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203 · Aug 2020
bittersweet, good riddance.
Ileana Amara Aug 2020
it was remember to forget;
that then is not the same as now,
and miles have stretched in between since we have met.

IA
there are things & people we have to stop hoping they could come back into our lives the same way it was then.
196 · Jun 2020
finding flow (v.)
Ileana Amara Jun 2020
when you breathe life and forget about existence
paving a secret passage towards happiness,
ecstatic, passionate, alive; beating up cruel fate's wittiness.

IA ☕
Ileana Amara Jul 2020
idealism is a fraud;

angels don't cut off demons' horns
nor do they make them do so;

trust is built for decades,
it cannot be rebuilt in a month
after its destruction;

sometimes worn out apologies
are slapped band-aids onto wounds;

love is not a combat of logic and emotion,
whoever wins makes the other go;

hearts don't stay hearts,
they turn into things
when their own beats begin to lie;

we live in utopian daydreams,
with only a few, broken but breathing souls
seeing through the seams.

IA
186 · May 2020
aftermath of heartbreak
Ileana Amara May 2020
beautiful, fleeting beginnings
collide two restless souls
to strip naked before each other,
****** manifests imperfection,
they were clothed with love
and when the time pass and it wears off,
two naked souls pick up its own clothes,
and unknowingly return to strangers.

IA
184 · Jun 2020
beautiful and tragic truths
Ileana Amara Jun 2020
we're all just a blink in a ripple of time,
everything, be it good or bad, is temporary
a faultless coincidence or an action to a crime
in a realistic end, everything happens for a reason.

IA
183 · May 2020
lessons from longueurs
Ileana Amara May 2020
of black and white keys
I long to reach the end of this piece,
each finger mastered the proximity of notes,
of compositions filled of longueurs and musical anecdotes.

I must play this piece not to lull the audience to sleep,
put your head up, let your soul play, this is a lesson to keep
harmonize your hands with every touch and play
tame or ruin the instrument, don't mind what they will say

even if these longueurs take hours
or a dull eternity, play in the stage
until they applaud you with flowers.

IA
For BLT's word of the day challenge: Longueur.
182 · May 2020
rainy days
Ileana Amara May 2020
the rain pours outside
as I watch by my window,
stuck in chaos' calm.

IA
182 · Aug 2020
armor-less.
Ileana Amara Aug 2020
the daggers pierced through,
when i thought i had an armor on;
i barely felt the stinging pain,
i barely bled before my eyes,

i carried on until i looked at the mirror;
i forgot how the sharp tip should have felt,
it pierced through my own flesh, armor-less.

IA
170 · Jun 2020
scratched scars
Ileana Amara Jun 2020
scars do bleed into wounds again,
even if they have clotted,
when they are scratched in itch and immense pain.

IA
166 · May 2020
seams
Ileana Amara May 2020
underneath the seams of fate,
tell me, which do you regret more;
the day you met me?
or the day you left?

IA
A thought-provoking question from my friend that I'm currently thinking of.
159 · Jun 2020
little things (n.)
Ileana Amara Jun 2020
the ones that matter most
when life gives you a lethal dose
of endless mediocrity, viewed in such grandiose.

IA
156 · Jun 2020
edged memories
Ileana Amara Jun 2020
memories are what we often create,
what we seldom forget,
and what we desire to relive.

yet time and time again, they are dangerous things;
we memorize each touch and every ending,
and we still find an edge that cuts.

IA
153 · Nov 2020
of fear & death
Ileana Amara Nov 2020
i don't fear my own death as far as i know
i fear my loved ones',
because then i'd be breathing alive, but dead inside.

IA
Ileana Amara Apr 2020
A quaintrelle's heart is precious,
Even more so when it pursues
Not a man to love her, but her own growth.

Passion was its heartbeat,
Enclosed in a rib cage made of forged knives
so that a real man should struggle before it.

For a woman who knows her worth and beauty,
knows well that no one could be irreparably broken
Even when she ironically used forged knives to protect her scars.

IA
Quaintrelle (n.)
a woman who emphasizes a life of passion
144 · May 2020
souls' medicine
Ileana Amara May 2020
whoever prescribed love
as a medication for wounds,
did not know unfulfilled quantity
needs an antidote difficult to find.

IA
142 · Jun 2020
life & death
Ileana Amara Jun 2020
maybe this life of ours
and this cruel world
left our eyes with tears blurred
harnessing strength from our scars

until they carve on our tombstones
what we so often need as we breathe and live;
rest in peace, in the underground lay the casket of our bones,
a decent rest in peace, maybe solely death could give.

IA
Ileana Amara Apr 2020
They don't exist unless you let them to.

No farewells, no closure, nothing to ease the pain when it all fell apart
I stood idly in the nowhere, the numbness engulfing me
A thousand pieces collapse within, but a glamour of a whole
is what all the eyes clothed with judgment and pain see.

I have healed, but my demons don't want me to...
They scream your name and all the injustice and regrets and losses
Befriend them, Co-exist with them, until you fully Tame them
but there's a reason why beasts are caged.

Take away its old identity,
Give it time and restriction if that is for the greater good,
But in no time, they would wreak havoc and seek chaos,
Before your eyes and before your heart.

Driven with madness and pain,
it would shed blood but not of its own,
With its whole, soul-less black eyes, it would look upon you
and say,"I would never have done this if I never lost you this way."

IA
129 · May 2020
you
Ileana Amara May 2020
you
all it took was one song
for the ground to open up
and swallow me viciously
into a memory lane of love.

IA
123 · May 2020
empty poetry
Ileana Amara May 2020
a crafted line or two of these random words
becomes nothing but mere, effortlessly made records
of vague emotions, of untold chaos sitting still inside
maybe so much could still be written as I long for this heaviness to subside

IA
122 · May 2020
in quiet screams
Ileana Amara May 2020
who am I to hold you back
if you're bleeding to go
and I'm aching and screaming quietly
wishing you would stay?

IA ☕
I think there will always be a time in our lives when we have to let go and accept that some people come and go like season changes.
121 · May 2020
if this is a goodbye
Ileana Amara May 2020
when our stories begin to drip in polychromatic hues,
I long to have a decent epilogue for this story of two;

if this is a goodbye,
I wish our end with a smile and not with tears in our eyes

if this is a goodbye,
I hope at the forked road we part, we both learn how to get by

if this is a goodbye,
I long to preserve the good old memories and not let them die

if this is a goodbye,
I sincerely, and deeply hope everything we had is not a lie.

IA ☕
107 · May 2020
poetry is medicine
Ileana Amara May 2020
I breathe my soul out
like a wordsmith tinged with art
in poetry as a medicine,
deep thoughts lay behind each line
deep emotions are felt by each stanza

nobody prescribed me such
my soul just knew where and what it wanted
because poetry is medicine.

IA
107 · May 2020
your name
Ileana Amara May 2020
what I used to love,
but now wince at the mere sound,
mere sight, and mere thought of it.

IA
102 · May 2020
1:42 a.m.
Ileana Amara May 2020
write me a poem so deeply weaved,
sing me a song that I may learn how to live,
I'm torn in the war of both my mind and heart,
dwelling on the inked pages of crafted thoughts and art.

IA
101 · May 2020
perspective of love
Ileana Amara May 2020
it is never too human to love,
for it is beyond human to let love
conquer the unconquerable things.

IA
98 · May 2020
madame & a little girl
Ileana Amara May 2020
a little girl sat on the side of her bed,
facing the window to watch the moon
with her arms folded over to rest her head
she gazed at the moonlight dreamily, her soul in tune

she pondered over the thought of her friends,
most are seasonal, why do good things have to end
she thought about love, chaos, emotion
an old soul resides in her, even if not much of profound notion

she wipes her tears as she remember the goodbyes,
both said and never said, both temporarily and permanently,
she smiled at the moon and breathed a deep sigh,
"I'm only a little girl, to be treated by this world mercilessly."

a knock came upon her door, her madame coming in
it was too late to pretend to be asleep,
she came over to the little girl to see how she has been
"At this hour, why does a young girl weep?"

the little girl's eyes opened its windows to her soul
letting anyone see how dismantled her facade of whole,
"What causes such demounting to your young fragile heart?
whatever it is, bleed tears and from fragmented pieces, you'll again learn how to make art."

IA
83 · May 2020
healing & growth
Ileana Amara May 2020
"Maybe we are all one degree
and one strange encounter away from healing.
Maybe it isn’t something we don’t have to do alone,
just maybe all it takes is one person
to teach us the pain we feel right now
and everything we’ve been holding on to for this long
is what we can let go of."
72 · May 2020
new music
Ileana Amara May 2020
no one closes their eyes,
to see the one who can stop their cries

no one covers its ears,
to listen to someone who can brush off their fears

no one shuts their mouth,
to save something that is heading down south

no one untangles their hands,
to intertwine with a soul who understands

no one slams their door,
to someone who embraces them when they're down on the floor

no one freezes their hearts up,
to someone who filled love in all its gaps

no one walks away,
only until they run out of words to say,
only until too much compromising causes dismay,
only until they contemplate if it's still worth their stay.

love itself is an unconditional give and take,
if it's unrequited, it's a fragile heart at stake,
people don't choose who they love, they just do
lovers muster all their strength just to make it through

no one half-loves for it would be such a mediocrity,
so know the right time to bid a farewell and sincere apology,
love is a precious thing, but one must see their worth,
it's not selfishness, truth be told, it's always our last resort

take baby steps when you have had enough,
you may be limping and crying, alone in the tough
you might be disregarding your wounds just to run back
in the same old arms and hands that made your heart crack.

but again, take baby steps to heal, it's a process
with each step, smile, endure the pain, listen to the beat
weep and mourn all throughout for the loss and emotions suppressed
you loved enough to walk away when it was your heart to deplete

listen to the conjuring harmony of a new music in the making,
solely made from the footsteps you took, away from something that made you feel less deserving.

IA
We never wanted to but sometimes we had to.
67 · May 2020
love
Ileana Amara May 2020
love is a battlefield,
where our hearts are the casualties,
and uncertainty is where
our hopes are tied into.

IA
62 · Apr 2020
hope
Ileana Amara Apr 2020
hope is a dangerous
yet fragile thing,
too much or too less;
both destroys the host.

IA

— The End —