I wanted to scream
Until I heard the
Whistling in my ear.
I wanted a song
To pair with the freight
Train crashing through
My heart.
I wanted to feel my
Bones shatter
At the impact.

But instead,
I implode
And my lips pull
Into a smile.
"Don’t worry,
I’ll be fine
In a while".

I crouch upon
myself,
Trying
to be
As small
as I can

Just so I
can hide
From
everyone
And
everything,

I crumble
into
A paper crane,
I move
my wings

Up and
Down
And up
And down,
But I can’t
seem to fly,

So I let
myself fall
Into silence,
A void I can’t
Seem to fill,

A rain
Forrest
Full
of beautiful
Things
and ceiba
Trees,

i sit
Underneath
Dripping
Branches
As i disintegrate
Back into the earth.

God knows the green needs rain
green that pleases the eye.

Green the hill green the valley
green that smells divine.

about the laughing cornflower sky
honey wheat fields of dandelions
a red-tailed hawk soaring high.
Spraying ink in a billowing black cloud

like the octopus in the sea
a puff of ebony is my shroud.
Planting word seeds in the ground
where men have toiled and plowed,

Deep and dark as cherry wine
my pen, my airplane.
Flying off the page in every line.
Traveling over mountains

to deserts of sleeping lions.
Not a man can tell me where to land.
This is my life, my flight,
laboring birth with my right hand.

I'm desperately searching
For an ounce of permanence
In a world in which
Everything fades to nothingness

They talk
In the name
Of god
And Jesus,
They walk
The walk
And wear
Their suits,
I don’t
Believe
Their pretty
Words,
Or their
Gospel,
I try to
Stay away
From
All that,
But if evil
Does roam
Around,
It’s them.