I am scared.

just how many sorry
should i receive
to get what i deserve?

thank you,
for always showing me how harsh reality is
thank you,
for saying there will always be rain
thank you,
for not lying that life is beautiful
thank you,
for lowering my expectations

for those things,
saved me

but, thank you, even after all those,
accompanying me during those times is the most i'm thankful for

never thought i'll be wishing
to watch you sleep
being just centimeters away from you
rather than through cold screens

he loves being logical on things
yet the only thing he can't be logical on
is me

i believe that there are 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 in this world;

a 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 knocks at your doorstep,
a smile is formed,
that's excitement waiting for you to open the door!
one happiness is born.

on one side,
a 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 knocks at your doorstep,
everything became a moment of peace,
invisibility has engulfed all problems,
another happiness is born.

i believe that there are two happiness in this world;
one is gained from 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭,
and the other is from 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞.

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝,
easy to say,
difficult to feel.

'emotions' are louder,
and stronger,
than 'thoughts'

people who can control the former are powerful
but,
people who can understand the former
are beyond comparable, and beyond powerful
and the world needs more of them.

love is a choice not a feeling, right?

that's the thing about memories
you cherish them more when it's gone
you feel pain, you feel hurt
you miss them and wanna go back
but then after a while,
you'll realize, years have already passed

I already said my final bye to the skies.
You love staring at them right?
I hope you can find my last goodbye while you stare at it.
Thank you for everything, I will never forget you.

You have been the sun, the moon, the horizon and all possible metaphors of the word, "love."

But, there is always that one metaphor which is my favorite.

You are my home, always will be.

Every single one of us aren't born perfect.
Some may have more, some may have less.
But there will be no one who have enough, perfectly.

Imperfect is the word, but not exactly depicts the meaning of it.
No man is an island, as they say,
I understood it the way it should be understood.

We are all perfectly imperfect to someone.
An imperfectness in which we can belong to, we can match onto.
An imperfect person that makes every memory perfect.

thing is,
most of us here

write,
not to impress
but to express

that's why i love it here.

in this world
full of people talking about themselves,
in this world
full of people minding about themselves

thank you,
for being the one who listens

thank you,
for lending an ear every time one needs it

and thank you,

for every good listener,
needs a listener, too.

It is when you are waiting,
When you know what to do when the time that thing comes,
When you are fully aware of that thing you are waiting,

However,

It is also when you do not know what you need to do
...WHILE waiting.

it is either you are

a walking lesson,
a walking memory,
a walking inspiration,
or a walking lifetime to someone,

you will always have a purpose in life.

The baby butterfly,
having its wings broken a million times,
tried to open it again.

"Help me,"
it screamed, no one answered.
"Help me,"
it reached out, no one answered.

A miracle happened,
something deep down on its soul, one answered.

"You have me,"
a voice has spoken.

It's itself.

"Am I too dependent on others for my happiness?"
"No. Humans are made to be with other people."

there are just things that are left unsaid,
things that should stay the way they are,
time that was borrowed,
and needed to be turned in again

"Moon,
carrying the weight of the night sky
on its own

If the moon doesn't light the sky
would people bother to look at the
Moon?"

— Jeon Jungkook

Someday, we'll waltz together.

ever feel so lost
you didn't even see the arrows
that's right in front of you

She is the most colorful tune
I could ever hear,
"You might be the girl,
the first who made me feel like this."

I'm stuck on ruins
Leaves are falling, they are golden
"What are you doing here?"
"Following-- Loving you."

She smiled,
She knows,
Still playing the notes I wanna hear,
Tip toeing on the piano, it hurts.

Someone told me,
"She's happy at the moment"
"I can see,"
But the waters in front of me screams, rumbling through the forest.

She danced as if she's in a play with the trees
Someone is playing violin on a different direction
Butterflies left me behind, smiling and flying towards the instrument,
Ruins became scarier than usual.

She likes me playing my piano,
Nevertheless,
She loves the one
playing the violin.

She was the most colorful tune
I could ever hear,
"You might be the girl
the first I've ever loved this way."

I guess I'm scared
because of that dream, I can't explain.
"what if"s come through, running
running, running, running
as if they're about to flow beyond my thinking capacity
"what if you leave?"
"what if you are making your choice right now,
thinking what to say to not make me feel alone"
"what if,
I'm the only one making this work"
what if...

sumabay sa pag-agos, ang sabi ng iba
mas hindi ka raw mapapagod, ang sabi ng iba
mas madaling gumaya sa ginagawa nila, ang sabi ng iba
pero bakit ganoon

sinubukan kong sumabay sa agos
sinubukan kong gumaya sa ginagawa nila
pero bakit tila mas napagod pa ako?

iilan lang kaming nagtatanong
iilan lang kaming pilit kumakawala
sa kung anong agos na sinusundan nila.

Ever feel like overthinking a lot of things?
Like at the end of the day,
You'll feel like, you're not for each other.

They can make her happy, but not quite.

There are different reasons why you write.
You write because...
...you're happy?
you're sad?
you're delighted?
you're mourning?
keeping a secret?
But whichever reason you have,
you still write what's inside.
What other people can't see,
can't decipher beneath the words you speak,
can't understand the emotions flowing
through the sentences you can't speak out loud.
You write, pouring the feelings you can't let out,
you write. using the words you once thought can't explain what you feel.
You write, thinking that someone out there can finally discern what you're hiding inside.

""You like because, and you love despite."

Hi ----. I wanna start my Christmas greeting with that special quote above. The moment I start liking you, it was all of the "because." Because you're funny, because you make me happy in times I can't even raise my lips to form a smile, or because your jokes are on different level that my humor can't keep up. You are that guy whom anyone can be with and not feel any awkwardness at all. Everyone like you as you are, because of those "because's." But hey, here comes the second part of the quote: the moment when I started to love you and everything became a moment of "despite." I love you despite of our differences. I may be that girl who's weak and tender, and keeps that laughing face to protect her from hurting, and you may be that guy who doesn't care at anyone or anything, but I still love you. I love you despite of not being the guy that's my type. You're far from my type and I think you knew that. I love you despite of what you chose to be, and I'll still be here to support you whatever your choice will be.

Every moment I spent my day thinking and being with you, I get to know more about you. And the more I know about you, the more my love goes deeper for you. It's funny how God didn't gave me someone who's perfect, but someone whom I need and want. I want someone who doesn't smoke, He gave me you. I want someone who likes & cares about kids genuinely, He gave me you. I want someone who has compassion in everyone, He gave me you. He gave me someone who is not only just capable of being perfect for me, but also someone who's willing to take care of me regardless of whatever status we may be.

Merry Christmas. I will always be here, and when I say that, I mean it. I love you.

Everything happened in a snap
1, 2, 3 as I count,
tears suddenly froze.
Time; how can you count time?
Overthinking comes by, as this happened so abrupt.
What to do?
Instead, when will I feel contented?
When will everything sink in?

to the guy that has been black and blue:
thank you for coming to my life
thank you for knocking outside my door
and thank you for listening to my problems
sincerely and genuinely

but I still hate you
I hate you for being the guy whom I still don't know
the guy who has been there, knowing me
but I still don't have a clue on who you are

you care, then you don't
I guess, who falls first lost eh?
and I guess I lost the battle.

you make gestures that are unexpected
and my being can't get over it
then after a while, you became cold
like you didn't meant anything that you've said

I still don't get you
and maybe I will forever won't get you
but I'll always be here,
as a friend

I won't be lost.
and maybe, at the end of the day
I will be the one who'll get hurt
for you will leave one day,
and I will let you.

There were two roads.
We chose to walk on the right side,
Didn't know that there will be a cross road ahead
I'm too confident thinking that you will still choose the right side
And a sudden realization happen;
I was left alone,
Walking on the right side.

how can one person
made you feel like you own the world
you own the rainbows among every rain,
then will make you feel like there's no penny left in your pocket
and though rainbows exist
they will suddenly remind you that rain will always be there?

metaphors have helped poets a lot to explain what they're feeling
either you're a storm
a cloud
a sunshine
a galaxy or
a star
but whatever metaphor you may be
you will still be the greatest treasure
they could ever get
and that's how beautiful metaphors are made.

You were the first one
That both my heart and mind can handle
Not too much of a cry
Not too much of a smile

You are the great example of average
My soul meets someone
That made it feel average
Yet contented

No strings attached, as the brain said
All strings attached, as the heart said
Ready as a warrior, ones heart
But weakling at the actual fight

Stop, the brain again proclaimed
Stop, protesting that this should not continue anymore
Stop, pleading as if whispering to the wounded

"You can't take it anymore,
Why did we even start this?" asked brain.

"I was happy at the beginning,
and it's all that it takes." heart answered.

The leaves keep falling
as if its their daily routine.
When will it stop?
Fall isn't my favorite season,
for I always see the beautiful scenario caused by the leaves
that have fallen from breaking apart.

And I only wish you happiness, until we meet again.

I asked Him for a sign
A sign to continue, a sign to not stop liking you
Or the vice versa
There's only an hour and thirty minutes left
For the sign to happen, or, sadly and unfortunately, not;
That sign, is the most unexpected sign that could happen
For it doesn't get to your interest
But, that's the purpose of signs isn't it?
That if it will happen, it will.
I maybe sad, or happy
When the clock will strike 12;
I created my own Cinderella story
But I'm the prince
Waiting for a miracle to happen
Standing by for the sign to occur
Will I be happy?
Or sadness will struck an arrow
That will take my smile away?

"Why does it hurt, liking someone so much?"
"Because life is a give and take process. Once you only give, you'll end up having nothing, and the 'take' one, you'll miss it. Thinking why did you gave so much."

ever experienced singing indirectly to someone you like?
you hum the words, like singing a lullaby
and you look at him sleeping soundly
secretly hoping that your voice would reach him
reach him like the words on a poem knock the readers
reach him like the steps on a ballet bring shine to the watchers;
it hurts actually
the feeling of you singing, but that person you like didn't know he's the one you're actually singing to
how i wish that some other person could've recorded that scene
be played by myself a million times
and never forget how that moment,
is so beautiful that it hurts.

That stare isn't supposed to be mine
Yet I caught it

I caught a glimpse of your galaxy
Trying to mix in with mine.
How can every galaxy in your eyes,
Pull my soul closer to those stars
The stars that makes you shine the brightest?

That stare,
That black hole have eaten me alive
Thank goodness, I was sane that time
Or else I might do something I will regret.

My heart is contented with that glimpse.
The glimpse that made every vein jump
The galaxy that made my body chill
The stare that made my whole being still.