creation came into existence when the Divine
spoke the world into existence

in pueblo mythology,
Spider Woman weaves the world together
with her words.

the spoken word is a powerful thing,
words heal, break, mend, soothe, hurt, and console.

words can woven into lies that grow out of proportion,
or speak the simple honest truth.

sometimes the best action to take for me is
holding my tongue,
until i am absolutely moved by my inner convictions
to speak.  easier said than done.  

i write, and i used to preach from pulpits.  
today, i speak the truth in safe spaces to share, in my home,
to my daughter learning to speak, and mostly to my Higher Power.

it is true freedom to be able to finally after all these years,
be able to do what i say, and walk the walk.

the sun
glows warmly
even in
cold days
shining hope

the surest thing
in the world is love
freely given and freely received
but it sure feels like hell
getting there

love like grace is a free gift
I don't have to
earn it or demand it
I just have to let it be

to trend or not to trend?
who know why poems trend,
and why announcements that are not poems
end up on daily poems.

my validation and hope comes from connecting
to myself, God and others through the art of language.
I hope those who walk the lines of desperation as I have,
find some peace in reading the words of others who
have made it to the other side.

life is not all sunshine and rainbows,
but I definitely don't wake up each day
wishing I was dead like I used to.

there is hope and it all started with me admitting
my way was not working.

i am grateful today to be alive and to find hope and strength
in all of you, who are also trying find meaning and purpose
through creative expression of the written word.

thank you. love you.

my heart is broken,
and yet it still beats.

my heart slowly mends,
and begins to heal.

I wake up and get out of bed
putting one foot in front of the other.

"This too shall pass," I repeat to myself.
somehow, I move forward and embrace life

i awake to the thundering of the sky,
flashes of light that shimmer in the sky,
and the sound of rain pouring down.

on rainy days it's hard to see and feel
that the sun shines above the skies,
behind the dreary darkness.
It's hard to remember that the rain feeds the earth
and helps things grow.

Most of my life I avoided the sadness that
I feel on stormy days, but today underneath
the sadness I can also feel a sense of excitement
for the storm to wash away the wreckage of my life
to help my heart's soil be renewed.

tickle at night
before you go to bed
laughter is best medicine
to put you to sleep
after a long day

days arise
and fall
like the
ocean waves
crashing ashore

moments of joy
wander into my life
as I cry

today I am free
to love without fear,
without hatred in my heart

today I am free,
resentments no longer bleed
into all my thoughts and actions

today I am free
to give and receive love
without expectations

Because deep in my center
I experience a loving God that
loves me today and everyday

little girl
your tiny breaths
contain the breath of life

as you doze
a whole universe inside of you
is expanding and bursting into life

I cannot shield you from
the joys and pains of life
but what I can be is a
stable and consistent
loving presence in your life

I will try to stay in the now
and not get all bent out of shape about
puttin' the fear of God in the boys and/or girls you date
for now, I will be a sane daddy that
holds you while you gently sleep

just remember when daddy gets a little crazy
I still love you

I will try to remember the same when
me and mommy stay up late at night waiting for you
hold you and soothe you as you cry out through the night
and even when you grow up and say "I hate you."
I will say "thank you. I love you."

but for now, I am glad you are just dozing in my arms
a tiny little being without a care in the world
daddy is here to change your poopy diapers
and rock you to sleep

we are strangers
yet our lives are
woven by poetry

Each day,
I will  love you
with all my heart.

i awake to
rhythm of your breath
like the ocean ebbing and flowing

i am grateful I can awake to you,
the one I love. the one I promised
among friends and help of Divine assistance
to be faithful and loving as long as I shall live

my soul melts into the ocean
and becomes one.

sometimes my feet feel so heavy
I want to give up,
then someone walks from behind
and I realize I am not walking this path alone.
somehow, I feel a little bit lighter and filled with purpose
in my step, and I catch up to the next guy and help him
get up and walk the path together.

searching for connections,
yearning for love.
Only to be alone.

O Beloved,
may my soul
trust in you.

May I walk through fear
with knowing that
You love me

a rumble in
my tummy,
joyful noise in
my heart

"I don't know" was the most
honest answer I ever gave,
when asked why I sought oblivion in a bottle.

Today I know why, I have a "God sized hole" in me,
which makes me thirsty to fill it with anything or anyone.
But that hole can only be filled by a loving Power,
a God of my own understanding.

I am not sure what God's will for me is sometimes,
but it sure isn't drinking myself to death in a basement.

I don't know if I really helped someone today,
but all I could do was share my experience
and i feel a little more free and connected.

This great unknowing is taking root
and making room for me to grow.

l     a  
o    b
v    i
e    d
      e
      s

I wait for you
always and forever,
patiently exploding inside.

my breath flows in and out
my heart drums on

i was dazed and in a fog
sometimes reality seems so unreal
am i me?  

i put one foot in front of the other
trying to fake it till i make it
pretending to walk among humans

I used to afraid of everything and everyone.                                                     Fear immobilized me.
Frozen into a paralysis of emotions and resentments.                                      I stopped growing.
I slowly started dying on the inside one day at a time.                                    I wanted to fade away.

Today, I am still afraid, but not frozen in fear.                                                   I walk towards them.
I am not alone today, and my heart fills up with hope.                                   Love guides me through,
Slowly my heart and soul is awakening on the other side.                             to a life open to the present.

starry night
shining bright
guide me
towards the
Infinite Light

i'm no longer that shy awkward kid
that walked this path 10 years ago.

                                                                           maybe a part of me will always be that kind, but today
                                                                           i'm also a man in his 30s walkin' tall.

i used to chase oblivion, because
it's all i knew how to do.                        

                                                                          i embrace peace, even at the price of boredom, and
                                                                          welcome silence even when it means being alone.

Oh Beloved ,
may my love for you grow every day.
A seed of the Divine Light that
shines brightly in the dark places of my heart.

Oh beloved!
Words of your praise
become flourishing flames
surrounding me
consuming me whole
- they Ignite my sleeping soul.

May my soul awaken with a passionate breath
and a deep thirst for your love.
let your Divine flame burn in me,
so I may share your light in this darkened world.

**The world was
Shrouded in a shadow of non-existence;
It was Your Light that illuminated
the entire Universe .
May faces of those with faith shine brilliantly,
till we reach the destination of eternal felicity.

as we cuddle for warmth
I feel your heart beating

as our hearts meet
a fire burns within
melting away my fears

your tiny breaths
are like love songs
to my heart

the summer heat is oppressive
it's so hot and humid in the south
you become drenched with sweat
just standing still

the running streams of mountain water
rushing through rocks and then crashing down on ya
the chill of the waterfall freezes the intensity of explosion
on your skin as the water beats down on ya
there's nothing like it in the world to standing underneath a waterfall

I hug the wall of stone and feel the cold slimy surface
and my hands run through the moss growing on the side

what an amazing reprieve on a hot summer's day
God bless the mountains of North Carolina
God bless Appalachia
God bless this place called
home

home of my heart
where living waters flow

welcome little one to life
may love blossom in you

the world quietly welcomes the dawn
darkness before the sunrise
all is still

as I wait patiently in silence
my heart wakes up to a
new day

my heart leaps as you sleep
the night's silence envelopes us
and we are left with the sound of
our hearts beating

you turn and move while you sleep
and I lie still on my back like a corpse
love fills both our hearts even in slumber
and all is right with the world in this single moment

I wish I could carry this love and warmth
out into the world of chaos and change
and maybe I can, because while my love sleeps
my heart awakens

the breeze whispers
sweet love songs
and lifts my soul.

my mind is a wasteland of negative thoughts
self-pity, resentment, and fear-- they bury themselves
deep in my mind slowly decomposing, but sometimes are
reborn when I feed them

I would be consumed by dark self destructive thoughts
that would eat me away from the inside, if it was not for my heart sorting and purifying my negative thoughts into good intentions that grow into thoughtful actions to help others

I always thought I could think my way out from the hell I created, but what really freed me is allowing my heart to sing

I needed the help of others who survived their own wastelands
to believe my song was worth singing, their voices carried me
until I found my own melody bubbling inside of me

my heart sings to remember not to loose hope, and reach out to others

there are days where I feel pointless,
even a bit sad that my poems are
merely a drop in a vast ocean of
thoughts and expressions

why bother writing and sharing?

I sometimes feel insignificant,
and compare myself to others
and feel like I fall short.

there will always be people who write more clearly,
more beautifully with clear imagery,
but none writes like me.
I write, because I must.
sometimes the words build up inside of me,
and if I don't let it out it will slowly eat me up from the inside.

I write and share, because even though my words are like a drop
in a vast sea, at least like water I am connected to others by sharing a little snap shot of my life, thoughts and feelings.

I write, because it reminds me that I am worthy and loved enough to allow the beautiful act of creation to work within
me.  

I am part of the process of life, I am part of the whole, I am part of the "We."  

I am not alone.

Breathe in.            
                        The cold air burns as it travels
                                               down my lungs.

Breathe out.
                        The hot air warms the little spot
                                             where my nose and mouth meets.

The sharp crisp cold air
embraces me like a long lost
friend desperate to reconnect.

My warm heart greets the morning
with love, and joy I get to
breathe in and breathe out
one more day.

my thoughts wander and meander
into wistful daydreams of days longs past

would I still be me, if my choices lead me down
other paths?

would I still be writing these words on a page,
if I was born into a different family?

then like an ice cold water to my face,
I awake to the reality of my life.
wistful dreams are nice to wonder about,
but I'd rather live in here and now.