I try
I try to sleep at night
without remembering what he felt like
I try
I try to make you happy
even though im drowning
I try
I try to do what you did for me
reassure you I'm not lying
but I'm not sure I'm telling the truth
I try
I try to believe
but time after time my faith fails me
silent prayers
unanswered
innocence shattered
I keep getting madder
but i try
to make it right
I try to forget my past
I try
to help you to
But I dont know what i am suppose to do

She was 5 years old
her name was Isabel
She knew me very well
everyday we played in the park
and we made up a hand shake too
It went
I dont wana do the dishes
I dont wanan clean my room
all I wanna do is be here with you
then we would hug
and smile all day long
but that didnt last very long
my father told me to watch out for her she was bad
I didnt undrstead that she was the only friend I have very had
My dad insited that we never speak
he tried to make sure we would never meet
But one day in the cafetiria She smiled at me
then we became best friends almost instantly
we Did everything together
one day I invited her over so my dad can see
that she is an amazing person to me
and she is a lovely young lady
that was when i turned 13
she was always ther for me
Then I came to school with bruises all up my face
she aksed what happened to me
That was the first time I told her about my daddy
she threatened to call the police
she said that it was not safe or healthy
that its not normal to be beat
everyday
for nothing
that dads should punch their wives and cheat behind there back
she said good men dont do that
and I believed her
so just so my dad could hear I brought her to dinner one day
she didnt wanna go but I insisted it was ok
When she came over my dad got mad
the maddest I have ever seen him
then she saw my father
He punch her and kicked her then he grab a knife
I told him to stop I screamed
but i was to afraid to fight
to afriad to fight
then she stop moving and layed there still
everything was silent
she was dead
dead
my only friend
THen I grabbed the knife and stabbed my dad in the head
I screamed
NO MORE
no more
Then it wasnt just Isabel that layed dead on the ground
No one made a sound
my mom just stood there staring at me
Then I realized I just lost my family
I killed my daddy
I did worse then I could ever believe so I picked up the knife and stabbed my mommy
I didnt want her to have to live knowing that I killed her family
then I took the knife and stabbed me
That was the end of my family

I will scream

I will die

I will jump off a building to make it all right

to fix everything that is wrong

but i cant

i cant help you

I cant do it a lone

I kills me from the inside

when i start to see your pain on the outside

and now the only thing i can do is cry

I cant make it all right

like you did for me

your a natuaral therapist

while i am nothing

I will scream

I will break

I cant fix you

with all my might

I cant make it alright

Im sorry i cant make these wrongs go out of sight

Im sorry i cant give my life to save yours

Im sorry i cant save you like you saved me

I want you to find help

No matter how hard i try

and i plead

to God

you see i stopped praying about me

a long time ago

but i have been praying for you

since we where kids i have wished you alright

you see i told u i barely knew your name

but thats i lie

since the first time i saw you

I hoped what i saw in your eyes was lies

but as i always do

when i see pain i run the other way

i hate it when i love someone

who i cant save

instead of helping people

all i do is watch as they break

there are people i have tried to save

but no matter what happens i cant make it ok

I never stopped praying

I pray that you are ok

but when you need someone to comfort you

i dont know the words to say

and its horrible for me

to watch people break

when i know they could of been saved

but not by me

im sorry

im draggin you down with me

I dont wanna hurt you

but i dont wanna die alone