Shrouded in darkness
In my mother's keep.
She whispers to me,
"Beauty is only skin deep."

As I twist and turn
Inside this black womb,
Light peeks in;
I'll be born soon.

Into blinding light I cry.
"A girl with sass!"
Some guy wails,
As he smacks my ***.

As my mother feeds me
Men gasp at her *******.
She holds me close,
"Don't listen to these pests."

I am small
With big bright eyes,
He sneaks in
And forces life long lies.

I am growing
Parts of me are too.
And I try to listen to mother,
But I'm falling for fools.

"When you're afraid,
Just say no."
Mother never said
A guy would refuse to let go.

Smile.
Look pretty.
Blame other girls.
Blame yourself.

Things mother never said.
But when I feel threatened,
They run through my head.

A woman's worth is skin deep between her thighs.

It's something my mother would never say.
But the world has made me feel this way.

People think that my life is perfect.
My smiles are real.
My cover wrists aren't scared.
My eyes don't shed a tear.

People are wrong.
My smiles are fake.
My wrists are scared.
My eyes shed thousands of tears.

People think that my life is perfect.
My parents are sweet and nice.
My body is only bruised because I fell.
My spirit isn't shattered.

People are wrong.
My parents are monsters.
My body is bruised because of them.
My spirit is completely shattered into a million pieces.

I miss you.
It was my fault that I lost you though.
Just likes its my fault that I still love you.

I miss you so much.
I never wanted to leave you,
But sometimes you have to do something you don't want to.

I miss you.
I did what I had to do
In order to keep you safe.

I miss you so much.
I will always love you.
Just like I will always blame myself for what happened.

sometimes my mouth forgets how to form words of honesty
i look at the boy and i say
i do not need his love
and what i mean is
the strand of his hair that is perpetually out of place
feels as significant as a misplaced set of car keys
i think about the boy and say to myself
you are okay with being alone
i am okay with being alone
and what i mean is
i would channel all of the breath in my lungs for a moment of being held like i was something meaningful to another person
like the warmth of my blood was somehow tangible outside the thin tissues of my own skin
sometimes i wonder if my body will go on strike
lose form altogether at the lack of contact
become ambiguous out of lonely
but my lips curve into a smile when i ask how his day was
and they forget to reverberate back into place once he loses interest

I am protecting my heart
Because it won't be mine for long
I know that I cannot and do not want
To chart my life into boxes forever
I guess the goal is to remain myself
As I get swept off my feet continually
To allow that chemical imbalance
That is me to infuse with what
Is bigger than me
Be guided by what you get lost in

I can see how I will end up alone
Although at times on purpose hibernation
Needs to be (I need to be) and you or I
Or my center will come to me
Strict minuscule gardening or internal
Self-bartering
Organizing my boxes of ideas of what
Should be or 'what I want'
Congesting the pathways of sprawling madness
I will continue in my goals but only
To break myself for you
So I can offer my truest self
Which will not be mine for long

You put a stone in my palm
One that was buried in the sand of the beach
One that had a home in the sea

And you said to me,
"Throw it. And throw it far.
This represents him.
All the pain he created in your life.
All the turmoil and heartache
And the pieces of your heart
That still long for him.
Throw it as far as you can
And let him go."

Tears escaped my eyes
And I knew in my heart you were gone
I don't long for you anymore
I don't miss you
I'm not angry
Although I do feel sympathy
I feel sorry for the man you are
And I pray to God you heal
And can treat a woman right one day
The way he treats me...
No woman deserves the hell you put me through
But it's in the past
It's been a good long six months
I think it's time I let go
I think it's time I stop looking through our messages
I think it's time I give him my whole heart
Every part of me
Well, the broken piece left after all you took
You took everything I had
I gave you all I had
But he, he cherishes this piece
Although it's broken,
It is sacred to him
He's healing me slowly
He's making God the centre
He loves me... For real this time...
Not just empty words and empty promises

It's time I let you go, stranger
I don't believe I can call you by name anymore
I don't own you
You're not mine
I can't even call you ****** names
It's not right

So this is my goodbye
This is my letting go
With the stone falling into the waves
And carried into tide
Stranger,
I'm letting you go.

It's heating up, summer season,
drinking like a bunch of heathens.
like a river, whiskey flows,
were feeling good, head to toes.

******* ready, out past the waves
it has the things you really crave,
girls in bikinis and coolers of beer,
charcoals burning, it's all right here.

Drop an anchor, park the boat,
tie it off and let it float,
wade on over to the bar,
splish and splash, it's not that far.

It's heating up, summer season,
drinking like a bunch of heathens.
like a river, whiskey flows,
were feeling good, head to toes.

Live band playing, redneck yacht,
dudes with guitars, this is the spot,
girls dancing around the pontoon,
having fun no one is leaving soon.

I once thought I knew what love ought to be. It was between two people, just you and me. Then I was shown something miraculous, someone who paid a cost. Someone who didn't have to give all to come and save that which was lost. When my eyes were truly open and I saw what God Son did, I knew that there was a new type of love, that I had never seen before. He left all that he held dear to do the father's will. Though he still Bears the scars, he loves me still. For with love he gave his life that I might be redeemed. He showed me a new type of love, one that I had never seen.

We, lost Africans
left the savanna
to follow the stars
leaving the ground
to stride with arms
down by our sides
to inherit the earth
and dirt of other lands
following the caravan
of sacred elephants
taking off our black
helmets to discover
other atmospheres
learning to breathe
here as well as there
drinking and singing
like blood thirsty
tigers the dangerous
songs of maps drawn
and long forgotten.