Listening to the piano man in the corner
Sipping on Spanish wine by the window
The soft breeze pushing on through
Woke up this morning in a daze
There is so much beauty in the world
So much pain and confusion
The answers to it all right in front of me
But I can't move my arms
My legs are still, my body is aching
MY mistakes keep happening
The past continues to leak into my present
With each hand of the future
I crawl and crawl till I am free
These mistakes are such heavy tools
At times too heavy for me
Too heavy to see or touch
When will I learn., when will this  go on
I've asked life to heal me
I've considered the worst
Tomorrow is bleeding
But today I am not free

It's been several weeks
Passing on and on and on,
That the words don't come
Nature heals me,
The soft whisper of life -
Soothes my darkened soul
A smile makes me believe again
The words I read let me feel again
The words just won't come
Forcing them never work
Drinking is tortuous
The room of love has been
An empty oasis waiting in the sun
This seems insurmountable at times
Long, never ending battle against myself
Every time I try, it's a busy tone
Staring at the black keys
They mock me in plain sight
Only the tones of music hear me
Only my closed eyes let me see it

There is a deep peace that I seek
No ocean dark enough
The sky far enough
That I will not search
You must fail to find truth
You must be uncomfortable,
To find the truth
You must hurt, to find a truth
The damage has been done
And the four walls still stand
Bright within the war
Yearning to learn
Yearning to live
Yearning to love
I'll take my blade into my passion
Dust myself off
The hole through me is wide
I seek no shelter
For I have lost my way
Now it is time to find out
Who I truly am to become

A word alone can not describe
The awful pain one carries
Once the flower in their life
Has damaged it's pedals
I see us as a garden
The tornado that protects us
Is also the one who destroys us
There is no level high enough
Of the remorse I feel
A sadness so pure
I am almost grateful for such
An authentic emotion in a lost world
You are a greatness in this world
Whom should be showered
From the heavens with praise and love
May the waters of the ocean
Cleanse the dark caves we've walked
May the bright blue sky
Kiss you in the night
I am here with you, all day and forever
With love,
Sebastian

Ideas travel round the mind
Lost in vast pictures
Of many thoughts and creations
They cultivate heavily and unremorsefully
Lap after lap after lap
Moment after moment after nothing
Trying to make sense of anything
Before we full circle around to the truth
Life will give you perspective
And then **** you
Take your mistakes and learn
How to get back down the mountain
And when life gives you some light
You go in for the ****!
And you don't look back
And you don't apologize

Forward. Direction.

forward, forward, forward

You become more you than ever
You look from the outside in
And you fall backwards

The electricfying feeling when touched
By a soul whose passion burns
Through years of mistakes and adventures
Is a touch only a lover will give you
Kissing their lips, grabbing their body's
Sailing away from the worry
Jumping off rooftops together
Opening your ears to the sound of lust
As the record spins and spins
The fury you've created goes on and on
With each long night,
With every single word spoken
After every gaze, every cigarette
The embers float in the wind
Capturing the symbolic meaning,
Of what it means to be alive

There's some **** all the time
You got to just laugh at
There's always some people
You got to just laugh at
There's some places and
Personalities, you gotta just laugh at
In the end, keep your secrets
Keep your self-motivation
Keep what keeps you going
Keep it all to yourself, sacred
Become indestructible,
In the end, when you're at the top
Alone with the gods
That's all that'll matter
And your life will thank you