I never really liked Hugh Grant,
'til I saw him in "About a Boy",
It's not as weird as it might sound;
This lonely kid likes to hang around
And play with Hugh Grant's toys.

Wait, I didn't mean THAT! I meant CD's,
And he teaches Hugh about life...
Hugh's a loner & his life's a mess,
The kid's mum is SO depressed,
Thus their neuroses fit like peas.
(in a pod)

See, jerks in school chase the boy each day,
‘Cause he wears old, hippie clothes.
One day he hides at Hugh Grant’s pad,
Listens to music that’s kind of rad,
So he shows up every day.

Hugh and the lad start hanging out
He buys him trainers, shows him what to wear.
But soon, the kid wants Hugh for a dad,
And though it makes Hugh selfishly sad,
He kicks the poor kid out.

"Killing me softly" is the Mum's fave song
So the other kids beat him up.
In a school concert, Hugh sings along.
The mom is thrilled and cooks some Tofurkey,
Hugh joins the crowd; Thanksgiving is quirky,
And Rachel Weisz picks him up.

She’s got a son who’s kind of ******,
Over his Mum’s divorce and he tries to be Goth.
He roughs up the boy and mom is stunned,
'Cos Hugh Grant lied about having a son
So she tells him it’s a no go.

In the end, Mum doesn't commit suicide,
Though the kid DOES waste a duck,
With a loaf of Mum's 10 lb., whole wheat bread.
Everyone laughs and it clears their heads.
Mum & Boy and others get glad,
And the boy's mum finds him a new dad

Rachel forgives the boyish Hugh,
After seeing his good deed.
He loves the kid, the mum and her.
Everyone gathers for Xmas at Hugh’s’;
He wears a paper hat and agrees:

He's no longer an island and needs other folk.
The Boy gets a pal and Mum no longer sulks.
Everything is saved by the new Hugh Grant,
And at least he doesn't wear LEATHER PANTS!

this is the tale of my good friend Hugh
who was once so ***** he didn't know what to do
he tried watching videos on dubious websites
but even that couldn't satisfy his ****** appetite.

So one day he was pondering what he should try
to get rid of this libido he was creating the poor guy
So he picked up a phonebook and dialed a number
"I hate to do this, but I have to put this problem under!"

35 minutes later he started to simmer and stew
until there was a knock at the door, and up jumped Hugh
There at the door was a curvaceous female
he could barely speak he just started to stare

In she walked and off came her clothes
she was wearing nothing, but she looked hotter than melted gold
He immediately jumped in and they made sweet love
so loud the screams were heard by doves

So remember folks if your like Hugh
and so ***** you don't know what to do
just take a peek at the classified section
and you can absolve your Hugh G Rection

A man who revolutionized the ****** equation
Many people will draw their own conclusion
Hugh Hefner being a billionaire
He died at a long longevity age of 91 Years Old
Hefner was a wonder and breed having a behold
Mr. Hefner turned a dream into ******* Magazine
******* bunnies would often be seen throughout Hefner’s Mansion
Bikini clad being a mention
Yet Hugh Hefner lived out his full life
What advice comes out is, “AGE IS TRULY JUST A NUMBER”
But this is Hugh Hefner’s time to slumber
His time that can’t be beat
Heaven’s call being Hefner’s retreat
However, what was the ****** revolution will simply be history
As for Hefner’s estate, now that is a mystery
Hugh Hefner, the world won’t say goodbye
You gave your living life with every try
Some might emotionally cry
You will be remembered for your empire establishment
You were your own conditions apply
No answer having a question of why
Heart to heart
Rest now
Your everlasting has finally arrived
Remembered now and throughout
I hear music of your heavenly arrival, and announcement in harps and Angels shout.