I had no idea
That tasting you
Your lips
Would turn me
That a new world
Would appear
And you would take,
Take me down
And I would never,
Ever come back
Drowned in you
The depth of your soul
The beautiful chasm
Between your thighs
Your thick voice
Warmed my heart
And I would always,
Always remember that

Some girls get personally offended that I don't wear thongs to hip-hop class
Girls
girls
Girlworld

I live in a small town with even smaller minded people
Where the women never blossom into swans
Just fairly racist chickens
And the men stick around long enough to wean their boys on alcohol and guns and then they leave with the son's respect for women
And their daughters hope for men

I want to paint my room
Yellow, or gray, or blue
Anything but this purple
I want to paint over the galaxy I wrote for you

I wear boxer shorts to bed
They're stolen from the first time I laid my hand on a woman
The first time I tasted alcohol
She was wearing them when I tasted her
I took them to remind myself
These things actually happen
That I am allowed to feel
That my wild side need not be confined

When I was young I fought so hard to be living
At least, I thought I did
But I didn't really
It's impossible to fight smoke
Or cigar ash
Or shoelaces
Or the rainbow liquid dripping out of the bottom of the blue suburban

The truth is
And has always been
I'm not sure of what I am supposed to be fighting
Is it the girls?
The money?
The standards?
The lonely?
There is only one thing I will ever be sure of about life

And that is that now,

I enjoy it.

I wanted to let you know
That even though you're gone
I will always love you
And always be thinking of you

I wanted to let you know
That I do not hate you
For anything you ever said
Or anything you ever did

I wanted to let you know
That you're always welcome home
That I will make coffee just for you
And that I will give you something sweet

Yes, I just wanted to let you know
That I hold no malice towards you
That you are free to do as you please
Even if doing so does not involve me

But I wanted you to know
That if you ever change your mind
That I will welcome you back with open arms
And pick up like we never left off

oh this is fun
one and done
it means nothing
just an inner warmth
you tease me
and i tease you
how talented we are
making each other
feel so special
we have no intention
of taking it further
to bed or to alter
but rather
we found a way
to pass the time
and pass the time
we shall

It was nice meeting you.

I bet you didn’t know you’re the first guy I ever tried to hit on. I bet you didn’t know I prepped for this conversation for a week. I bet you didn’t know how deep my heart sunk when I saw you go upstairs with another girl.

Thank you for being the first guy who’s ever flirted with me. Thank you for the pink gin. Thank you for the hand you placed on my back when you hugged me goodbye.

It was nice talking to you.

I know you falling on me was a move, even though you said it wasn’t. I know sitting and listening to the story of how I met J was a move. I know you like L. I know deep down she probably likes you too, I did.

It was nice that you didn’t message me after the party.

But I bet you didn’t know that I would of loved you with my whole heart. That I would of wrote you love letters and made you mixtapes of songs that reminded me of you. Thank you for making me realise that the right guy will come along, but that guy isn’t you. I know I’ll always be that girl at the party who’s name you can’t remember, or face you can’t place but I don’t lie.

It was nice meeting you.

I hope one day we’ll meet again.

— p.d.e