I'm scared that no one takes me seriously
That everything I say is labeled "dumb"
That they laugh when my back is turned
That I'm secretly "the joke".

I wonder if the people who get talked about
Know and don't give a sh*t,
Or are completely oblivious to it.

If it were me,
If I were the **** of those jokes,
I would crack
And crumble into shards.
And I surely would not make it out alive.

                            -m.m.

autumn came around like a drifter to an onramp
there were wet leaves floating in gutters full of rain.
took to walking barefoot around town
melodies from grade school, kicking in my brain.
saw you on the crosstown bus today.
you were reading a magazine.
I turned my face away and I shut my eyes tight.
and dreamed about the flowers that hide from the light on dark hillsides
in the hidden places.

the brakes howled and the bus pulled up near my house
and I got off at the corner.
pulled my sleeves down over my hands, over my hands.
and I wished I was someone else.
and I wished it was warmer.
and when I got home, I thought about you.
like a desperate policeman, searching for clues
and I almost passed out, just then
and I shut my eyes again
headed for the dark hillsides
in the hidden places.

I long for the soft swaying of the boat,
the calls of howlers nearby, signaling the
oncoming of another heat-ridden shower,
a sweet taste of red wine on my lips
while I watch as he stands on the bow,
the wind brushing hair from his eyes
as the rain begins to trickle down,
a nearby camel rushes for cover
beneath its sturdy shelter, and I wonder
if this is what peace feels like

She's got a coke face on
like her nose is about to bleed
she's lost in her twisted world
consumed by lies and greed.

Believing that she has it all
I laugh because I watched her fall
her beauty is now lost and gone
and her sorrows she pretends to drown.

Her skull, it shows, there's nothing left,
thin skin lining bone, she's dancing with death.
She's empty and numb, her dreams falling like snow,
sleepwalking through life, she's losing herself to blow.