I often long for death
But it never arrives
It looks at me from far
It mocks me from a distance
I sometimes wonder...how did it get to this point?
How did life become so unbearable?
Who is to blame?
Me or the stars?
Was i too laidback....or was i expecting too much?
Did i not give life a fair chance
Or was it the opposite?
I'm not sure if i'll ever fully know the answer or even understand it
And now i don't even want to
So i'll just wait for my time
Maybe it is yet to come
Or maybe it is lurking around the corner
Whenever it comes...it will be quite an experience...
....looking it in the eye..
...perhaps with a bit of curiosity..
...so this what it looks like
...this what it feels like..
...the heart stopping...the organs shutting down..like i'm in a state of trance
My entire life flashing before my eyes
Wished i had used it well...
...and fear... 'coz i'm pretty sure i'm doomed for hell (unless of course a miracle occurs.)

Respecting someone doesn't mean that you can't disagree with that person.You have a right to hold your own view and sometimes this view might not match with someone else's...but respect is no reason to suppress your views.

The first step towards learning from your mistakes is admitting them.

Love and pragmatism can never figure in the same sentence simply 'coz they never see eye to eye.

If we ever stop talking...write me a letter once in a while or send me a song.

Sometimes absence is required to feel a person's presence more intensely.

The true use of power is to know when not to use it.

There might be a smile on your lips
But your eyes are giving it away
You can try and pretend
But there's nothing that the eyes don't say

I look at you with love and compassion...
...Like yours is the only face i want to see
You on the other hand look at me with disgust and contempt...
...Like you'd rather see any other face than mine
...what contrasting views we have!!!

The moment you stop stressing over the uncontrollables of your life....your life tends to become that much simpler.

I will never forget all the good things my father has done for me. I love him for a lot of reasons...but one of the major reasons for which i love him is because he has taught me the 3 most valuable lessons of my life-
1)How not to treat a woman(especially if she happens to be your wife. It really pained me to say this.)
2)Your first priority in life should be to become self-independent as soon as possible.
3)Never put blind trust in anyone.

Deep within all of us lies an impeccable source of strength...a strength of which we are unaware and sometimes it takes an adverse and hopeless circumstance to draw it out....and once we discover it...we will realize that no goal is too big and no path is impossible...if we have the stomach for a fight and the will to learn and improve then virtually nothing is unachievable....Roger Federer winning his 18th slam at the age of 35 and Rafael Nadal winning his tenth French Open at age 31 is an inspiration to me...the fact that these legends did not give up and were ready to keep working and fight it out..has taught me one valuable lesson...even when you're going through a prolonged phase of failures never ever feel demotivated...keep your hopes up and believe in yourself...you will taste success again.

The morning rays of the sun
The freshness of the air
The sweet taste of your lips
The intoxicating smell of your body
Playing with your beautiful hair
Looking deeply into those ocean blue eyes
Watching you blush
Listening to your sweet voice
The perfect start to the day.....
I wish i get to experience this every single day of my life

Always keep in my mind that every decision you make in life and every action of yours based on that decision doesn't affect you alone...it impacts every single person associated with you.

You ask me whether i love you
Then you ask me as to how much i love you?
I don't need to say that i love you all the time
Every inch of your body knows it
Your soul knows it
Both are familar with me
My taste, smell, feel and touch...
.....they are all imbibed in your senses
There's no getting rid of them now
I reside in you and vice-versa
I long to taste you everyday
Your silky hair feels so good to touch
Your porcelain like skin feels incredible when it brushes against my skin
Those ocean deep eyes...they say so much without saying
The freshness and beauty of your being is something i look forward to every single day
Your words are my greatest source of inspiration
I aspire to be like you
A heart so full of warmth and always ready to give
A heart that is selfless and kind
A heart that provides hope

The evening sky streaked with the colours of the setting sun
To look at it....oh so much fun!!!
Like a bullet fired from a solar gun
Whose main purpose is to stun
Aw!!!  ****!!!.  ....the sun's gone...that's it...i think i'm done!!!
The beautiful amalgamation of fireworks has now turned into a dark empire
But wait....it seems to have has it's charm...
....namely the stars and the moon
Gosh that does make me swoon!!!
Soulgasms followed by soulgasms
I can't take it no more
So i'll just close my eyes and give in to this incredible pleasure
And as the cool breeze strokes my hair away
And the sound of leaves dancing in the wind give me eargasms
I can feel myself "coming" again!!!

A soulmate for me is someone whom i feel safe with...and i'm not talking about physical safety here...by safety i mean mental and emotional safety...if i'm afraid or hesitant to expose myself mentally or emotionally in front of my lover...for fear of being judged..if i can't be myself around my lover...if i'm afraid to drop my defences and choose to remain constantly guarded in front of my lover...then it has to be said that the person is not and cannot be my soulmate. A soulmate should be someone who accepts you for who you are and isn't constantly trying to turn you into someone you are not. A soulmate should impact you positively and fill you with happiness and belief. Often i keep hearing that it is impossible to find the perfect soulmate...well guess what no one is perfect...your soulmate isn't supposed to be perfect in every aspect..you make up for his shortcomings and he makes up for your flaws....that's how this works...soulmates aren't rare...it's just that like all good things sometimes they arrive a bit late..(sometimes a bit more late than you would like!!!)...but they do come...you just gotta look hard and have patience.

In my limited years on earth i have found mothers to be the most selfless and dedicated beings....i'm not in anyway undermining the role of fathers in our lives...but mothers are simply irreplaceable...they are just a class apart...but at times i have also found them to be equally stubborn...maybe it is because they love and care so much...maybe 'coz for her the child never grows up...i don't know...happens with me all the time...i keep telling my mom..'don't work so hard...i can do this by myself'...but she never pays any heed...she just keeps on working tirelessly...and i just keep drowning in a sea of shame and guilt.

Love is like a paperboat...once you set it to sail...you no longer have any control over it...it has to chart it's own course and find it's way through the vastness of the sea.

A person with unlimited resources isn't as dangerous as a person who has nothing to lose...and when the two go head to head against each other...odds are that the latter will triumph over the former...and the reason is simple...when a man has nothing to lose...he no longer has fear in his mind or heart.

Sometimes it is within the chaos itself where you find the answers....sometimes it takes a turmoil to give you a sense of clarity...sometimes it is amongst the ruins where you find beauty...and all of this baffles you...and you wonder-'how is this even possible?'
Quite often you'll notice that the situations that are adverse or disadvantageous actually give you an insight like never before...'coz they not only reveal to you the reality of people around you...but by the way you handle these situations...they also tell you a lot about yourself.

The thing about time is that it keeps going through a constant process of change....if you're going through a bad time be rest assured that it's not gonna last forever....you just gotta be patient,endure it and fight it out..similarly when you're having the good times make the most of it..'.coz that too ain't gonna last forever...sometimes the good times and the bad times tend to follow each other..pretty much like the seasons..the various seasons come to power at their prescribed time and then they leave like they had never arrived..so basically time gives us hope and at the same time tells us to be cautious.

I know that hope is a dangerous thing....it's risky..perhaps at times a foolish thing...may be we expect too much from it...may be the burden of expectations is starting to take it's toll on it....i don't know...but the the truth is that it's the only thing that keeps me ticking....i honestly don't know whether i would survive the lack of it...i dread this a lot..and so i always keep telling myself all the time...no matter what...i won't give up hope.

When your parents abandon you...it hurts
When your lover abandons you...it hurtss
But when your friend abandons you..it hurtsss the most

There is a slim chance but still a chance that you'll recover from the first two shocks...the recovery from the third one though is extremely challenging.[virtually impossible in some cases.]

Always have dreams and never lose sight of your dreams no matter what...'coz that is what will help you progress in life..it will motivate you to move ahead..there will be many obstacles on the path to reaching your dreams...you just have to be strong, believe in yourself and fight them...along the way you'll come across some who will criticise and demotivate...keep away from them...there will be a select few who will understand your dreams and support you...keep them close..remember your dreams are a part of you and so fight for them till you realise them.

I've seen your eyes
They're constantly looking at me
I can tell that they want me
So burn me with the fire of lust that is coursing through your veins
Spare not an inch of me
I want to be devoured
I don't care about what anyone might say or think
I've spent far too many nights teary-eyed, lonely...broken and bruised
I'm longing to be touched
Hold me tight and don't let go
Even if for a few moments
'Coz those few moments....they seem like an eternity to me
In those few moments i feel at my happiest and safest
In those few moments i'm transported to a state of bliss
Just for a day i want to wake up being covered with someone's else's aroma
Just for a day i want to wake up feeling wanted or craved
Just for a day i want to break-up with loneliness
Just for a day i want to talk and listen to someone other than myself
I want you so bad
And i know you want me too
So let us surrender ourselves and partake in the festival of lust
where we try and discover and decipher our darker side

There are very few visuals as seductive as a cloudy sky...the sight of dark clouds moving in that slow motion, sound of thunder, the flashes of lightning and the pre-shower smell...it's like the earth getting itself ready to be drenched with the drops of love...and then the post shower smell...oh man!!! simply *******.

If you can't prevent something...it is imperative that you prepare for it.

It's incredible as to how your past, present and future are so deeply interconnected with each other...your present is what it is because of your past(at least to some extent if not entirely)...and your future will be what it will be because of your present...and the common factor in all of this is the present...'coz today's present is yesterday's past and also tomorrow's future.

Hypothetically speaking if the concept of re-birth were to exist then i would love to be reborn as a woman...at times being a man seems so boring to me...i have always admired women...their traits, the sacrifices they make, their incredible personalities, their complexities...and especially the plethora of choices they have when it comes to fashion!!! ....and also i'd give anything to have a woman's amazing hair and her incredible smile!!! ....these two alone are absolute gold. Hats off to every single women on the planet...if not for you then we men would've long destroyed and devoured every single good bit of this planet.

I know i'll never get over you...
And neither will you
.....but some things are best left unfinished
There's a certain bit of charm to it
You try and complete it and it loses its charm

Never take a decision just because you trust someone. Analyse the situation yourself and then arrive at a decision.

I've never quite understood the term- 'eat healthy'. I've never really been one to follow a particular diet. Personally i feel eating healthy basically means two things-
1)You should keep surprising your tongue everyday.
2)Your plate should have an array of colours.

Don't leave me alone in the house
For just like me the house refuses to function without you
The TV seems uninteresting when you are not there to watch it
Food loses it's taste
The taps refuse to co-operate
The curtains tease and torment me
The cat doesn't want to eat
For just like me he seems lost without you
The fans and the air-conditioner seem useless
For only you can calm the fire that burns my soul
The lights don't seem to work
For nothing is as illuminating as your presence
The house without you seems like a graveyard
So please come back
'Coz the bed just like my heart is getting cold....

With every passing day, my life was getting complicated...
...so i decided to make it a little simpler
...i forgave some
..and asked for forgiveness from some
And i must say things have been much better ever since

A strong mind is not one which is focused and determined..rather it is the one which has the ability to focus and concentrate and as well as divert and distract itself at will...if you cannot divert and distract your mind then it becomes very difficult to filter out the unwanted stuff.

You never really understand a person unless and until you step into his shoes and start to look at things from his point of view.

Red seems to be the colour of the day...while some look forward to this day..some dread it...the absence of a special one in your life hurts not 'coz you miss the physical part..it's because you can't share your moments of joy and despair, your dreams, desires, hopes and fears with anyone...sure if you're lucky you'll have some good friends and great parents...but neither your friends nor your parents can make up for the lack of love in your life...love is possibly the most beautiful emotion that there is..the best drug for the soul and yet at times it can be so harsh and inaccessible.

As i'm nearing the end...I can't recall having done much good during my time here on earth, save for one thing....having loved you sincerely, whole-heartedly...at times selfishly....i could never express my feelings to you....for i was scared of the outcome...but deep in my soul....in that place where darkness and light meet...i have your image secured like a permanent tattoo...like a beautiful scar...like an everlasting thought...an immortal memory...a dangerous desire..an unfulfilled dream...often on those cold lonely nights i visit that forbidden place and just watch you...sometimes sleeping, sometimes smiling, sometimes bathing in the serenity of my troubled soul, sometimes looking at me with those compassionate eyes...sometimes you talk to me...often we tend to have these deep and meaningful conversations...i want to thank you for being a part of me...your words and ideas have constantly inspired me and i hope they continue to do so.

I have always been fascinated by the way women eat...how they savour every bite...take in all the flavours...be it a chocolate or a cake or an ice-cream or a flavoured yogurt...every spoonful/bite matters to them...i'm not saying that guys don't enjoy their food...but at times we eat like we've gotta a time limit...just somehow gulping it down like crazy!!! I must admit that i've inculcated this trait of women in my eating habit and i'm certainly enjoying it much more. I realize now that foodgasm isn't a myth!!!

I've always been fascinated by scars. The physical ones seem like little decorative items on the skin...the mental ones on the other hand are a bit complicated..'coz you can't quite figure out whether to keep them or discard them..and if you choose any one of the options...the follow-up question usually is..HOW??? Scars be it physical or mental have their own special place in our lives...some get washed away with the passage of time..some you wish would get washed away but they never quite do..they haunt you...they look at you with those ferocious eyes and taunt you...constantly reminding you of the horror and trauma you've suffered...and some are the real special ones....they become a part of your existence...they somehow get merged with your identity...they motivate you in a weird way...'coz they remind you that you've survived them...and here you are...still standing...still breathing...still fighting. You see the thing about scars is that they can either make you or break you...it's upto you as to how you combat this frightening and yet beautiful problem.

Try as hard as it may...but the head will never understand the heart.

Age is truly just a number...if you have the desire,discipline and dedication towards achieving something, then you will get it...be it sooner or later.

Your eyes are quite something
They say so much
And yet conceal a lot
I wonder what secrets they hold
Beneath those layers of light and love
What pain and regrets do they live with?
What do they see in me?
Do they look at with love or caution?
I wish i could read them better

The eyes i think are the most incredible physical attribute of the human body
They never lie
And say so much without saying
Almost every single emotion is revealed through this medium

Going through life is like walking on a tightrope....there's always gonna be the occasional jerks and uncomfortable moments...moments when you feel like you're just about to fall and yet the challenge is to keep oneself focused and balanced in spite of all that turmoil that goes on around you....and in order to do this it's important that you have self-belief and the stomach for a fight....for without these two traits it's virtually impossible to reach the end.

It's one thing to believe in sacrifice...it's entirely another thing to act upon it. At times i've found sacrifices difficult to implement..in the beginning it stings a bit but at the end of it when i see that sign of happiness on the face of the person for whom i've done it...it makes it worth it.

''If someone really wants you, nothing will keep them away, but if they don't want you, nothing will make them stay!''

You are like the air
You are never visible
But your presence is vital for my survival
Sure there are days when you can be a bit harsh and challenging
At times you push me to the limits
But on most days you're just such a soul refresher
On those hot and humid days you're like a source of positivity
Honestly...I don't know what i'd without you

Being strong isn't much different from being weak...the difference is that in the former you don't give up.

You were with me at my best
I wish you were with me at my worst
That was when i needed you the most
I was lost and confused
My soul broken and bruised
My life in complete shambles
How i longed to hear your voice..that sweet reassuring voice
How i longed for your touch..that healing, loving touch
I hoped and prayed that you would come
That you would look at me and make the pain go away
That you would softly whisper in my ear-'it's gonna be okay...i'm here for you'
But you never did...
...you just never did
Night after night...
...it was just me and my tears and no one else..
...no one else