I keep waiting
Patiently waiting
For him
To be aching
And feigning for me
Waiting for when he decides
He cannot get enough of me

I’ll turn to dust
Before my dreams turn to
Stone

The only time
Any man saw me
Was with
Eyes closed
Hands open

And do you think
When you move
You’ll think of me
Staring over breathless
Horizons
Will you wish
You could share it
With me
And when your drunk
And you are lonely,
And you find
Some girl in your bed,
Will I be in your head?
Will you think of how
I fit into you
And how you fit into me?

You say
You’re so much sometimes

And I say to that
Well sometimes,
You are not enough

I feel selfish
For saying
I deserve more
I deserve better

I was someone who was so good to you
And you
You are just another boy
Who cheated
And
Lied

We are
Just flesh and bone
But you
You are the sun on my skin

So I think
I think about you
The sun rises
The sun sets
Before you go
I just want you to know
I’ll always think about you

I like you
Ok
Is that what you
Wanted to hear

Yes
Yes
Yes

Tell me you love me
And then leave me
Don’t pretend
You’ll stick around
Cut right to the chase
Go away

I definitely
Want
To
**** her

That’s what he said
We lie in bed together

And I pretend like it’s ok
Ok that you
Only
Want to
Be inside
Of her

Just another day
Kick back
Wait six more months
And
We will be cool again

That’s usually this goes

I crave the security
In the foundation never placed
Here’s your hard hat kid
And your concrete
Do it all yourself
Lay it all yourself

I crave security

This one is different
I promise
He said he thinks about
Me
Long term

This one is different
I swear
You’d be surprised
The romantic way
He treats me
Like a human being

This one is different
I know I’ve said that before
But please
This time
You’ll listen right
Because
This one is different

I waited my whole life
Slamming myself
Into brick walls of passion
Instant heat
Burning me up

And then I met you
I lit a candle in my finger tips
I melt
I drip
For you
I slowly burn
For you

And it’s 100x sweeter
Than the boy who
Made me feel something once
Because you make me feel something
Every day

Sometimes
I sit here in the silent moments
And I live in the mornings
I could have shared with you
Coffee and jazz

But that wasn’t for us
Was it

I
Have
A hundred pictures of the sun
And the paint it spreads
Across the sky

And you
You don’t even look up
You don’t even notice

Memories moving
Like movies
Flipping fervently
Trying to
Find you

You are strong
And yes,
you feel weak right now

But, you are strong
Nothing will wear you down

Connection
Breeds
Creation

Bees
To
Flowers flaunting
pollen

I don’t feel like
I have a seat on any bus
There is no slot
For me to fit into
Where do I go?
What do I do?

And be thankful you are alive
Because
Without you
They would have never met at all
If it hadn’t been for you
He’d still be getting married
And they would just be coworkers

And in either scenario
You realize
With or without you
He’d have gone on
Life would have gone on

I am tired again
I am weary in my bones
Lay me down here
I will wrap my arms
Around myself

Once upon a time
I almost ran away with you
We almost made a home together
We almost met our lives in the middle

We weren’t even salvageable children
But foreboding adults

There you stood at the altar
And it was never decided
Did I rip you away from it?
Or did you step away from it?
“We all made our choices”

But we still ran with it,
and
We almost did it,
We almost got there,
We were Icarus,
And our inextinguishable love,
It was the sun,
We burned up in it

I hate our phone calls now
I hate the spaces in between the small talk
“How is everything” I love you “******”
I hate being here while you are there
I hate how almost isn’t quite enough
For it to be all the way

I love you

What does it mean,
To love yourself

Tired of being used
For parts to fill
Yourself with
Use up until
You feel whole
Taking pieces of me
Taking pieces of me
Empty
Every time you leave me

Woman
Mother
Daughter
Wife

Pictures play
For each word
A box is created
Without hesitation

Jam yourself in it
Make them all smile

And no I won’t settle
Settle for some boy
Promising the moon and stars
Only to show up
Smelling like alcohol
with
Tin foil ***** and cardboard pieces
In hand

I deserve worship
Worship me
Fall down to your knees
I want someone thirsty to
Taste me

I am made up of the
Mountains and oceans
Dark skies and pastel summer days
I won’t settle
For some
Boy

And if you aren’t careful
Love will eat you up

Sometimes
I forget
I forget who I am

What I want
What I like

I haven’t had a hug
In so long
I just want someone
Warm
To embrace me
Fill me up
I’m lonely

Nevermind
I take it all back

I won’t talk to you again
Atleast not until I graduate
That’s what I keep saying
Five months

He checks his emails
I’m happy for you
He’s says
I’m happy for you
I say

Silly when I think
Or feel
Like this isn’t
The inevitable end
But I know in my heart
I’ll never hear you again
“Hey dood”
Waiting for you to call
Checking the mail to see if you wrote
Checking here for messages
Why can’t I give you up

Thinking of you
Always thinking of you
When I close my eyes
I can feel you close yours too
And for a moment
We are together
Missing each other

I’ll always love you
Goodbye
I’ll see you when we’re old
And our kids are grown
Well catch up
And I’ll still love you then

There is a loneliness
That lingers here
Without you

It’s Saturday
And just like yesterday
I’m still thinking of you
Just like two weeks ago
Just like a month ago
Still thinking
Of you

Give me a sign
Let me know
You are listening to me
Please
I won’t say anything

This can’t be this hard
For just me
Right?
Right???

You can take her
Take her to see all the things
We would have seen
The Grand Canyon
Hawaii
Paris
But emptiness will follow you
Everywhere
Because
You know
It should have been
Me

I love you
And
As much as I’d like to
Hate you
All I want is the best
For you
I want you to be happy
I want you to know
I will always always
Love you

Don’t make me wait
Pick up the phone
Call me
I’ll answer
We can talk and talk
I just want to hear you

Living this life
Without you
Everyday wondering
How how how
Do I go on

It’s been over a month
I still ache for you

Roses are red
Violets are blue
*******
I love you
I miss you
I hate you
You hate me too

You’re unhappy without me
I can feel it
So
Why don’t you just
Come home

I still love you
Stupid

She spelled suppose
As
Sappost
I hope you’re happy with that