You'll be happy, whatever you do

I just hope I can do right by you

I'll be there, whatever you choose

I just hope I can do right by you

I forgot what it all feels like

Somewhere the pillow in your shirt
just became a pillow and shirt
they became separated
I left them that way
I couldn't smell
My mind forgot
what warmth
was like

I don't feel lips, I don't remember lips
Hands on your hips, my mind's eye eclipsed
I have nothing to grip, but a thin veiled cloud
the memories, they slip, as my mind disavowed

I'm vulnerable, I'm human, I'm just a man,
All I can do is the best that I can,

having woken up
to finally see
there had fallen
my worlds last tree.
I didn't get up to look
what was there to see?
just this barren prairie
its getting harder to breathe...

"All I needed was the love you gave,
All I needed was another day,
You're all I ever knew
Only
You"

Self pity and questions of when and how
were to the ashen ground
under my suspended heel
in just the thought of reaching down
praying at a vigil of questions
I can't yet even hope to broach

To think what had been done
what could have been done
is only my own exercise
in futility
to make revision what we had penned
in thick, black, ink

at my foothill of persona
and of our pixelated dynasty
begins an Everest journey
of a stalemate
of hopes
and expectations
of intimacy
and socialization

4 years in expectation
4 years in perilled ranges
through cold and lonely
through barren unseen valley
through 1251 miles

close enough to see the Northern lights
never tall enough to hold them

the coal
left unheld
without it's eon
having passed
never crystalized