Sadness
An empty and physical being
It chokes her while letting her breathe
But when she goes for that breath
Her hearts aches with pain
That pain she feels
Is a result of her own judgemental insecurities
And The shameful lies that surround her
She asks herself why
Her smooth dark skin asks why
As The pure silver blade cuts through her skin like butter
the crimson blood seeps from the thin open slits in her wrist
The feeling that fills her heart is no long pain
But crimson red guilt and resentment
a new form of herself emerges
Like the open sea she is filled with dirt but all she sees is the purest blue
She tells herself she is okay
She tells her mind she is okay
Her friends fawn over her contagious laughter
that fills a room like a strand of golden sunlight
But little do they know she is infected with a parasite  
That causes her to exchange her own blood for happiness
Sadness
An empty and physical being
It chokes her while letting her breathe
But when she goes for that breath
Her hearts aches with pain
Sadness

I’m fine.
Really, I promise I’m okay,
See I’m smiling,
So please get on with your day.

I’m fine.
I can see the worry in your face,
See I’m smiling,
I’m really not your pity case.

I’m fine.
I’m really not that sad,
See I’m smiling,
So how can it be that bad.

I’m fine.
These are tears of happiness,
See I’m smiling,
I’m no damsel in distress.

I’m fine.
There’s no problem here,
See I’m smiling,
But I could disappear.

I’m fine?
I’m not sure anymore,
My head filling with doubt,
I am bruised inside and out,
I feel like I’m worth nothing,
And nothing anybody says,
Can get these stupid thoughts,
Out of my stupid head.

I’m not fine.
Not even okay,
Can someone help me please,
I can’t do this by myself,
I can’t get out of here alone,
I need a helping hand,
But I can’t ask for help.
I can’t scream!
I can’t shout!

See I’m smiling...
I’m fine.

Every time someone
Tells me that they
Know what it feels like
It frustrates me
It feels like
No one gets it
No one really listens.

You're not like me
You have no idea what
I'm going through.

Those times
Hours, minutes
That you put in;
All that effort and energy
Wasted for nothing.

Maybe it's because
I don't see it
I don't see the pay-off.
The results seem to
Be diminished.
Finished.

It just seems useless
Worthless
Like there's no point
In telling you more.
My mind and my pride
They just shatter
Like there's no one
Holding me up
No one beside me.
My trust just vanishes.

I will **** you with a metaphor
My feelings censored
Behind beautiful words.

I dare not say it to your face
The euphemism
When I am burning with anger.

Toying with the void
Here I concoct
The right expression;

My sweet weapon
Retort with an oxymoron.

Then nothing; no paradox or pun
I am even at a loss for a rhyme.

For when our eyes meet
It is poetry I read,
Without a word
We say it all.

All things fade
Rain washes away the deeds done
Somewhere on the earth, in the trees
On a winding path, where the fireflies
Like failing Christmas lights flicker.