I like how you are a free person.
You follow the beat of your own drum.
You listen to your emotions, and will not let anyone change it. You control it.
You have been through a lot, and I'm proud that you overcame all the problems that you had, almost alone.
I'm proud, and I'm thankful I got to know a person like you.

Thank you for letting me hear your life story.
Thank you for letting me into your life, even just the tiny part of it.
Thank you for spending time with me whenever we have the chance.
And most specially, thank you for all the lessons.

I can finally say that you're the greatest lesson in my life.

i believe that there are 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 in this world;

a 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 knocks at your doorstep,
a smile is formed,
that's excitement waiting for you to open the door!
one happiness is born.

on one side,
a 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 knocks at your doorstep,
everything became a moment of peace,
invisibility has engulfed all problems,
another happiness is born.

i believe that there are two happiness in this world;
one is gained from 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭,
and the other is from 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞.

I already said my final bye to the skies.
You love staring at them right?
I hope you can find my last goodbye while you stare at it.
Thank you for everything, I will never forget you.

It was never easy.

Life was never easy. Life, that I know, is a series of ups and downs, as cliche as it sounds. My life right now is at the rock bottom. I do experience happiness, from time to time and I get to experience the whole joy of experiencing the happy moments because of the bottom pits of hell I'm experiencing right now and I'm thankful. But all of my problems now are bearable. Bearable to the point that I know everything has a solution. All of my problems has a solution, except for one.

It was you.

I considered you before as a light on the deep end of this dark pit tunnel, and I also told you that verbatim. You were the peace I have never experienced, and I was grateful. Out of all the people I met, I thought you were the person who will show me why it didn't work out with anyone else. But life surprises me in a way I certainly did not expect.

You became the problem I cannot solve. I now run away from you. I now hate myself each and every time we talk, either in messages or in person. It feels like my worth is gradually falling. You became so unavailable, it reminded me of my parents. I always tell myself to not settle, and to not lower down to what I do not deserve, yet my heart is weak whenever you are present. My heart cannot understand why it keeps forgetting the pain you already caused. It waited for you for months. After months of waiting because of no contact, it thought it would feel the peace again. It missed the peace. Or was it really peace? I cried when you messaged again. I thought to myself, "Could I not be alone anymore? Could I not feel alone anymore?" and yet... you caused me another pain. Another trauma I am not sure I can heal. Why did you even bother contacting me again? I believe I was content of the thought that you need time to heal. So I waited. I gladly waited. My heart unconsciously waited. You would not know how my heart jumped, and how emotional I got when you messaged again. All these thoughts of, "Was he already healed? Is he okay?" and you would not know how broken I got when the answers were still a no. You would not know how the pain doubled when your intentions are not what I expected. It hurt more. It hurt a lot more. How dare you? I am worth more than how you treat me. My friends always remind me of my worth, and yet... Why is my heart so deaf? Why can't my heart listen? Why is it still you? I look for you in every person. The good side of you. The side of you that I saw. Yet you would not even believe in yourself that you have that side. Weeks have passed and I don't want to tell this but I miss you. Even if you hurt me, I miss you. Even if it pains me, I miss you.

And I hate it.

She is the most colorful tune
I could ever hear,
"You might be the girl,
the first who made me feel like this."

I'm stuck on ruins
Leaves are falling, they are golden
"What are you doing here?"
"Following-- Loving you."

She smiled,
She knows,
Still playing the notes I wanna hear,
Tip toeing on the piano, it hurts.

Someone told me,
"She's happy at the moment"
"I can see,"
But the waters in front of me screams, rumbling through the forest.

She danced as if she's in a play with the trees
Someone is playing violin on a different direction
Butterflies left me behind, smiling and flying towards the instrument,
Ruins became scarier than usual.

She likes me playing my piano,
Nevertheless,
She loves the one
playing the violin.

She was the most colorful tune
I could ever hear,
"You might be the girl
the first I've ever loved this way."

thank you,
for always showing me how harsh reality is
thank you,
for saying there will always be rain
thank you,
for not lying that life is beautiful
thank you,
for lowering my expectations

for those things,
saved me

but, thank you, even after all those,
accompanying me during those times is the most i'm thankful for

he loves being logical on things
yet the only thing he can't be logical on
is me

Love is peace.
Love is where the birds chirp in the sky, no smoke is seen.
Love is where the wind blows right, hair strands in sync with the flow.
Love is where the cars mildly run on a highway, no over-speeding.
Love is where kids are running in a wide field, catching each other as if they are in another universe.
Love is where balloons are filled with helium, held by a kid's hand.
Love is where foods are all over the place, people patiently lining up to buy food, catching up with their friends while they wait.
Love is where you can hear laughters loud and clear, as if reality is so far away.
Love is where you hear the sea waves gently clash through the rocks.
Love is where you share picnic mat with your friends, or coworkers, sharing food.
Love is where you look at the skies, talking to someone you love, as if you're both alone in the world.
Love is where you made someone smile in the little things that you do.
Love is everywhere. Peace is everywhere.
You just have to look for it.

love is a choice not a feeling, right?

It is when you are waiting,
When you know what to do when the time that thing comes,
When you are fully aware of that thing you are waiting,

However,

It is also when you do not know what you need to do
...WHILE waiting.

it is either you are

a walking lesson,
a walking memory,
a walking inspiration,
or a walking lifetime to someone,

you will always have a purpose in life.

in this world
full of people talking about themselves,
in this world
full of people minding about themselves

thank you,
for being the one who listens

thank you,
for lending an ear every time one needs it

and thank you,

for every good listener,
needs a listener, too.

The baby butterfly,
having its wings broken a million times,
tried to open it again.

"Help me,"
it screamed, no one answered.
"Help me,"
it reached out, no one answered.

A miracle happened,
something deep down on its soul, one answered.

"You have me,"
a voice has spoken.

It's itself.

You have been the sun, the moon, the horizon and all possible metaphors of the word, "love."

But, there is always that one metaphor which is my favorite.

You are my home, always will be.

The world is undecided.
It does not know whether to enlighten or remain dark.

El mundo esta indeciso.
No sabe si iluminarme o estar obscuro.

Inner child,
I know you’ve played this game before,
And you won, again and again,
You have many trophies, and I am proud of you for winning all those games,
But I’m sorry if it left you with so many scars
I’m sorry if it made you see life as a one big game,
Where winning is needed.

You don’t even want to win,
And you don’t even want to play the game.
I’m so sorry, I wasn’t there to protect you before,
But let me help you now.
Let me help you see that this life is not a game.
Playing games is done, you already won those.

So now, can we try, step-by-step, to live?
So now, can we try, step-by-step, to not have the winning mindset?
To just let go?

I’ll be patient, inner child.
But I hope you will remember that you don’t need to win now.
Games are done now.
Live.
I love you.

When all your life, you played chess with everyone you meet,
Outsmarting every move just to survive,
And now, it's hard to play a simple hopscotch.

A dog taught me a very important lesson today.
As I was washing the dishes, he is just sitting down, waiting for his owner to come back.
I wondered, “Does he know how long will his owner be gone?”
I continued washing the dishes, and another thought came up, “Does he even care how long he needs to wait?”
All the dog wanted to do was see his owner again, to bond with his owner again.
And in order to do that, he has to wait.
A thought came up again, “Does he like waiting?”
I continued the dishes while waiting for another thought to come by, but there was nothing.
I realized, it was not an important question, and it’s not even a question to be answered.
Because the “waiting” process does not matter to the dog.
It didn’t matter if the dog likes to wait or not.
All that matters to the dog was his owner will come back.
Whenever, wherever, his owner will come back, and he fully believes it.
The dog believes his owner will come back.
The dog trusts his owner to come back.
Even if the owner will be late or early, the dog will automatically forgive as long as the owner will come back.
Even if it will take days, the dog believes.
Because the dog “loves” the owner with his whole soul.
It’s the type of unconditional love where “waiting” is natural to do so.
It’s the love that conquers everything.
The dog mastered it naturally like it’s his second nature.