How long has she sat there, jam spread across her face?  I just looked
in!
The ice cream, there in the freezer has two deep finger marks dug in
it.
I don't even have to guess.  I saw, in the middle of the night,
By the light of the fridge a little girl who thinks no one sees.

Having been caught she says she didn't do anything.  I know what I saw.
"It's all right sweetheart, because it is all yours.  Whenever you want.
Anytime."  I buy her any and everything I think she might want.
I just want her to be as happy as is possible, feel secure, and loved.

I lead her to the bathtub, instruct her to clean, knowing
That I will have to wash that sweet face that I love so dearly.
After all, she made cobblers, cakes and pies for us when we visited.  
She wiped my face, washed my bottom, did my precious, Granny.

I thread the silken thoughts and notes
Weaving as I go like whispers
In a darkened room, in and out
The phrases go like shadows
Like broken lullabies sung off-key
I search for something no longer in me
Then, rock myself to sleep.

1: steadfast in affection or allegiance: Loyal//a faithful friend
2: firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty
3: given with strong assurance: Binding//a faithful promise
4: true to the facts, to a standard, or to an original// a faithful copy

Choose the quality for yourself and in others.

You were ever strong, ever true,
Daddy. That was the man I knew.

You were never gone,
At least never for too long.

Daily, work did take you from home
Yet, once your hard work was done

Without fail, you always headed home.
You were steady, you were brave;

You were there for us in many ways;
With us until the day

A ******* limo drove you away.

A fearful thing
Has taken wing
And flown straight
Into my heart

The place it pierced
Will forever sting
A bruising wound it creates
Will always leave its mark

And my heart will never heal

It is feeding time.  Time to push the hay
from the back of the truck.  Whistling,
calling for the cows to come up.

I see the morning mist among the cattle,
smell the scent of pine hanging in the crisp air,
in my heart and mind, I want to be there.

The forested pastures, the open grazing fields
wrap around my soul memorized comfort, where
I can reach out to touch and to feel.

As for me, that place will always be there,
yet, it is gone.  Gone for many a year.  All gone,
the pond dried, the forest overtook the fields.

Gone is the truck, the hay, the cattle too.
Yet, my memory is a place where all it lives on.
And memories turn my thoughts to you,
- as they always do;

Beautiful you.  You are gone, too.

My wounds were generally not self-inflicted.
Most represent lessons learned, many from people that I love, still.
Now that I am older, at times, I will locate the scars,
Seeking them out, reaching into uncomfortable regions
To feel the now smooth flesh-covering,
Wrinkles in the brain.

A female is very different than a male
In human physical makeup.
There is no shame in that.
It does not need to be defended,
But it does call for an explanation.

Compare: Can the rugged bear or stallion
Sprout wings and fly?
They were made to plod the terrestrial,
Earthbound;
Their brutish power, ever recognized.

Throw a stone and you get a mere snort
As they decide if you should live or die.
But here is where the weaker sings.
The bird, that lilting tiny powerhouse,
With its fragile hollow bones was made to fly.

I'm addicted, an addict in the night.  A rift, a fault, a weakness,
Something makes me fall.  I crack.  

So sad to be so intelligent and, yet, to be so stupid.  

In the middle of night you say to me, that "it just is."  I am blind and I am deaf.  
I cannot know what "it is" if I cannot see it, feel it.  

It just isn"t...O, love!

I once knew a brilliant young man who put a piece of wood under his chin
And played beautiful music.  

I wish that you were him.

I'll give you fifty shades of Love
In many brilliant hues

The beauty of a love,
Which is honest and true

My love is unfettered
It has no need to be bound

It reaches through the mind
Until the heart is found

Can you not feel my happy mouth speak?
Reach with your fingertips.  Seek!

Until all the world falls into exquisite darkness
You will remain my spark.

The velvety richness of you next to me
Is like trying to fill a thimble with the deep blue sea.

It is too much.

A Hunter's moon is rising.
And it struggles to shine.

Out of a ladened sky
Descends rain as clouds cry.

Though, I will not fret, nor fear
What the night might try to hide.

For the brightness and beauty
Of which you now emit

Far outshines any sun
And all my worries quit.  

You my love are the only one
Who can fill my sky tonight.

Cultivated soil
Rich in love
That first seed
Planted
We will never
Be the same

With a soil
So rich
We plant again
Our harvest
Was precious
As we reaped

This fruitful
Field of ours
Thus became
Complete
We will never
Be the same

We are a garden

Watching you
My checks still flush bright red,
Fading into pink. Do you notice
When the vein at the base of my throat
Pulsates with excitement?
Or when my green eyes brighten
And glisten with love?
Do you see me anymore?

Fleeting moments which cannot be captured,
Never really possessing true permanence.
Those Haiku-like moments that can only  
Be experienced but never touched by hands
But remembered within the poetry of a mind.

Fleeting moments cannot be captured
Never really possessing true permanence
Haiku-like moments experienced
But never touched by hands
Mere reflected glints on a heart
Recalled within the poetry of a mind

And in a moment, it is done
It has passed like the rising of a sun
Like a season full-blown or a flower
In its last few hours

Like a frozen waterfall
Or a stopped river impeded
Or an ocean held within bounds
Only the mind can replay its reel

Misses Pifflewhiff was a strange old gal;
She was away with the butterflies
Most of the time.

(I know what you are thinking.)

No, she never went with the fairies.
No fairies for her.  She preferred butterflies.
And on their wings, the old gal would fly;

In her imaginative way of thinking.

Now is the time to
"Break glass in case of emergency"
Anybody got a hammer?

Fling back your sling-backs
To me!  Ain't nothing gonna bar
Your unbridled joy of runnin'
Through that cool grass.

You shouldn't long for the past,
- They say
But, I long for it anyway

I close my eyes, drift away, not good
- They say
Not worried, I do it anyway.

I  see it is only normal, it's okay
- No matter what they say
So go ahead, just drift into times past

As long as you do not stay

There is gold in the wings,
This Gossamer, which floats and stings
Hanging as if on invisible strings

Suspended in nothing but air it seems.
My mind tries to catch the wonder of this thing
But it sips then zips and always eludes me.

I thought that I could fly
So I stepped off the edge
Falling, falling, falling,
Into his big, strong arms.

I didn't know, didn't look too close
To see, he was standing on a higher ledge.
Then we were falling, falling,
In love, which crashed in pain.

Did he mean to project his pain?
Or find someone to use for blame?
Did he think that he could share
And his pain would just stay there?

We were young, foolish, and both blind.
So, we flew on, clinging to each other,
You, ******* my sanity dry all the while
And I thought my love could heal you.

Here is a truth when flying through clouds:
The thing is that an addict will
Always let you down in time
No matter how hard they try not to.

The swallows fly out to catch the little eddies of spring;

I close my eyes to the sun as the clouds part above
And let the warmth gloriously take me.
Days, weeks, months, my balcony of interaction;
Lone people occasion to pass by, my chance to greet
High above the dog walkers, trippers to the community bin.

What is isolation if you allow your soul to fly out with the swallows?

Winter leaves in its wake its own form of beauty,
But eventually it gives way to the greening of spring.
And birds will sing, and flowers will bloom.
What of our love?

My knight rides out seeking me to greet
I run to him as though on winged feet

The bright morning mist gathers
As we in each other's arms shelter

Though day begins to burn away
Let time weld us together, pray

And our love eternal will stay
That never should it fade

To remain embraced forever
From this very day, and stay this way

To remain embraced forever
And stay this way from this very day

For the sake of good fun
She came along, and
You decided she would be
A sort of a plaything
Slipped onto a keyring
And fondled when bored

I come to you with a heart like glass.
You choose, the velvet box or the hammer.

She kept her freak hidden
Well out of sight
In the back of her closet
And only let it out at night
To crawl up on her bed
And climb into her head
Then it would
See through her eyes

All free-born and wild

Into field stride
Nature's child
Barefoot run
- a peach
- a pear
- a plum

Bird song
Insect hum
Orchard fun for each
- a pear
- a plum
- a peach

One for each
For bird and bug
And for the child dear
- a peach
- a plum
- a pear

Into fields where
They can eat
Their fill of some
- peach
- pear
- plum

All free-born and wild

Into field stride
Nature's child
Barefoot run
- a peach
- a pear
- a plum

Bird song
Insect hum
Orchard fun
- a pear
- a plum
- a peach

One for each
For bird and bug
And for the child
- a peach
- a plum
- a pear

Into fields where
They can eat
Their fill of
- peach
- pear
- plum

I am fresh out of love for you,
You who have crushed it from me.
You pecked a hole in my heart
Until my soul all drained away.
I am fresh out of love.

I peeked in on you this morning.
You were curled into the prettiest little shape.  
Your long hair lay around you.

And, I thought, "She looks just like she did at age 10 or 11.  
Just like in that photo of her that I cherish.
So lovely, so precious.”

What could extinguish
The last glowing coal of love
Whose embers still faintly cling
To that flaming life it once had.

And who would deny it life?
I cannot, and so I shelter it
From rain, through storms,
With gentle breaths, I keep it

Forever burning in my heart.

I am half-sick of shadows.
There, up there is my light
Where meteors shoot,
Where clouds form,
Where lightnings strike,
And stars come and go.

For beth fwoah dream Boleyn

The pale moon, shrunken
And as faint as a pencil sketch

Shines down with sly smile
Looking over the forest below.

She is ill in her waning phase, but
Is comforted knowing she will wax.

Wild nettles of the night rise up
Wrapping her burden in mist.

The tides listen as she commands
Their rhythms and they distils their vapor.

Her victories are unfurled of wrappings
As they stretch out like ribbons of roads.

We are all puppets and go as directed.

Classical Dictionary:
Scrapbook
Peaceful
Lady
Adore
Ballet
Embellish
Fondness
Balloon
Ephemeral
Love

Scrapbook, a Poem
The Peaceful Lady Adored Ballet
She often Embellished her Fondness
For Balloons for they were as Ephemeral
As Love

In human relationships we start out on the teeter-totter of a fulcrum.  When one side of the relationship does something painful that affects the person at the opposite end of this balancing act the tetter-totter can become a slide.  At which point you must choose either to jump off or work harder to keep your balance so as to not go down the slide into anger and bitterness.  You may need to remove a harmful person from your life, jumping off the slide, as it were.  However, in life few things, if any, are worth punishing yourself with bitterness.  Yes, I said punishing yourself, because when a person spirals into anger and bitterness it is self-harm.

In the little house at number 23
On the street lined with willow trees
A garden wall surrounds and shields me.

But I do have my welcomed guests.
Welcomed dear and lovely bees;
Who I never consider an invasive pest.

O, I truly do love them the very best!
As I observe their every move, you see;
I love them for their beauty, and for their industry.

A garden is like a book of poetry
Peopled with lovely flower-folk.
O, if they only could walk,
You'd imagine they were dancing
As does a poem in rhythm's meters
Dances along, one-two, one-two
In a sort of singsong.

What do I do
When what I suspect
Is true, really is true?
Do I cut all ties with you?
Will I peer through the fog
To peek at the truth?
Or pretend through blurry eyes?

Like petals of flowers
Unfurl, expose hidden
Secrets within beauty
Fresh and newly born
Free from harm
Inclusive hearts
Are blooming
Opening world views
Reaching out to know
And to hold
Hand upon hand
Upon all lands
In a brave world
Love will grow
You are my family
It is all that I know

As I age my imperfections no longer
slap me in the face,
Now they only pat my bottom.

Life is kinder, gentler.
Why is that so?
Because I don't have to care

Unless I really want to.

Relic
Artifact
Buried

These are words that describe my love
And you.

Their music surely shaped my life
As I grew into adulthood.
She loves you, yea, yea, yea, while
We drifted in yellow submarines
Within psychedelic seas.
The split that ripped our hearts apart
Screamed that he was dead, but
I can still hear blackbirds
Singing in my head.

I reach up with fingertips
And gently touch your lips.
You, hovering above,
I beneath.

A myth I choose to kiss
As your tears drop
Into the palm of my hand.

And I gave myself to you
As our window on this time
Closed like a precious capsule.

Your heart opened wide,
Your gentle concern
Enveloped my heart forever.

Give me your eyes
In love, look solely at me
Give me your body, wholly,
To be part of mine

Your hands are mine
For only my caresses.
Your feet are mine, also,
To walk straight back to me.

I give unto you the "all" of me,
All who I am or might be.
All that I become is yours
And you are my gift, as well.

You cannot straighten out a warped past
You can only choose the straight paths,
Which are now ahead of you.

Spring is all, "Here I am!" in blooming color.
Summer is like, "I'll warm your bones as no other."
Autumn comes and brings the gold
As it waits for winter to unfold.

I carry these memories
- in a golden vessel

For each of you to sup
Take this cup, drink it up

And be imbued with
The sweetness of life & love