now you're a memory, desperately trying to be forgotten. the sad truth is that memories don't just 'fade away'. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get you out of my head and the memories we once shared. God, I loved you so much.

I need to see you, so I can work everything out. its just like one of those "solve for x" math equations, where I need the unknowns to figure everything out. you seem happy. you're smiling and I'm wondering, what kind of people wander into your mind? is it her? she's the beautiful, radiant one, with skin like silk and a voice like sunshine with the moon in her eyes. is it them? those people with plants sprouting from their veins, their souls so pure, like they grow from the earth itself. is it me? the ordinary girl. the girl with hair of gold but a mind so broken that you only see the pieces if you open your eyes wide enough.

she found tranquillity in listening to melancholic music because of the lyrics and melodies that eased her desolation.

she got home late that night. that same night you broke her. she lay in her bed with her eyes overflowing with tears thinking of all of the damage you had caused her. her heart broke as she saw you with that girl. she knew that she would never be anything like her. her heart broke as she thought of the lies you told her. her most favourite lie she heard from you was "I love you". she knew you didn't mean it when you said it but it still made her happy. she saw that you were "online". but not for her. she wanted to try her best to forget everything about you. your name. your mother's favourite song. your scent. your voice. those hugs and kisses. she drank a whole bottle of ***** trying to forget your name, but the only name she forgot was hers.

let's be the wild youth while we still can. let's let young love lead our lives, let's write poetry into our black notebooks until 2 am, let's spill secrets under our schoolgirl skirts, lets run across streets when we told our parents we were sleeping over. lets sing on rooftops with our bottles pointing towards the stars. lets play joy division while we kiss in haunted moonlit areas. let's say '**** it' and laugh and cry and feel every emotion known to mankind. let's forget our responsibilities. let's be reckless while we still can.

I remember the feeling I had towards you when we first started talking. I thought you were amazing. I remember talking on the phone with you and telling stories, I remember you telling me how much you loved milk and I disagreed with you, but I knew I really liked you and I never wanted to mess anything up because I didn't want to lose someone like you. You made my heart flatter and I'd always get butterflies whenever I saw your name pop up on my screen, there was no better feeling. I miss that.