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 Nov 2013 Sinai
Harry J Baxter
Don't smile at me
especially not with your eyes
it's just not fair.
Every single one of you has the upper hand on me
I see you at cafes
at parties drunk beyond mischief
I see you in the elevator
on the streets
through my window
in my high school year book
In my dreams
the first poem I wrote on this site
about three hundred or so ago
so **** romantic and cheesy
but that's how you make me feel
your blonde hair
your chestnut hair
black hair
green, blue mahogany eyes
the natural born mothers
the rebels
the ones who just wanted me to feel good about being me
all of you so **** special
I've loved you all at some point or another
but that doesn't make it fair
when I see another one of you
at the party
smiling, dancing, asking me to take shots
I can't say no
the only thing I want
validation from making you feel validated
and beautiful
like you are
all I want to say is this
Whether it be one conversation lasting from the lobby to the second floor
or a life long friendship
I'm thankful for all of you
the doe in the forest
 Nov 2013 Sinai
Harry J Baxter
Her backbone is a long stretch of American western highway
I trace my fingers eastbound/westbound across the slats of her ribs
pressed against the skin ready to pop
She left southside Midlothian Virginia as soon as she was old enough to make her own bad decisions
sick of being looked at
eyes grading like the big fat red D's stamped on her math homework
She left by foot
bus
plain
train
that grey jetta with the scratch down the passenger side from where she parked too close to that ugly Subaru
she left me
but she needed to breathe some air that wasn't stale with mediocre pretension and the frat house odor of stale beer and sawdust
so run wild
fly free
may your lips utter cliches without fear of derision
go make your life an incredible story
beautiful
ugly
hard to look at
can't look away
make your life a story
and I'll record it
want more? find me at hbaxter94.com
 Nov 2013 Sinai
Harry J Baxter
Does a sociopath love?
does the child who pinches the girl sitting next to him in kindergarten?
The tongue tied middles schooler
hey.. uh.. um.. I was like... well.. just wondering... You wanna like maybe... dance or something
the text recipient writing four drafts of his response reading:
what are you doing this Friday night?
The jolt of lightning which rips through his body
a current sent from her through their clutched hands
or the girl who blushes when Prince tall, dark, handsome, and charming
looks her in the eye and smiles
we all stand on the edge of the cliff
waiting to be pushed
praying that they are there when we hit the ground
with a hug, a coffee, and a thick blanket
we all want somebody to love us in the ways we could never love ourselves
so we might be complete
hbaxter94.com
 Nov 2013 Sinai
AJ
I can't breath.
I can't ******* breath.
I feel like I should be freaking out.
Like the
Kicking
Screaming
Lock me up
Because I'm going crazy
Kind of freaking out.
I just feel really calm
And ice cold
And slow
And shaky.
I can't breath though
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
I can't
brea
th.
Please help me.
I don't know what happened.
I don't know what he gave me.
I don't know why it happened.
I don't know why I did it.
I am an awful person.
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
It was so slow.
I can't
remem
ber
it
all.
I don't remember when he came back
In the room.
I really don't.
I can't remember
The point where he
I CAN'T ******* BREATH
Got on top of me.
He was just there.
I don't know.
I DON'T REMEMBER.
I was almost asleep.
WHAT DID HE GIVE ME.
I can't remember anything
With any detail.
I ALWAYS REMEMBER DETAILS
I CAN'T BREATH.
I don't remember it all.
I can remember the things he said
And I can remember where he
I CAN'T BREATH.
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
WHY IS NO ONE COMING TO HELP ME.
started to **** me.
Why did I let him do it.
I DON'T REMEMBER THIS.
I NEED HELP.
I don't remember screaming.
I really don't.
I don't remember them coming in.
I don't remember all of the guys tearing him off me
And throwing him against the wall
And starting to hit him.
And Adam rushing me out to his car.
I don't remember hearing him scream in pain
As I left the room.
I don't remember falling asleep in the back of the car.
I don't.
I ruined my life.
It's all my fault.
I CAN'T BREATH.
SOMEONE ****
ING COME HELP
ME I CAN'T
*******
BREATH.
PLEA
SE.
I don't remember everything.
It just feels like.
I don't ******* know.
It's just so unclear.
There's one thing I do remember.
But I promise
I don't remember when I started to scream.
I just felt like I wanted to die.
I didn't know where anyone was.
WHERE IS EVERYONE.
I don't remember screaming.
PLEASE
******* SOMEONE.


I can remember him covering my mouth.
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME.
I
CAN
'T
****
ING
BREA
TH
PLEASE
SOME
ONE
*******
HEL
P
M
E.
 Nov 2013 Sinai
Ann Beaver
Untitled
 Nov 2013 Sinai
Ann Beaver
Reanimate a dead fish
hook through the lips
hips sway a song I forgot the words to
cue the sad violin
sin satisfying for a second
beckoning over the edge of a tower
power of gravity and lust
foundry of trust.
 Nov 2013 Sinai
Lily Gabrielle
We were like the sun,
A nebula of broken words that led straight to warmth.
Your hands were mine to hold,
And rub.
They look
Colder and shadowed purple
From halfway across the room.  
Your eyes, a swarm of bees,
But your taste buds are no longer satisfied with honey;
They crave something greener.
We smiled at each others flaws,
And skipped stones to maybe one day glide across the water,
without being scraped by salt.
Your forearms healed each wound inflicted by burns.
Hours spend straightening your shoulders
To walk among a rare breed,
As connected to the fire as you.
Close to the brim,
Bursting with love,
You must have looked back and fallen in,
To the smoke your lungs couldn't deny.
But don't deny me,
the right to love you still.
 Nov 2013 Sinai
AJ
DON'T TOUCH ME
 Nov 2013 Sinai
AJ
I don't know what I'm doing.  
Going back to my parent's house to look through
Childhood photos and high school yearbooks.
It's not working.
I can't stop spinning.
Everyone always says childhood is the best time of your life
Then high school,
Then your twenties.
Which time is the best?
A lot of it has already past.
I didn't do it right, did I?
Where am I?
Too many drugs, too little time.
What is happening?
****.
****.
****.
My golden years where more like sterling silver.
 Nov 2013 Sinai
madeline may
cadence
 Nov 2013 Sinai
madeline may
it's three months later
and the tune of our love
still echoes through the labyrinth
of my prozac-poisoned cerebrum

it's the sound of rainy evenings
in whitewashed suburban neighborhoods
overwhelming me
as it ricochets off the cold stone

it's the ghost of your hand
holding mine so tight
and it feels like home
as I stand here alone

even as the symphony changes key
to red hair and bright blue eyes
the cadence of you
still rings in my mind
and it's making me dizzy
this is ****
im sorry
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