Morning

the alarm goes off
I wake up
I turn it off
I go back to sleep
My mom or dad comes in
they wake me back up
I lie in bed
for 10 more minutes
then I get up
I go to the bathroom
and stare at myself in the mirror
I sigh...
I pretend to wash my face
I go back to my room
I stare at my closet
and decide what I'm going to wear
I get dressed
I go down stairs
I eat one of the following items:
oat meal
   -Chocolate chip
   -Maple brown sugar
   -apple cinnamon
Whole wheat bagel with almond butter, peanut butter, cinnamon, and/or jam
cereal if there are any good options
   -Peanut butter bumpers
   -GOOD granola
   -organic chocolate *****
with coconut milk
toast with the same things as bagels
I say good morning to parents
I argue with my sister
I drink my orange juice
eat my vitamins
bring my stuff up to the sink
go up stairs
I lie on my bed
I go into the bathroom
I brush my teeth
I go downstairs
I pack my backpack
I pick out some shoes
I yawn
I go to school

School
I go to advisory
We play cake(a game)
First class
I space out
I draw pictures
unless that class is of the following:
PE
Writing lab (if it's not about grammer or spelling)
Art
Music(Because all the string instruments make it impossible)
I go to math
I get too confused to know what the hell is going on
I go to writing lab
we write and then teacher goes into some speech about commas
I go to french
I have no idea what the teachers talking about
I go to PE
If we aren't playing soccer, basketball, dodgeball, batmitten, capture the flag, or volleyball than I ****

Lunch
Yay!
I eat
I talk
I chill

More classes
Art
I tell my teacher how much I love her outfit
I read the board
and I make art

Music
UGHHHH
THE TEACHER IS SUCH A GRUMP!!!
I listen to her yell at people
I play my instrument

Study

Almost done with school
I finish a bit of homework

Going home (Or going nordic skiing)

I get a snack
I do homework
I have dinner with the family
I do more homework
I get ready for bed
I read
I go to bed

Every day is the same
the weekend is just a bunch of chores
hanging with friends some times
and stay up late watching my favorite shows:
Bones
Glee
CSI NY
CONAN
SNL

Ugh I need a change.

I can't breathe.
I'm panicking for no reason.
It hurts my chest when I inhale and exhale.
I try to calm down, but nothing works.
I stand up and sit back down.
But still nothing is working.
I start to pace around my room.
Then I think "You're gonna be fine."
Heart rate starts slow down.
Breathing becomes normal.
You're fine.
Then the panicking finally stops.

11.45pm
hi, guess what i'm listening to country music right now
and i cant text you because my parents took my phone and laptop:(
so ill just write this and you can read it later
i love you

11.50pm
i just ran dowstairs amd almost tripped and died
but its like all good
i had to get my chocolate milk
imma watch cat videos until im tired

12.00am
okay well i lied
i started watching horror movie trailers and now im scared
im still listening to country
im soo bored

12.20am
jeez my parents just came home because they forgot their keys for something and somehow noticed i was up and gave me sleeping pills
so i kinda wanna die but its all good
i just listened to the song H.O.L.Y and now 16 is playing
not a bad song

12.25am
i was thinking about how you always say opposites attract
and like thats not wrong because we're really different people
but like i was thinking about it
and i think i kinda get it now
we're opposite, or at least we were before we started dating but we kinda tried to like the stuff the other person likes
like i wouldve never started listening to country if it wasnt for you
and you probably wouldnt have tried listening to the music i like
and you probably wouldnt have tried to write poetry
so like i think thats why people say opposites attract, because we show eachother new stuuf and like idk

12.32am
well i just remembered i have a health test tomorrow so i should probably study but i cant do that tomorrow in the morning or later

ughhhh im still not tired
oh guess what?
i love you soooooooo much
and youre amazing and great and one of my favourite people

1.00am
okay well the pills are really kicking in now
so goodnight
i love you

Eyes

Those eyes
Those eyes
Those eyes
Your eyes

I know I say it all the time
But how could I not?
I’m just so glad I can look into them
I’m so glad they’re mine
Well, yours,
But just-
Ughhhh

Your eyes
Like stars in the sky
Diamonds in the night
Deep blue oceans
Defy me
There’s no gravity
When I look into those eyes
They haunt me
All I ever see

Your eyes
There when I close mine
On my mind
All the time
Never stops
But I don’t want it to

Time goes by
just a blink of an eye
Your eye
But don’t blink,
I might miss a second
A second of seeing them again

I miss
Even when I’m right there
I miss
Even when I can see them
I miss
The way the center,
A mysterious black void,
Where no time exists
I miss the way they widen
Infinitely
Growing as your heart beats faster
I miss the love in them as they meet mine
I miss the way they soften as you lean in for the kiss
I miss the stories they spill with just one look
One glance
One beautiful gaze
Beautiful eyes
Your beautiful eyes

How could I miss them
When they are matching mine
Meeting mine
Looking deep into mine?
Darling I don’t know
But maybe I don’t want to

Your eyes
Steel traps
Waiting
Sitting for the ****
Snap
Predator and prey
I’m trapped
No escape this time
Or ever
Never
Never lose sight of those eyes
Don’t let me go
I don’t want to leave them

Those gorgeous eyes

What happened to your muzzle?!

Well... the neighbor had food.

Your snout is so wet!

I bet.

What about the pads on your paws?

I saw a cat.

What about the stickers?!

The whiskers...

What happened is that the world found out you're soft and pokeable!!!

Ughhhh....lord help your footpads and noseholes....

I'm afraid right now..
A bit anxious in the moment.
There's some unsettled energy.
unfocused
Feeling of tickling excitement
unsettled.
I need comfort.
disappointment
ughhhh arrghhh ok.
I'll take a break right now.
talk yourself down. out of talk reason talk comfort.
There's no boundaries no reigns.
I'm happy.. wheww I smile..
end unlogic's..
by [email protected]
2/21/22