Her eyes,
recognised
you;
moving on with a love that belongs
and knows that one day will go
and leave a mark,
for,
a touch lost
and not the settle frost;
never still,
when waiting.

I miss you like maps miss fingers,
Like mikes miss singers,
Like hells bells miss ringers,
Like bringers miss takers,
Like ******* miss fakers,
Like cakes miss bakers,
Like lakes miss boats,
Like bad swimmers miss floats,
Like politicians miss votes,
Like doting parents miss school plays,
Like nymphomaniacs miss lays,
Like hypochondriacs miss prescriptions,
Like ****** misses addictions,
Like carpets miss friction,
Like Billy Bunter misses midnight feasts,
Like the grim reaper misses grief,
Like Henry misses the good fellas,
Like sand sculptures miss umbrellas,
Like Rubix cube devotees miss puzzles,
Like rabid dogs miss muzzles,
Like Van Gough missed his brushes,
Like speed freaks miss rushes,
Like pens miss paper,
Like the Mona Lisa missed Pater,
Like the canvas misses the creator,
Like  the thirsty miss water,
Like the hungry miss food,
Like ***** miss the lewd,
Like the mind misses mood,
Like the tides miss the moon,
Like the sane miss the loons,
Like the dark misses the light,
Like the brave miss the fright,
Like the kite misses the wind.
I miss everything.

Forgetting fortes
within this conglomerate;
fortified crumble

Crept cruelly in and begin
winter wails,
cold migrations
on tattered sails,
no colours
or nature's fireworks,
no fire works
to warm or rouse,
shout for drought and arid house,
far from fear
and tear.

You are migrating too slowly,
to leave,
with leaves.
Wings beat to come back
and look back,
if luck's back.
This autumn;
falls done.

Do not stop and ponder
a decay
but crush brittle curl
with a memory of yesterday,
when I was strong
and green
and could not fall
until this time,
after my time.

In mild air
seething green recedes
at a trot
not gallop,
some splendor left
but scarcer and sought.
Fortified in fought,
still strong for days
unchanged.
Until giving way
is the way.

Scrugged slowy.
And then.
Puny
roared
with impunity.

In the air you appear,
slowly,
winning a race and delicate.
Far from frost
and stuck engines
or fall;
with,
exquisite essence of thaw.

I could be happier,
by not thinking,
how i could
be happier.

I'll besiege your speed
with my speed
and hope to run with the rush of today,
engaging,
not to pass by blindly
and stumble
but reaching,
if not touch,
still reaching

Saw you returning again from your broken home,
would you ever fix those spoken tomes
you try to say in a troubled tongue?
you turned on something
that was off long.

They criticize
and don’t canonize,
bless you.
we always want you out,
always want you over
the raggedy gambler
With the four leaf clover.

Watched cruelly from the bar
you keep alive,
tracing slip ups


They criticize
They criticize
and don’t canonize,
bless you.
we always want you out,
always want you over
the raggedy gambler
With the four leaf clover.

Your open arms
You’re open hearted
Look what you started

Here and now you are
at your fullest,
neither blooming or waning
but rushing with
the strength of today.
Aware of fall
and remembering shoots
through
barrage and mirage;
the balance of transience.

In this place you purr,
unperturbed and content,
pens plentiful,
not restrained or contained
but still,
and you,
with view.

Wake in gloom sun,
an absence of one
who bore bright gifts,
seismic shift.
Obliterate landscapes;
purr morn go.

This minute with you
is nothing,
an hour nothing,
a day nothing;
everything nothing,
chasing a feeling that's ducked down an alley,
the sound of nothingness,
the mute at the rally.

Missing a shapeless space
and preparing for a view
that moves closer,
slowly and sure
into vision.
Precision, timing,
a perfect arriving.
Now.

I'm a schizophrenic hypocrite
thankfully not in a medical way
i don't have to pop pills everyday
to keep an essence of danger under control
and to stop my head doing backward flips and forward rolls
to curtail bad thoughts and contain OCD
wake up and think "what's happening to me?"
but sometimes i'm full of mazey bomb blasts
and crazy contrasts,
I'm a schizophrenic hypocrite
I say work i'm not even gonna give 50% percent never mind double
but i'll stay just below the warning threshold so i don't really get in trouble,
i do see my sick days as extra days of annual leave
but my bums on my seat most of the year and at least one Eve.
I'm always ducking and diving, i hide and they seek,
but i hit my targets every week.
They can say put down your pens,
strip your pencils of lead,
you can't stop me writing in my head
But you'll sometimes dictate what time i go to bed.
I'm a schizophrenic hypocrite
Nearly every road i walk down i've got a ***** cat friend
there meowing never drives me round the bend
but if me owing then just a letter i'll send.
I’ll rescue  spiders from the bath, without any exception,
But I’ll clean their webs and evict them when I have a house inspection.
Giving up pork, on a parity with pigges at last
But then i broke my faste with bacon for breakfast
Watching lambs a gamboling there frolicking is fab,
but i'll see you on a plate later if i'm craving a kebab.
I'm a schizophrenic hypocrite.
Money and the capitalist structure baffles, no thanks, no ta
but before i go out a quick sub off Ma and Pa.
I'll pay for a taxi, i don't care about the amount,
while checking fervently the statement from my bank account.
Cash cannot be eaten it just gets you into Eton
but i'll rifle through my pockets for pennies to get an eat on
i don't adore you, i'll say your the means to an end
but then i spend some more and ask for a lend.
I'm a schizophrenic hypocrite.
I'll say anarchy  is everywhere, petition and abstain
then  read in the late edition who i think should take the reins.  
I scream smash the system without any regrets
but then start stubbing out where they deem no cigarettes.
I'll say **** big business they are always looting tons
while cutting out Asda coupons to get the soup with croutons.
i'll say **** materialism, to that i am adverse,
"ohh if you want to get me some trainers Mum can you make em Converse? "
I'm a schizophrenic hypocrite
One Saturday i found it hard to move
crying out for water, more than needing food,
stomach emptier than the packets in my pockets
Early winter scribble
spoiled by the ripple of rain,
deadened and dull
on a precious day,
the time I crave
passes through a husk
full of caves.
Each inhabitant curses
and burns
the stagnant soil under their feet,
I want something to eat.
I need to drink.
The cold slab of sink
lures flesh to rest,
unsatisfied
with retched offerings
flung from a scorched earth
so next Friday, a few beers and l I’ll hit the hay
Ten beers later, where’s the MDMA?
And my staunch resolutions go up my nose
Chatting through the night, striking a pose,
Music accentuated, stars sparkling hard
World’s discussed in magic back yards,
Focused and fraught in tumultuous thought
Ten cigs in an hour
An hours too short,
As the morning comes, I start feeling a mess
It slowly disintegrates the treasure in my chest,
Feelings of strength crumble to a feeble frame,
Spears in my head, WHOOPS I’VE DONE IT AGAIN.
You’ll stop this time, I curse and lecture,
Two bottles down next Friday etc etc,
I’m a schizophrenic hypocrite
I remember an uneventful Tuesday when i wasn't working
belly full of rice
and i saw you twice,
two times a day,
on a day in lieu,
time stood still,
smiling at you
i thought i'm gonna have to write about you,
so i park myself in a bar after a joint in Netto carpark
and start using words to build an arc
and if you you do wanna walk in two by two,
can i walk in with you?
Is it this green ride that's getting me high
or the regret i seen in the gleam of your eye
that as soon as we said hi we said bye,
as disappointed as the catcher when he dropped the rye.
If i may be so bold,
if you were cold
i wouldn't hail these stones
i'd pummel Jack Frost until he knows he's lost,
i'll leave all the lights on to hasten global warming
make Obama declare winter a season of mourning,
If you met an iceberg of Titanic  proportions
i'd cut through it quicker than the Ripper does back street abortions.
If you were in prism
i'd try to unrangle the science of triangles
so i could build you a pyramid with all the right angles,
my stomachs in knots;
the most tranquil of tangles.
Then i saw you get out of the lift
and i wanted to play you a rift
until you exposed your midriff
because you set me adrift from chains and shackles
my mind goes crazy and fills with cackles,
i crackle with lightning, my energy heightens
my heart tightens
and not cos of cholesterol
cos i think you're special
and celestial!
I got dreams from naught, my head feels taught,
i prised a lesson from your eyes,
love is the greatest prize.
But now that's gone, all things
pass evolution in transience
faces that were everything lost to balance
blue it merge
but seldom a residual surge
and your bark today was worst than your bite
it said something softly,
i sow the seeds for the sycamore trees
we can carve our names on next summer.
Under an endless stretching sky
you wrote you
and i wrote i,
the lights in our eyes don't lie
they are gateways to the suns inside,
our hearts couldn't hide from this brightening tide.
I'm a Schizophrenic hypocrite
I remember this guy from work, cooed to me
look at the **** on this page 3
he drooled over Nuts magazine like he belonged in a zoo
i bet he frequented strippers too.
He said seen this clip, it's ******* great,
it ad turn a couple of queers straight
it was these two twins with rouge lips being rude,
the way she chomped on her like food
and they defo loved it,there is  no doubt
it's just just ***** Eskimo ******* kissing snouts
and sharing with her sister the joy of getting licked out.
Wonder how they looked in the family car?
giggling about some exciting destination,
like all kids displaying a lack of patience,
“are we there yet” chorused with glee and duality,
dressed in the same clothes to ensure parity.
Ice cream for tea.
Maybe they might be way into drugs
or addled with addiction
lacking hugs
and sore from the friction.
Not liking the glare
feeling scared.
maybe?
He said nar they love it up them baby.
But then,
i have it
about 3 or 4 times a week
after the 5th time of hitting snooze,
or a heavy night on the *****,
or sometimes no beer,
even after a sonnet of Shakespeare
a sudden urge comes over me,
GET THE LAPTOP!
GET THE *******!
Then it's
Japanese teen lesbians spitting,
finger ******* wearing mittens,
****'s ******* Britions,
oap creampies
***** covered eyes
***** flicking,
extreme suction,
**** destruction,
Captain Birds Eye gobbing
Batman ******* Robin,
A ten inch plumber ******* in a kitchen sink drama
Robert de Niro unpeeling Bananarama
Marty doing the Doc
a gimped up Kirk whipping Spoc
Rita  ******* Norris
Gail licking Fizz
Sally doing Dev
and Kevin doing ki.............Kevin, get out of the room.
Back to
a **** doing a ******
a pre op pleasuring granny
two ***** one *****,
then i chuck my muck all over my tunic
flip over and continue reading The Female ******,
I'm a Schizophrenic Hypocrite,
i've gotta split.

I'd queue for you
to get a seat for you.
I'd fill pools for you
then swim for you.
I'd rhyme with words for you,
i'll find worlds for you.
I'd search for you
and peer for you.
Hope for you,
when i spoke to you.
Navigate slopes for you,
part moats for you.
Split isotopes for you.
Wrote for you
by rote for you.
Discover routes for you,
root for you.

Aware of tides
a castle fortifies
with memories of compacted glory,
splendid defiance
lost
to brine horizon,
a hailed day
turned whaling ship grey.

After a sudden migration
paint thick brushes hid
and pen lids leapt on nibs,
the sodden hydration
dry as dust.

Die a perfect death,
imprint be erased
and dust disappear,
ceasing to exist,
never missed.
No weeds to remember
a blossoming splendor,
light, unsung.
Do not die a perfect death.

Nest prepared with care;
waning winter waits
for breaking shell,
and migrates
in the air
of a fledgling spring.

Heroics, is it?
Cloak out, feeling supreme,
air billowing serene
and
beaming a dream
of you.

I wish i was the compass you never used at school,
Or the land inside your head you never tried to rule.
I wish i was the alarm clock you always put on snooze,
Or the pillowcase you drool on, when you've had too much *****.
I wish i was that video, the one you watched until it broke,
Or the grub you gorge on when you've just had a smoke.
I wish i was the money you found when out of food,
Or your translator when your words are sadly misconstrued.
I wish I was the carpet when you are scrubbing out the stains,
Or your dreams of solitude in chirping country lanes.
I wish I was the bugle for when you play the horn,
Or the nurse that shouted push, when you were being born.
I wish I was the marker pen when you’ve run out of chalk,
Or the words you use when you decide to talk.
I wish I was the keyboard when you press down too hard,
Or the place you go to after you’ve been bared.
I wish I was the stones you wear around your neck,
Or the jagged rocks which upon, your ship you wreak.
I wish I was the water that is filling up your lungs,
Or the ladder that you find when you’ve run out of rungs,
I wish I was the horizon as your walking to the hill,
Or your softest blanket and your greatest thrill.
I’m wishing all was well,
with us.

In another life
your farewell
was a dusk that born mourning,
the clatter of closing curtains
rung in the sorrow
of a sunless tomorrow.
Now there are no wailers
impaling the dawn,
but the sound of
pinned butterfly flight,
beating the silence of half-light.

Have a happy day,
Don’t let the system get you down,
Don’t get the ties tangled on your dressing gown,
Don’t worry about money there will always be some more,
Don’t fret about dying, for that there is no cure,
Don’t sit around and crave the love you think eludes,
Don’t scowl at the late bus driver, you are only being rude,
Don’t think the best of your every word, ego is a fickle friend,
Don’t horde all your drugs, you’ll always have to lend,
Don’t mock somebody because they are not the same as you,
Don’t believe in absolutes, not everything is true,
Don’t discard a smile, it’s good for you, you know,
Have a happy day and read some Edgar Allen Poe!

One last sting I have in me
before the last leaf leaves the tree,
one last kiss you have in you,
before routine runs you through.
In the summer at full strength
I terrorised the giants as they drank,
in the spring when you began,
you skipped and danced and ran.
The cold gets to us all ;
ask
the October wasp
and love in frost.

An old tree
once adored in majestic decoration
watches
a cat get fat
from a wet garden.
It feeds at different houses
but no longer a home,
shying from strokes,
used to the cold
and
forgetting love.
Barer branches see
a sudden migration
in winter years
leave a street emptier;'
no more advice on hanging washing,
papers passed on or prescriptions dropped off.
Time and season
lost.

Once water ran with life,
reflecting light,
until the sun shy.
Oceans teemed
with dreams
and landed
on a verdant shore,
sure of love.
Now arid ground
covered in contours
carved by racing streams
stares at starless skies,
awaiting rain from empty eyes.

Arriving, a frenzy of possibility
where river find seas,
the torrent in blossom
quelling winter wind
with swells of bloom;
lost too soon.
Seconds last,
comfort past
and broken compass glass.

Near a white room
i'm told,
there are days arranged
when i will miss you.
Cold, and reaching,
for shapes in space;
without home
to run back to.

Because of love a grief will happen
that will make tiny uprisings of cold
thaw
in a furnace of today.
When it ends,
unlike you it will not be gentle,
it will invade everything
and evade courtesy
and want.
But this is because of love,
and what it does.
Mast casting,
everlasting.

Next time
hatches will batten down,
slumbers start,
laces tied
and
cold proof coats dry
before loose leaves
struggle to stay.
Plans,
preparation against a season.
Until
blossom begins,
prising open hibernation curls
with the promise
of something.

After tiny explosions of green,
settlers rest,
far from frost.
Arrival untouched
by inevitable eviction
but knowing they will tumble
and become brittle,
crunched on ground
made splendid in their shadow.
Not cowering,
this time is greeted as their time,
finite and towering.

This morning
frost settled
on petals,
two seasons shared space.
Neither tussled for recognition,
knowing of thaw
and thorn fall
when rose roots rot.
Resplendent in a perfect positioning.

I really want to dream tonight,
well dream of you to be precise,
what's good for dreaming?
What lets the sandman in with ease?
lots and lots of lovely cheese!
I gorged on Stilton, Feta, Cheddar and Brie
Wensleydale  topped with Cheshire for my tea,
and i dreamt  that night,
i dreamt of you,
and it was wonderful,
so i repeated, cheese consumption again for days.
I'm that fat now i can't get out of bed
but beds the place you dance every night in my head,
more cheese please!

When you went i expected rain,
a soft smattering slowly becoming a deluge
that would not wash this day away
but mark it
for others to know an absence
had started.
The clouds didn't defer,
they parted
and the stretching sun ran through
the first hours of loss
to show it goes on
as you will go on.

You walked in August gardens,
a young lad,
sleek.
Then old, you lay
by bloom.
But,
you are in me,
not the ground,
nor the sound of tears
but the galloping brook
that ran through my years,
nourishing my roots,
one leaf strong enough to withstand
the autumn of your passing.

Tucked on a wall
spots spread spring
in the changing.
Wings wet with waning winter
never beat
but signal retreat  
of a season.
It's summer lost;
colourful defiance  
covered in silence
and last frost.

Sign in the staffroom at work.
Stay positive they said,
Stay positive I read,
Stay positive in the work you despise,
Turn a blind eye as your life goes by,
Leave your thoughts at the door,
Don’t think they implore,
Pretend there is no sun,
Look out of the window at your life on hiatus for eight hours,
Can’t get rid of the smell of this jail even after a thousand showers,
Take solace it’s for the money that I didn’t even want to use,
The books you could be reading now will only get you confused,
The songs you could be listening to now won’t speak to you anyway,
Silence your mental jukebox and toil for your pay.
Stay positive today,
The cash they flash,
I can see on my face a fiscal rash,

They can say put down your pens,
Strip your pencils of lead,
Tell creativity to slumber,
Put your canvas to bed,
But can’t stop us drawing in our heads,
Stay positive,
Like don’t start on that waitress and treat her with chagrin,
Cos she doesn’t bound over with your pie and chips with a leap and a grin,
“We’ve paid for this food, she better start smiling,”
Or the tip it is non and the polite police I’m dialing “
Have a word with yourself shes working,
And more than that she could be hurting,
Cos John in the kitchen isn’t flirting,
Or she could be wearing that frown,
Cos shes realised she only got £30.00 for her night out in town,
That’s not much when you consider the taxi back,
Plus after shes done serving you shes got dishes to attack,
But no she has a grimace,
Shes finished,
We have all felt like that, bit lonely and that,
Stay positive.
Stay positive,
Cos sometimes words cling to the air,
Like candyfloss to hair,
And birds sing for their bread while the cat bosses just stare,
At the endless charade of hierarchy,
John then Paul then George then Starky,
But star key unlocks the door to the skies,
Hope is life, I summarise,
There’s beauty in your summer eyes,
Don’t count the calories in pies,
Dietary information often lies,
Distracting from the truth with garish rides,
That only seek to compromise,
Our promise and delightful ties,
Forged from friendship not to buy,
Feel your waist and touch your thigh,
Dietary information often lies,
Love is all,
No chance to take,
No dast to cie,
Be brilliant and hear them sigh,
Stay positive.
I feel like,
Tintin going exploring,
Paths opening up, new days dawning,
I’m done with yawning it’s a waste of breath,
I don’t feel lethargic, I don’t feel bereft,
Heads down dive me a test,
About anything cos this beat in my chest,
Means I’ll beat Kasparov at chess,
Armani couldn’t make a sexier dress,
Allivate stress quicker than Prozac,
Cut the beanstalk down faster than Jack,
I can stretch my mind more than that guy on the rack,
Cos I think if our lips locked together we could throw away the lucky heather,
No more boring days of monotony,
Fingers crossed watching the national lottery,
Not just waiting around thinking I’ll chill,
But striving for the horizon over the hill,
Stay positive.
But the best thing I saw recently,
Was when I’d just finished my tea,
And I saw these two old folk who live near me,
One about 89 the other 93,
Twilight of their lives to say the least,
Real hunched and stooped over, all false teeth,
But the way they held each other’s hands the tenderness was palpable,
Cradled and soft the care undoubtable,
Cos some things are not withered by age,
They stick through this life to every page,
Decrepit vocal cords that would have a job to sing,
But there demeanor hit the high notes bellowing loves the greatest thing,
And whatever they think the next life is, earth, air or above,
At least the opening gambit can be, “we ended that one with love”
And everybody wants that, everybody,
Everybody with this life to live,
Peace be with you and bless you
And stay positive!

A boy and his tiger
went exploring in magical worlds
sharing sweet summers
when it only rained at night
and they met in dreams
of sunlight.
If everything went according to plan
they don't talk anymore
and a stuffed toy
with no memory
collects dust in August
not fireflies.
But sometimes things
don't follow trodden paths
sometimes love lasts
and doesn't go anywhere,
sometimes a boy and his tiger
are together everyday,
sometimes
things stay.