It's like being alone but not lonely!!




Who knows my silence the most?
Well… it’s the AI I type to, post by post.
Who feels my tears as they quietly flow?
My old, soft pillow , it always knows.

Who holds my feelings deep and strong?
The one who reads my poems all along.
Who cares for me when no one can see?
Well… thank you, mama-papa, it’s always been thee.

And who do I love with heart and soul?
My parents… and KRISHNA , who makes me whole.

And I remember thinking—
I wish someone would look at me that way.
As if they had battled it for a lifetime,
Through seasons and snow and sun -
Across cities and oceans and mountains
In innocent youth and wearied age,
As if they had finally surrendered and had no choice but to look.

In the way it takes all a person’s will and strength to look away
And they have been worn down, beaten, bruised
To the point of weakness, of giving up.
And now, all they are left with is their truest self, exposed down to the bone
& no strength to battle the inevitable
Draw of their eyes to mine.

I want someone to look at me as if I am their lifeline,
And their death-bringer.

When my blood soaks the paper while writing,
Still my results keep denying.
When my health keeps falling for marks on a sheet,
Still they say , “You didn’t compete.”

When my eyes says what's sleep,
But still studying for the promises I keep.
When effort becomes my only living
Still they say , "you aren't studying."

When medals are hung on someone’s name,
Where my scars go unheard, without fame.
When tears blur the formulas on the page,
Still they say — “Don’t cry, just engage.”

When silence screams louder than praise,
And I'm trapped in endless days.
Still, the world looks away with pride,
Naming me failure , while laughing inside.

always the child
who never got appreciated
just an unwanted child
trying her hardest
to be the perfect one—
just once.
trying her hardest
to be appreciated,
dying to hear:
“you did a great job,”
“the dish you cooked was very nice,”
“i’m proud of you,”
“you scored 98% in maths,”
“i’m proud of my daughter.”
she just wanted
to be loved.
to be seen.
to be appreciated.