I have tied heart strings around my neck
and hoped the blurred vision of my
somewhat self destructive nature
would take away the optic curses
that disallow me to see what I cannot heal.

Sharpened question marks
hook into the aged rings in my flesh.
Left out for too long; forgotten.
He tries not to cry as
suspended interrogatives pull at limbs
and hang body over a myriad of "who?" or "why?"
(I forget which).

I am both the antique puppet and the
incandescent hole in the puppet master's chest,
taught to love my wooden creators
and fall in love with anything
that helps me forget about the skeletons
within my bloodstream.
Pull my strings.
Watch me come undone.

I'm not sure what to say as I pen this down
What I am feeling is making me drown
In a sea of emotions, of feeling
I no longer know with what I am dealing
I want to tie heavy rocks to my feet
So I don't float up from under the sea
Symbols of life don't help me
Symbols of love, regrets fill me
A sea, empty and full, of feeling
A darkness destructive and unyielding
A blackness that fills me whole, contaminating everything that it please
Even the bit of relief I get from writing hasn't set me free
I'm going on my own, the sea being my coffin, and the darkness my company in this unending dream
I'm not even bothering to fight
*I've already lost the battle and the war

In the morning, when I’m still in my dreams
I wake to you, tangled in my sheets

I picture us like this forever and on
I’ll be the night sky, you’ll be the stars
I know I'm young but, the world could be ours

Can’t you see

Dear paris,
you come and you go
It’s been months now
and I can’t let you go

I can’t believe that im stuck like this
I know im young, but its me that you’ll miss

Can’t you see

In this nightmare of within and without
Its sin and its doubt
And its you

I'll be the window in your room
I can show you outside but I can't push you through

Can’t you see

When I close my eyes I see us there
With neither doubt or worry
Neither name nor despair

The only thing that saves me
is the hope I hold within
I’ll see you in my sleep, love
I’ll stay that way to win

Can’t you See

In the morning, when I’m still in my dreams
I’ll wake to you, tangled in my sheets