Your blank canvas birth
was long enough ago for you to laugh at.

Now look at you,
skin rich with life,

formed and developed,
a moving, articulate photograph

of crystalline lightning
coursing over you like water

blank canvas death
is now impossible.

I tried to **** myself again
you said into the subway window

clickety-clack* said the train
in December said your reflection

I know I said but I didn't really
I didn't really know anything

you should probably stop
trying that I mean I stammered

I know

I had nothing else to say
you had nothing else to do

we sat in broken silence
until the train found my stop

clickety-clack
it whispered to me.

I feel ***** when I go out in public.
Like a mangy dog everyone tries to avoid.
I don't want to cause problems, but people treat me so.
I stay to myself, someone walks up and asks what's my deal.
"I have none." I say.
They walk away, hate brooding in their eyes.
What gods have I angered to deserve such a fate.
My head hangs low as I look for scraps, to be left alone, that would be a blessing.
On a side note, writing seems to be losing its magic. Things I could not bear seem to be piling on. My escape is gone, and I fear I'm being backed into a corner, and eventually I'm going to have to fight back, only to reinforce people's image of me.

He continues  
She does not breathe
He pretends to be something
She is empty, covered in bright pink
He is weak but has fake sewn in between
Her emotions sit on her sleeve
She is vulnerable to everything
He pretends not to see
Both lying inside
Isn't this the way life is suppose to be

Our love...  
you say we once loved each other
and this is true
and you say maybe there is no fixing us
and before you say anything else
let me remind you of this
our love is buried in a casket
you built with the hands of your betrayal
and the white lies painted on your teeth
that you use to spit out half hearted apologies
that only mean you need something temporary
a place to play pretend while you search
yet again for someone better
but you’re having trouble
finding someone to blindside
as your past keeps crashing
into your present
and that makes it harder to be manipulative
as your lies are bleeding through your massacre
and the color of your eyes
are heavily saturated with desperation
and don’t mistake this for hatred
and I wish you no ill will or harm
but there is no us
as you walked away from that
of your own free will and choice
time and time again
after I forgave you time and time again
only to find the same dagger
leaving new scars in the heart
that was still at that time
beating for you
and it took time
months and months
and years and years and years
before I realized the only thing
you could give me was false hope
that turned quickly back to misery
and that enough was enough
so I placed my still heart and our love
in the casket you painstakingly built
and let you bury it
and you buried it so deep into the ground
that it fell through the earth
and is now a satellite circling the earth
high above china
and much like you it shines in the night sky
as pretty as a star
but completely artificial

His body fell to the ground and his pulse slowed to a stop and the colors of life in his eyes drained to grey and the last bit of air exited his lungs and he laid there motionless and silent and his chest opened as if his ribs had been cabinet doors and his heart floated up into the sky and into the night and through space and back and forth through time and it was alone in the vast emptiness of it all and with all its scars and stitches and broken and missing pieces it hummed and it beat and it remembered...

it remembered the name in every stitch and every smile that had stolen and kept a piece of it and every heartache in the story of every scar and every love that had ever made it laugh and sing and dance and fly and it remembered all the joy and misery and failure and wonder and everything that had made its life worth living and somewhere inside it smiled

Avoiding magic,
Elf, and bowl...
Nothing’s tragic
If made whole

Avoidance carries
Heavy loads
The miracle tarries,
Mind implodes

But winged creatures
Want dire things
Say earnest preachers
Who pull off wings

Perhaps the church
Should be avoided
And left in a lurch
As Christ destroyed it

When he read
From the scroll
Turns of head
All eyes did roll

The spirit is upon me
I’ve been anointed
To set captives free
I’ve been appointed

And as he put the scroll away
He uttered aloud, almost in song:
“These words are fulfilled in me today”,
Infuriating the offended throng

Leaving chins
Upon the floor
Churchy grins
Appear no more

They move as one
To chase him off;
To Him, what fun,
The shout and scoff

He looked not proud
On the brow of the hill
Passed through crowd
All felt a chill

For this, perhaps
Is how He loved
The cards collapsed
And all were moved