I used to dream in you,
swim in the sweetness dripping from your lips,
drown in its foaming effervescence.
Your heart was an open ocean in which I could drift,
cradled and fearless.
seeking adventure;
a voyager hungry for new discoveries.
Your open soul was as expansive as universes
holding all the stars and suns and milky ways and moons.. and constellations.

Your words fell as gentle as falling snow
and melted deep into the crevices
and recesses of my mind,
a light that found every corner of darkness
and illuminated it,
stretching it beyond any capacity it had ever known.

I used to dream of you
of your giving spirit,
before it became as barren as the desert floor..
offering only mirages..
teasing like merciless vultures
feeding on the carrion of my desperate heart.

You stole my dreams of you,
a highwayman riding his horse of delusion;
wearing the garb of Lancelot
and the image of Dorian Gray.
You rode in from the sunset
haloed by a crimson dust,
bearing your concealed sword..

.. a sword that pierced the dreams of you,
pierced the golden sun to its core;
its light dimming and fading until it was no more.
and the air was filled with a gray, hot wind;
an inferno bearing through,
and carrying the putrid scent of confusion.

I used to dream.

I can no longer bear
to look into your lying eyes;
there is such  deep sadness
when love dies

I can no longer bear
to be held in your cheating arms;
the beautiful hands that once held mine
have lost all their charm

I can no longer bear
to hold a place in your misleading heart;
my heart once held you in such high graces
but you pierced it with a fickle dart

I gave you all I had
and I suffered all the pain;
You took it all for granted
It was all for your gain

All this time you deceived me,
letting you was my mistake.
And somehow I forgive you,
for my own sake

Now when I say my final goodbye
suddenly you want to apologize;
you want to be my ‘everything’
but I no longer choose to agonize..

..over you.

a writer writes,
to ameliorate the pain
be it holy or profane
be it balanced or insane
with affection or disdain

Every word written wipes away a tear
every line, refuge from fear
a sort of self medication
a self reparation
a hopeful initiation
from a hopeless situation

every couplet,
a bleeding wound healed
every stanza,
a memory sealed

a writer writes,
to begin again
to leave behind the pain
a release from a binding chain
and that familiar refrain
in vain..

and so the writer writes..
Again..
    and Again..

You are the captain of this vessel;
where you steer it, it will go.
You see, I have already fallen in love with you..
from the moment it launched from the slip.
And as all of everyone clearly knows,
the one who loves the least
controls the Relationship.

You control the sails and the winds,
you are the compass needle.
So sail me out to the open sea
with its salty ocean air.
And if you don’t care
to stay with me,
then simply leave me there.

I’ll find my way by beacon star
and drift towards the moon;
I’ll brace my soul for choppy seas
and weather every storm;
I’ll mourn you when you leave too soon,
and leave me so forlorn.

In dreams
he loves me ~
he looks at me with those seductive eyes
that take me on flights along emerald skies

In dreams
he touches me
and I melt with desire
his hands and his kisses light me on fire

In dreams
he takes me
on trips to France and Italy ~
we dance the night away and
dine on the finest cuisines,
sipping champagne
in chauffeured limousines

Then I awaken…
…and have to get ready for work.

Does he not realize
That he dies in front of my eyes
Every time he lies..?

He may as well wield a knife
And take his own life

For it is not the sword
But the deceitful word

That cuts the jugular and the femoral
in preparation for his funeral..

It is a permanent stain
His apology is in vain

For there is no return from verbal death
After he’s uttered his last lying breath.