People used to tell life is amazing,
But they never told me how hard to have one.

People used to tell life is full of surprises,
But they never told me that some are not worth the price.

People used to tell life is a roller coaster,
But they never told me what to do when you reached the end.

People used to tell enjoy life to the fullest.
But I never did until I was running out too late.

I want to shout until my ears hurt.
I want to curse until I ran out of words.
I want to run until I can't stand on my feet.
I want to stab myself until I can no longer breathe.

I want to be back to my own self,
I want to be free.
But everytime I try.
I can feel your hands' tight grip.

I've been depressed for three years now.
I've been suffering for sleepless nights.
I've been seeking for help a lot of times,
But no one dared to notice my cry.

They knew me as a strong girl,
The one who always smile.
But this time I know I'm afraid.
Afraid of what I can do to myself.

Three months from now I could be in my chair typing,
Three months from now I could be in a room teaching
Three months from now I could be in the road doing interview,
Or three months from now I could be in your arms saying I do.

There are endless possibilities that could happen,
But before that three months finally end,
Let me first savor my last college year,
Typing a poem while drinking a beer.

I miss how you stare at me after our fight,
I miss how you whispher sweet nothings just to make me smile,
I miss how your hand draw beautiful art,
I miss how you lips touches mine.

These thoughts of yours had made me insane,
For thinking that you're still here breathing.
If only I can shout your name,
And whisper I love you and Happy Birthday My Man.

how does one word
hurt much?

Do you even need help
in carrying
the load,
the burden you
kept,
and the life
you're trying to
bury?

SOMETIMES answering one question
is just asking too much...