Sometimes I feel unwanted, rejected,
Then I remind Myself that the only person who can makes me happy is ME.

I never know how to walk away because i am always afraid i won't find something that special again.

I am really good at creating relationship

But for what ? If i don't really need them.

Do I lie to myself about the fact that i don't need them or i really don't need them ?
I think, they just make me feel normal in a society.

But why ? After all, they all lie and I am the real one, and they feel bad about my behaviour because they don't want to be seen that way or this way.
Really ? You can't come around me because i make you look different ?

Did you ever ask yourself that maybe you were always with people that don't act truly with you ? Maybe you feel different with me because i am the only one that shows you what the world really is.

I won't change, if what i do best is showing you the real world.

What if I never stop thinking of you ?
What if love exactly that: be haunted ?
What if I loose myself because I refuse to see you?
What if I want to see you again ? Would you be angry ? Happy ? Would you ignore me just for revenge?
What if I miss you ?
What is it’s not the truth?

I don't know what I feel but I am sure that I feel.

Someday I would run into your arm just to smell you and got this heart bump that I love so much. Look at your eyes and loose myself, getting your crazy look at me and give you all.

Other days my mind is strong and keeps reapeting to me that it's not the right thing to do and that I will regret to follow my kind of feelings that I am not even sure about.

Then I go to my bed and everything comes back, I am having flashed of us in the bath, in your room, my clothes falling down as I don't even notice.

And I wake up and I am full of doubts : what if it's all lies, what if I am getting played. I can't throw everything I build since years for just a feeling a "I want to see".

But still I love adventures and I don't believe in love anyway so what do I have to loose : few more years? What if I can win a lot more?

But still all of this is only based on "if" and I can't risk so much.

I don’t know what I miss,
—-
I have been taught;
By the TV that I should be a princess,
By my mum that I should look like a princess and fight like a soldier.
But I am definitely not a princess :
- I eat like a dinosaur
- I walk like an elephant
- I talk loader than anyone
- I dress like a ninja
- I sing like a drunk teenager
- I prefer my drunk walk than the cat walk
—-
It’s supposed to be like in a film this is what I miss: the unconditional love that I see on screen or maybe I just miss you...
—-
I never know what I miss

I want to live in my dreams the one where everything always goes right and I am the only one to decide when it goes left.

Do I really ever regret going left ? I don’t really know because every time I feel empty the only way I see is left.

Right is nice, left feel so good.

I can’t believe that I was taking about what i want and I just write going left.

Anyway right is right, left has left.
—-
Then he said I love you

What should I do now
I know this would happen

And finally it did
I don’t feel lost
I am just afraid to loose myself
This self I love so much

I don’t want anyone telling me I am not good enough, strong enoug, beautiful enough

So let’s make decision

I won’t let anyone putting me down for any reason
I will be mindful on what I say but never stop sharing what I think

I am not single I am good with myself
Is not because you are single that you should please anyone around
Keep you life your character you envy of living your power of words

Quantity is nothing compared to quality
I prefer to wait for the good than waiting my time and being destroyed by the wrong ones

Love it up
Never give up
FLY first love yourself

Do we need to fall in love madly ?

I am always questioning love and the couple as it has been sold to me.
And as weird as it seems : it’s totally not one of my goals.

How can I trust the world and the idea of love if I don’t even see what’s being a couple means.
I heard it’s holding hands at the sunset, laughing until sunrise and drinking to get blind.
This who sounds beautiful for most of the people sounds painful for me.

The sun rise every morning in a different way and set every evening with different colors it looks beautiful but what if it’s jsut the look what if the red colors are the symbol of fire, of anger, of unhappy feelings ?

I saw so many of those “couples” and they always seems not to get enough.
I want magic, no lies, only laugh, no battle, no drama ... apparently it’s too much to ask.
I would like someone to hold my hands traveling the world, raising kids who can understand that seeing the positive way of life is always the best option. Is there anyone in this world who just want to go that way ?

Until then I am here, I am waiting, I know you find me.

Yesterday in the middle of the party I closed my eyes, danse on one of the song we used to listen and I imagined you - lost in my neck, holding me tight.

I sleep in a different bed every week
But I know
- I will meet you soon
- you are waiting for me as well
- you and me : it will means everything

That you have lived as I have but you waited for me as I did
And we would smile
And we will laugh drink and touch

And it will feel like never before
More I imagine it more close I get to you

I have been played you won’t play me you will know I am not a game,
I have been lied to, you won’t lie to me you know I don’t deserve this,
I am loved and you will admire that,
I am clever and you will empowered it,
I am all your and you will never take it for guarantee

—-
- “Destiny, bring me to him he is waiting for me, I know you are waiting for me to be ready but it’s only when I will see him that I will be”

You find yourself in your lies and you think i don't know while i am laugh at all your words. I told you i beleive in action and not words.

When you are in front of me your red eyes talk to me and share your lies with me. Oh dear if you only know what was the limit between reality and escape.

But your dark side is always there, your only matter you have with me is that i have been to hell many times. A martyr of the devil can't fight an other one.  

More you lie more i escape, but i some how like the way you lie it keep my weapon strong and my heart as bright as the gold, as strong as a rock.

The best part of it is that i take pleasure watching you, find yourself in your lies.

Today I did bad, I looked at your pictures. I mean we are still friends it’s not like I made a mistake.

And I saw you there, smiling, traveling, drinking wine, you even speak English now and you are learning Spanish, I just hear you say “Te amo”, que lindo!

I felt sad for a moment and then I felt so happy :  You who never wanted to move, to try new things, to explore...seems that I was not that wrong at the end to choose the world you did too <3.

This morning your smile made me happy! Love Miss Flex

I need to feel your skin
I miss it badly

I know it’s wrong
I know you are with her

Side by side
Just let me feel your breath

Even if we can’t touch
Even if we should not talk

Let me feel your skin