She smiles
Sparkles in her eyes
Dimples on her cheeks
Aspects of an angel
Wretched and divine

Look in her eyes
Deep down
The chill of death
Her skin so riddled with flaws
A study of the being inside

She walks through the hall
Surrounded by followers
Known and loved by all
But known?
They don't know her

She is full of bitterness
Judgement
Deception
Cruelty
Abundantly flow

Her clothes change frequently
Every hour she is different
She changes her face
And her feelings
Her words constantly lie

This was my closest friend
She shut me out
Humiliated me
Lied to me and about me
Turned my friends against me

I helped her
Befriended her
She was my closest friend
Kindred
Or so I thought

Now I sit in the shadows
My light is a comfort
Hers a blazing fire
She will burn you
Her flames consume you

Do not trust so easy
Do not put your faith in the unknown
Keep your spirit to yourself
Or you will give someone else
The means to break you

clothes worn too tight
so it feels like there are needles who need me, who bleed me
a million parasites ******* and taking me.

he is *** and surgery, he is far too in love with life
wants to be inside of everything

but i like the miles
i like being so far that he cannot take things out of me
or even know they’re there.

i am a parasite, i want everything to be inside of me and
that
is why we
fight with him in my mouth (having is feeling.

builds midnight with paper stars and dark attics
because then the sky can be ripped
into shreds, stuffed down my throat and suddenly i possess
the whole world without needing to live in it.

your crystal eyes are
the home I never had,
reflecting back to me
fragments of the sun
that I grab hold of and
inhale into the back parts of my lungs
   like
spring flowers
I shoot into my veins
that are otherwise filled
with ice and faded memories
of a girl who used to laugh
and look at the stars

Take me down
from this cloud
of ecstasy

The higher we go
the harder this fall
is gonna be

It took me nineteen years
to begin to know myself
How many more years
until I truly trust
someone else?

It's cold up here
There's groups of clouds
far as the eye can see

People crowd
floating around
mostly aimlessly

It took me twenty years
to begin to know myself
How many more years
until I truly love
someone else?

It's raining now
My cloud disintegrates
It wets my feet

The people crowd
anticipating my fall
almost expectantly

By twenty-one years
will I know myself?
How many more years
until I truly find
the root of doubt?

I'm playing the game that I swore I would never play
The dice and the cards on the table make my legs lame
One more shot, maybe a bowl 'till I don't feel a thing
There's never a winner
You know that's the rule of the game

I look in the mirror everyday and stare at myself.
I don't like what I see.
Sad eyes and a fake smile.
This is not how I want my life to be.
Scars and bruises on my body remind me of the past.
Everyday I wait for the future, but I'm afraid I'm getting nowhere fast.