im scared cause im walking where ive never been before everything is panicking on the inside but im not heading for the door the stride is brisk and we're both gasping for air
it's not a race we're in it together now were sprinting like the hair maybe it's for the better you have legs for days or so you say im keeing up but just bare lay
the pace settles as i get runners high finally hitting my stride wondering where have you been all my life walking together we'll never collide
born and raised in farmland indiana lived there back when i believed in santa later i moved to ohio where i spent my teens going ****** finally dad moved us to big texas where i would come to meet all my exes after college ill move some place far away from this disgrace never had a problem with who i was but i guess in texas they have different laws
they say you cant say youre from indiana you dont represent farmer americana you cant say youre from ohio thatd be like accepting a typo well you definitely arent one of us cause you dont like to talk on the bus or in the grocery store you think southern hospitality fun to ignore? its hard to understand who i am so i go back home to my fam they talk to me they tell me that every where has welcomed me dont be discouraged, your one of us even if you dont talk on the bus
so my texas friends and i keep traveling searching for my answer, try unraveling land in china and the people are so fine they compliment my face and praise divine they ask where im from in america and blank goes my rentina standing before my texas friends my mind weighs the odds and ends the logistics of where i belong is this where i make my stand, sing my song or alas just keep quiet and move along say some answer and move on
no i thought i need this a fight to be free of this to understand my identity i have to sacrifice a deep part of me not going to compromise no need to lie and disguise the problems with my identity deep inside
im from indiana i say immediately im meet with distaste now suddenly in a different country, they want me? saying ive been in texas for a while thats you now baby but i dont understand thats not where i stand or on brand i just dont understand im not just some texas ranch hand
i dont belong anywhere i am my own ill clear the air i just belong to me was that so hard to believe? i go home and they say im not from home i go aboard like thatll be my new home
lately i feel like my life is going by crazy fast feels like im strapped to a semi heading to a crash gaining speed rapidly driving towards the wall this is where my life shatters and apart it falls
armando said well talk about this later so i hid 3 days straight thought i didnt need a mediator so i didnt dictate
the problems i was hiding staying scared in my hole i always had a hard time inviting was never good at crowd control
i dont have anything to write about so instead ill dream something where i shout get the anger needed to record doing drugs like jordan belfort
drops my worries and cares makes me feel like im getting somewhere music is complicated and hard just wanted to make some audio art
mixing little bit of art and math dont forget to add in emotions to the bath relaxed and sitting in now music doesnt make me doubt
swimming through the bath wanting to make art last put the work aside from me let it be judged freely
art gets what it wants cant believe how bad i was once lot of room to grow cant wait to see my future shows
got a lot of work to do a head of me first of all i got to finish this degree then the grind for creative satisfaction gotta say goodbye to the distractions
got to many vices currently cant tell if they are destroying me everyone i know who smokes is reduced down to half the bloke
stronger without it weak with a week with, and im not ****** i want to die in china of old age rather than shot in this gun cage
its really hard to compare the two two completely different people groups doing the same thing as the other but one gets entitled, hot, and bothered
theyll **** each other at the end of the story and its the end of the story and i dont know if i was talking about america or china in their nuclear fallout
jordan, drugs, and, i or my struggle with the artists eye making music like a bath the combination of art and math
sleeping in til nine put contacts in the wrong eye outside getting rained in listeing to micheal cera palin
different cold the wet and dark the body and soul drift apart coworker said "running late" no need to worry, there is no hate
o how happy i am again o so happy my friends im doing just fine on my daily grind
feeling out my insides there's been a lot to realize just trying to figure this soul out acting like a **** fool, no doubt
always check the left never been right i guess born not normal in the right place been left to find out, im a disgrace
all because my hands are southpaw it's become my greatest flaw not something i can change not something i want to change
first four, setting, first point of conflict. second four, the body and mind separate. (rest follows the pattern set in second four.) third four, body is talking about delights in my current physical grind, for which i draw a lot of pleasure. fourth four, mind is talking learning about myself, and recalling previous embarrassments (growth). fifth four, body is talking about how i get confused and check for the L made on my left hand, pattern goes LRRL, sometimes i feel like the earth is made to easy for right handed people, and i therefore do not belong. sixth four, mind is talking, (realization and resolution. please reread once or twice and give me some feedback!
Back at it again Playing games in my own head My own worst enemy I can't just leave me be But the drugs ran out And the dreams are back
The dreams are back again And i can not get my life back The only escape from life Without death is sleep And you've taken that away from me I subscribe to the notion of taking care of me Just not in this reality
New classes with new projects got me thinking about jobs and future prospects I never dreamt I'd get this far feels just like getting out to push a car at first it's a slow start pushing hard with all my heart now that we are rolling I feel in control and that's been the scariest part for me to take charge of my art can't let meaning slip away like a lost cat gone a stray can't let meaning slip away burn die or fade the meaning must stay the same
I joined my fathers fraternity So I could gain some masculinity Wanted to get more things in common Instead of it being just men
Dead end is the sign above my head Spending days high in bed Dead end is my career Success is my greatest fear Dad end Dead end
I picked up guitar So dad and I wouldn't be as far Is it obvious I want to impress him He taught me everything and then some
Dead end is the sign above my head Spending days high in bed Dead end is my career Success is my greatest fear Dad end Dead end
I'm sick of being watched And I'm sick of getting sloshed Every single day they just wanna drink and play It takes my pain away, but **** dad is this the way
I joined my fathers fraternity So i could gain some masculinity Wanted to get more things in common Instead of just being men
Dead end is the sign above my head Spending days high in bed Dead end is my career Success is my greatest fear Dead end Dead end
I picked up guitar So dad and i wouldn't be as far Is it obvious i want to impress him He taught me everything and then some
Dead end is the sign above my head Spending days high in bed Dead end is my career Success is my greatest fear Dead end Dead end
I'm sick of being watched And I'm sick of getting sloshed Every single day they just wanna drink and play It takes my pain away, but **** dad is this the way
Sad and stubborn is a bad combination I need some pain and medication I feel to much, I'm too sensitive My parents could they ever forgive **** all my friends real, paid, or digital Sometimes I feel too visible But most of the time I'm miserable Two things I'll always be unoriginal and unforgivable My stupid hair is my only quality Ill shave it all off just for the equality My mind is cluttered I always end up **** hurt Shifting blame to myself I need to learn to ask for help But being sad and stubborn Will surely make me suffer
I need a full body cast to amend my past Keeps me from taking my own life Suicide felt like the only way to make it right It's been 2 years I still feel gone 23 should have never seen past 21 It's just a game, something I didn't want to play Following through would have made everything okay It wouldn't really have, I shouldn't have lied It would leave behind a huge mess And I would be dead still feeling regret I need a full body cast to amend my past
It’s been a month now and my personality is busting at the seems I’m falling apart and this is where I start to lose you I think It’s so rob so very classic rob Why can’t he stop He can’t hold it together I don’t think he’s getting better She’s got super human eyes She can see right through my guise We have been hanging out having a fun time But I don’t think she wants to be mine And it happens every time I’ll freak out and lose my mind Have to say everything’s fine Even though I’m dying on the inside Hope my homies ain’t catch me crying Cause I’d be lying if I told them everything was just alright
I miss you Brandon my first death that really hit me It'll be five years in October since you left me Alone in a world were you had a plan had it all figured out I didn't know what I wanted to do, yet god took me away from you You had the future in your hand I remember you sitting with our teaching devising a plan Working and doing school 4 years til grad What college and what course now just a buried corpse Didn't shed a tear at your burial, but every year after you memorial I cry thinking of what could be You were doing good in college unlike me Barely struggling to find a degree I remember late September you took a break to come visit me Smoking **** and watching TV you said you believed in me I was failing a college, the one where you wanted to be Working your *** off while I fail my random degree Serving tables to make the loans appease, never needed either not for me Incredibly blessed by my parents and your presence All your effort and yet god took you away from me Didn't know I had all this de-welled up in me, fiver years later i can write it to be free Brandon R**n you were a treat I'm so glad we could meet become good friends until that semi took a piece of me Finally meet your girlfriend can't believe we lost her The two of you were meant to be I’m sure Good men die too early So I guess you were no different really But surely you had more to give us here on earth Losing you has been the worse
You called me at 2 a.m. to ask if I was in bed you knew the answer but you went ahead and asked about my day and if I missed your face I was stirred awake by your call not answering what i felt like breaking the law baby girl I'm sorry I hurt you I didn't mean to do your wrong it's just i haven't been seeing you too long and I'm starting to lose focus just spending the night together just us we slip into conversation and I don't need to worry about the dedication needed to pay attention wish you were in my city girl come get your affection it needs collecting
Got notification, them ***** go straight to my phone Didn't mean to bother you thought you wanted to be alone I meant it when I said I wanted you in my life But in between I met someone who’s been so nice She's the better me and that's something I strive to be Like calm down it's not about you now With this new girl, and she don't make me doubt ******* and your twitter cry-outs and clout I wasn't playing when I was saying I think this new one is worth saving
I measure each year as it goes by how much I can tell my grandmother did I learn a lot did I change did I fall she'll want to hear it all this year's no different been a good one with a lot to tell but my grandmother slipped and fell now I got no one to share the stories of me and my love affairs this year was a lot learned a language change locations picked up a girl I swear grandma this year's been a whirl changed so much only getting better coming home to tell you is the only thing that matters I'll never truly change I'll always be your grandson
I don’t know how to say But I gotta be honest about the other day Last night I had a hook up, and I know I’ve been seeing you for a month now So it’s probably about time you leave It’s not a lie, it’s not you it’s me Look I like you, but I got needs And they hadn’t been getting met recently
Honestly, didn’t mean to be a mickey Throw it all away cause I’m sickening Disgust myself I need a new awakening Cause I’m fake, and lie all the time It’s the same thing every single night I **** it all up every single time Why?