I tried a combination of hundreds of words to come up with something

And I got

Nothing

Because poems are supposed to be beautiful and intellectually stimulating

And I am

Not

"Do you write poetry
about my broken bones?
Do you find metaphors
for the way you burned
down the bridges we built?
I bet people think it’s beautiful,
I bet they think it’s poetic
the way you destroyed me.
I bet you tell them
falling in love with me
was an extraordinary artistic choice,
Destroying people
is not an art form.
Coloring people with shades and values
of black and blue does not
make you an artist.
There is nothing poetic
about reaching inside of someone
to take what they told you
never to touch.”

mind locked in fear
repeating the same
mistakes over and over
slamming into the same
dead end walls.

one day a life altering suggestion
is given, "go around the wall."
fear dissipates to make room
for something unknown;
a new regime takes over my mind
based on trust and hope that
dismantles the walls.

The wistful dance of sighs we play,
Is unlike any other.
You sigh once,
I sigh twice,
I fear I will not recover.

I wrote this for you a long time ago on a coffee stained napkin, after you left me, full of love, lingering in a cafe.

"For you, in all your follies and faults and the way they make you so perfect for me.
For you, in the moments that linger in the vehemently insignificant corners and corridors of things, as if drifted of their own grandure.
For you, for the words that spill to the floor and the brilliant way you understand the deafening silence that follows.
For you, for your supernovas and clever shades, for your daylight smiles and nighttime skins.
For you, for your familiarity and the impossible truths that stand as martyrs to say that I have loved you before.
For you, despite the treachery and quiet sinister fun of the world.
For you, for making me so terribly scared of dying."
Yet here I am, in your wake, so full of so many thoughts and demons. Know that I have died, that I have loved and lost with equal measure.

Take my breath from me
Take it all and then leave me
I'll let you do all that you want to me
But don't pretend that It's happy
It's not okay, thanks for asking though
It's hard to say you sir are an *******
But it's just me, and I'm nothing special

So I'm sorry your betrayal isn't enough
I'm sorry your fairy tale was
But mostly I'm sorry that I let you

It's okay, I don't even look anymore
It's okay, I won't even speak again
Since I can't replace what you took
Well, I shouldn't even be writing this then
Should I?
No, even you can't control me
But since you know me, you know I'll let you

So I'm sorry I wasn't perfect growing up
I'm sorry that you got everything you want
But mostly I'm sorry I let you

Now, I know it's nothing I could help
But deep down I told myself
that when you finally break down
I will be the only one who isn't around
It's kind of sad to think about
Do you deserve it?
Of course you do for all the people that you've been hurting
me included
But it wouldn't make me any better than you
would it?
No, I would be worse than
I would be cursed then
when I finally found something good I would lose them
because then I would deserve it
So right here, I'm ending this endless cycle
I'll tell you what I'll do
I'll forget you as soon as I forgive you
Because I know that you love him
And I'm only sorry I let you

Oooooh

Don't be sorry, I did it to me
Blades could only reach my skin deep
But only some can get through
And I'm sorry I let you

I still ******* love you
And I don't know what to do about it
Because whenever I start to forget
The sound of Mosquitos
Reminds me of all the whispers
I bet you don't even remember what you said to me
What you promised to me
I don't expect that from you
Monkeys could see what you were doing to me
But I guess my inferiority got to me
And I let it slide
But if strangers tell me to stay away
Should I listen?
You don't even make an effort anymore
So why should I?
Why do I still feel the need to tell you everything
Because it's occurred to me that I don't know you
I don't know if I ever did
But I know that this person you've become
The hallow person
Isn't who I wanted
And I'm a horrible person for saying that
Maybe now that nothing is clouding your judgment
You've realized you can do better
Or admitted that I can
But you were never the kind to admit defeat
There was a time that I couldn't picture my life without you
I cried to you not to go
Not to change
Not to leave me all alone
But now the best thing you can do for me
Is to never speak to me again
I never wanted to be this person
I never wanted to give up on you
But you've given me no choice
Wherever you are
Stay there
Don't come looking for me
Because there is nothing left here
For you to find