Pit knocked hard
On the long way down

Tumbling aimlessly
Jaunting amongst thin air

Flesh ripped and torn from bone
Silence leftover in a screaming moan

Every step taken towards your dreams today
is a step taken away from regrets tomorrow.

Ever wonder my dear, why my tears fall down ?
it is because your words created gravity,
a field that pulls me down,
now I am forever bound by its laws,
in this creation I will wait,
the curtains draped like a shroud,
would that the faint glow of a sunlit morn be my release,
raising the corners of my mouth into a smile,
not this day, or the next, for everything is pulled down,
endlessly down by the gravity of your words.

If only you knew the damage caused
a few small words said and forgotten
days and hours of painful analysing
awake late at night, cold sweat haze
reliving, re-enacting, in my mind
caught in a time trap, held on repeat
left on my own, locked in this hurt
I hear my voice repeat as I cry
eternally asking the question, why?

am I truly that evil?
comparable to relentless bullies,
the ones that you embody.

am I that awful?
like looking in mirror
seeing a body you despise.

am I that annoying?
like the voice of depression
that sounds a lot like you.

There’s a devil in me trying to raise his face
there’s a god in me trying to put him in his place
a fight to fill the hole in my heart
but the battle is lost before they can start
soul electric, here to stay
pulls me apart need to make them pay
a million volts in a lightning kiss
re-align my core in symmetrical bliss.