there shall be for me
prayer this evening
that manages saying little
yet filling a desire
that will not be put off.

effortless prayer
by bandy stream
beginning without plan,
simply beginning,
and joining to me,
a rough hewn faith,
smell of a wet god,
the sand the stream
springs from.

my prayer
and the creek flows,
a voiceless plea
seeking nothing.
grateful to stand
in the pale light,
empty and small
and wanted.

the prayer
of a doubting man,
casting about for answers
grown comfortable
letting question
reside elsewhere.

humbled that my prayer
joins night song,
a prayer with each
pulse of my blood,
constant until i stop praying.

I miss his golden brown eyes
Alight in the sunshine
Sparkling with traces of light

I've cried over those eyes
Whispering,
"They glow"
Tears dripping salty and bright

Every day
An overwhelming desire
Pushes me to
End it all right there
But every day
I’m dragged back
To the one reason I continue to live.

years are funny aren't they?
sometimes they gallop away quickly
dancing and singing into the sunset
other times they dawdle
slowly fading, their bag weighing them down
too heavy with memories to run

this year or year and a half I should say
has never gone slower
a long list of pain
a heavy bag
does slow me down
trapping me in the past
when all I wish for is to run away

I am not god
but I'm something similar — 𝘔𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥.

All these colours in this world,
Yet I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived,
I'm deprived —
Of the hues we once were.

when we talk about beauty,
we compare it to
flowers,
oceans,
sunsets
things we call ordinary
because they are always
within reach
i deny this,
for if continued presence
held little importance,
no one would have loved
divinity this much.