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Before spring, near Grimsby, ditches run clean like trout streams,
Our vines are gray. They will be pink next, like flushed, excited skin.  
In March there is the flatness that is a big part of trouble.
Anthony's sisters are helping him scrub his apartment.

He was sick all winter. They raise his laughter like neighbours raise a burned out barn.
He had made a good start. The therapy.
He says now, "I wasn't so much sick as sad all the time."
The pills ended the depression. You can wish that life was never mechanical.

Smell of hot vinegar in the coffee-maker, smells of pine oil and beer.
Brock University jackets, damp curly hair, his sisters
Wiping their hands on sweatshirts, the open window,
His bedroom. Anthony clears books from the sills and cleans and shines the windows.
There are wicker baskets for their picnic and for his laundry.

I always wanted to know, what is consecration?
(Here is a scrap of his poetry:
"... ******* the colour of a driftwood campfire.")
His sisters laugh to think of a girl in the apartment.
The ***** clothes are gone. He's got clean denims and hiking boots.

Laughter, beer and young music,
Bread and stew and pickles and heavy  brown two liter bottles of beer
On the white wooden kitchen table where he hopes to write.
His father's pickup truck is in the yard, its bed full of garbage.

With cleaning any good thing can happen. The sisters feel it too.
I didn't know what consecration meant. They joked
That he could have a girl up there when they were done.

    
                                  Paul  Anthony Hutchinson
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Chloe B
I want you to see my pain.
To feel my pain.
To be my pain.
But I also want you to save me.
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Chloe B
Blade
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Chloe B
It stares at my face.
I glance at it.
It tells me to pick it up.
I do as I'm told.
It tells me that I will be okay,
but only if I slide it across my skin.
I don't know if I should say yes or no so I back away,
until it comes back and haunts me the next day.
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
David
Run
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
David
Run
Take
My hand
And run
Run fast
Run long
With me
Run
With me
From this
This world
Of sadness
Brimming
With heartbreak
Flooding
With tears
Take my hand
And run.
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
David
Cry
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
David
Cry
Cry
With me
Because I
Need company
Hold me
As I
Break down
As I
Collapse
Under the pressure
Cry
So I
Can comfort
You
And ignore
My own
Pain.
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
David
Btw
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
David
Btw
I'm dying
Inside
Btw.
Totally shattered
Crumbling
To bits
And you're
Not here
You're not answering
Btw
I knew this would happen
If I told you
I knew it would affect you
And now
When I need you
You're gone
I'm not mad
Btw
Just sad.
I understand
I just wish
I hadn't
Told you.
it's been a journey hasn't it?
fascinated by differences that revealed our deepest secrets
that we told no soul yet felt consoled by the meanings
of each others thoughts, opinions, ideals; now I'm dealing
with this crazy sense
that I'll never find anything as fascinating again.

I admit, I was a little over my head
trying to be Superman
tackling problems I didn't even understand
I was your biggest fan, of your ideals
the way you could comprehend
what I tried to explain
when I didn't think anyone could or can.
It's bothering me
that you might not comprehend again.

I guess it's on me
for being too blind to see
that we couldn't be on the same team if I tried chasing a different dream
that I believed was the key for me.
Now I'm sitting here hoping the combination is correct
"only time will tell"

well
while time drifts us afar
just know I'm wishing we'll float back together
some way, somehow
and if you comprehend this
I'll know the magic hasn't ended
between us... whatever it is.
So
until our friendship is mended
I'll be in the distance
my copacetic presence
waiting for you to become my yin again.
                                  

                                                    -*Me
hm.
p.s. it's not a love note
p.s.s. yes it is
So many words for you.
But I'll keep them to myself... wrong time, wrong place,
With a mindset that'll leave behind a bitter taste.
This winter was indeed the coldest, showing no mercy
Hopefully the new leaf relieves me of my duty.
It kills me, but I hope it's true.

So which one of us really played the fool?
You broke them, and since you broke them I decided to bend them rules.
Are we both wrong, remember the song, is the answer yes or... is that wrong, too?
It makes me really wonder what was really taboo.

Every word saved for you...
Has been picked from an unknown, uncharted void.
Each of these dead petals I'd rather set fire to
And erase any trace of this little twist in fate.
Wait, would I, could I really say, stay day to day that way?
**** me first, before that's true.
originally entitled "Words"
hit
I'm sick and ******* tired of being treated like glass about to break.
I want you to hit me.
I can't.
Hit me.
I can't hit you.
Yes you can. Hit me.
I can't hit a girl.
Oh just grow a pair and do it!*
His hand made shattering contact with my cheekbone.
And he started to cry
I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry
He was kissing my face and hands over and over
so sorry so sorry so sorry
I kissed him hard and the world refused to slow on its axis no matter how much we wanted it to.
this is autobiographical
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