your lips

drip

of honey

and so our kiss

is just as sweet

I thought I was your sweetheart
but I received a beat heart

You doted upon me
I counted to three

One,
Two,
Three

The pain remained
and I was drained

I was left confused
bruised, abused and used

You thrived,
yet I only survived

Today I seek, to thee, advise...
To gird up thy *****, and arise!
Night will come, when no man can work...
But he that winneth souls, is wise!

Satan surely, blinded their eyes...
He is the father of ALL lies!
And behind the scenes, he will lurk...
Masquerading, his disguise!

We must run, to obtain the prize...
Focused and with, no compromise!
This evil world, has gone berserk...
O Lord, we pray you’ll hear, our cries!

tell me
why you blame me
for being crazy
when you were the one
who made me this way
to begin with

I’m suddenly bombarded by a wave of panic I’m slowly drowning
A unexplained darkness starts to surround me

I can feel the adrenaline course through my veins
I’m flooded by it’s sweet pain
I can’t wait for when this is over finally
My hands start shaking violently

Blood rushes to my cheeks turning them bright red
I can’t move I’m trapped inside my own head
I can’t think I can’t see everything’s getting foggy
An invisible serpent slithers it’s way up my body
Squeezing and squeezing it tightens as it’s makes its way to my neck
It’s slithers around me it’s so grotesque
Slowing curling around. It grips tighter and  tighter
My lungs are burning now they’re on fire

My throat starts to close and I can’t speak
My legs turn to rubber and they become so weak
***** is slowly rising burning its way up my throat
My chest feels as though it’s going to explode
I gasp for air as I silently choke
And the pressure will just increase
My stomach knots and hot tears slide down my cheeks
My heart beats rapidly to an ominous beat
I’m burning and sweating I can’t handle this heat
My panic clouds my brain and I can’t think
I collapse and shrink

My jaw is sore from gritting my teeth
I look fine on the outside but I’m fighting a silent battle underneath
I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe
Why won’t it stop why won’t it cease

With all this pain my teeth start to grind
I’m Held captive within my own mind

I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die
Why won’t it stop why why why
My anxiety is exploding in my brain
Im engulfed by this excruciating pain
It’s like a tidal wave of suffering I’m just trying not to be drowned
I’m screaming and suffocating but no one seems to hear a sound

But suddenly my anxiety starts to slowly relinquish its power
It’s only been a few minutes but it felt like hours
My heart  starts to slow and I start to relax
My ability to breathe slowly comes back
I look down surprised to find my body intact
I’m fine it was just another panic attack