame, that we miss out on the true point of life.
which is to just be.
to take this life, live it, and love it.
simply & sweetly, savoring every moment for what it is.
we're so busy looking for answers, or seeking validation for our existence, and for what?
i dont really think there is a specific reason we came to be.
i think we just happened, the most beautiful of accidents and surprises that's ever come to be in the universe.
why waste time figuring it out,  just enjoy yourself for **** sake, while we're still here!
we need to all be babies again.
fresh/open minded, not trying to be anyone , living day by day, moment to moment, wide eyed and in awe of it all.. enjoying.. learning.. no plans.. not plights.. just basic needs, food, sleep, & love, exploring the world, taking it all in with no ego and no judgments.
would be lovely wouldn't it.

everything you do, is perfect just like you.
i wanna make you swoon.
and fly you to the moon.
and dance you in it's light,
we can make out the whole night.
and it can try with all it's might,
but it will never be as bright,
as you my dear, in all your grace.
you'd shame the sun right in it's place.

sometimes it's hard to express your pain when almost everyone in your life expects you to always be positive & upbeat.
you don't want to let anyone down, you wanna be there for them,
& provide all with love and good vibes,
but in doing so you let down yourself & neglect your own feelings.
if you couldn't tell i haven't been doing so well lately..
in sacrificing my happiness for others I have trapped & tied down my spirit.
& by refusing to deal with my own emotions I am slowly building a fate fit for a time bomb.
instead of letting it all out & facing my pain.
I've been tryin to counter/reverse things by taking in as much as I can.
I've been over doing everything,
over eating, spending, sleeping smoking.
constant consumption,
trying to hide & distract myself from my pain.
trying to make myself feel better without having to actually deal with my feelings.
I need the strength to overcome my obstacles but I can't seem to find it right now : (
& why am I sharing this?
because I'm hurting,
because I'm human,
& because its nice just to be heard.
despite what you may think I still have my bad times, my failures, my sadness.
I still feel the same, we all feel the same.
if it hurts you, it hurts me too.
the reason I've been avoiding my feelings is because I know how much it's gonna hurt when I finally do face them & I'm honestly not ready..
I'm not use to carrying so much pain & sadness.
I now realize though that by living the way I have been I am just adding to the chaos & confusion that is currently my life.
I feel disconnected from myself and the earth because I've been ignoring both.
and I find myself doing things and thinking things I normally wouldn't.
things that I know aren't helping me any.
by playing this full time act i am leaving myself broke, tired, unhealthy & unfocused which does not help me in overcoming my deeper issues.
I just need to breathe, i need to be brave, & i need to start listening to myself.
I've always tried to live from my heart but lately I've spent no time there at all.
I've been hiding out in my mind trying to ignore the state of my heart,
but now even my mind has turned into a chaotic mess & there's no where left to hide.

Dead Love

please let this pass.
please make this fast.
i don't know how long i can last.
i'm done with blame.
i'm done with pain.
of feeling lame.
it's all a same.
they're all the same.
playin these games.
they'll never change.
so please refrain.
oh what a shame.
i've gone insane.
to **** the pain.
of friendship slain.
of love now tamed.
never again to be obtained.

he wrapped himself around her hips,
he spoke into her waiting lips,
i don't know how you came to exist,
to be such a gem in a world like this.

i hope that you find the inspiration to truly live & love without restraint (if you haven't already).
i hope that you find what lights up your soul & i hope that you share that light with everyone that you meet, to then inspire them to look within too.
i hope that you re-connect with nature in all it's glory, with yourself in all your radiance, and with others in all their beauty.
every day the earth & all it's inhabitants become more & more beautiful & meaningful to me.
i hope that you love yourself, as much as i love you.
i hope you can see the infinite potential & beauty that you harbor.
i see your imperfections.. and that's what makes you perfect to me.
& just remember that you can never truly love other people or the earth until you have learned to love yourself.
people will treat you however you allow them to, and we accept the love we think we deserve.
true, meaningful, happiness & stimulation comes from enjoying what's natural & alive, & not whats manufactured and material.
i only wish the best for you , in everything you choose to do, i'm rooting for you.