i am dis.sociat.ing
bit by bit.
bug. stuck.
glitchy.
i will never love.
loveloveluvl0vel00v1.
i am coded to grow old alone.

You've crossed my mind five-hundred times since you've told me—
Wanting to be a functional person, wanting to be a decent daughter, I am cut up and stitched together with threads made of perpendicular thoughts on parallel timelines.

The only way you know is the only way home, but you can cross the street if you need to.

Tears—from, or in front of, or in the arms of
My mother, oh God, do I love her,
Breaking down faster than gravity can act on salt water.
The words dissolving under my tongue—
quicker than I can spit them out.

It hurts.
It ******* hurts.

i still remember the specific strand of ****
that we breathed in february of first year
behind my building on saturday night
the first time you kissed me.

it wasn't the first time we had kissed
but the first time you had kissed me.
there was green on the taste of your lips
and blue under my tongue.

i walked by that same smoke bench a few weeks ago
wondering how many others had sat,
smoked the same strain, stolen the same memories.

"How to cut yourself when you're a modest man in a relationship:
Drink, write, never read, and burn."

The second could have been three times as long, but you'll always remember the first.

Oh Ruth, you left me in a scattering—
I hit the gold foil
and I was gone.