(Man meets woman, Woman meets man)
       Man: How are you beautiful?
   Woman: I'm blessed handsome!
     Man: Wondering if I could get to know you?
Woman: Of course
           (Beginning Of Relationship)
Woman: I've been hurt before so I'm very guarded of my heart and feelings.
Man: I'll never hurt you baby, I'll cherish and love you like the angel you are!!
Woman: I hope so!!
Man: Dnt hope baby believe it
Woman: Ok baby
Man: I got you boo!
                      (Months Later)
Woman: Baby you seem distant is everything ok?
Man: I'm good
Woman: You sure?.. Is there anything you wanna talk about?
Man: Nah I'm str8
Woman: Ok boo (Sighing)
                   (Same Night)
Woman: Hey babe where you at?
Man: With my *****
Woman: Okay boo can't wait for you to get home, got a surprise for you!!
Man: Aight
Woman: (Sighing)& (Thinking)
                    (Early Morning)
Woman: Bae we need to talk
Man: Bout what?
Woman: About us boo
Man: What about us?!
Woman: Things dnt seem the same. You really acting different.
Man: It's all in your head.. I love you gurl (Kiss her forehead)
Woman: Ok boo (Blushing)
                    (Week Later)
Man: Bout to roll over to my ***** house.
Woman: How long you gonna be gone boo?
Man: Bruh I dnt knw what's up?!
Woman: Dang I just asked cause I wanted us to go out and have fun.
Man: I'll be busy handling some business mane!!
Woman: Okay boo maybe some other time. (Thinking)
Man: Aight bruh
                       (Hours Later)
Woman: Hey boo what's up, what you doing? (CALM)
Man: Bruh told you I'm kicking it with my *****.
Woman: Which one?
Man: Tony bruh.. Why? What's up?!
Woman: LOL
Man: What's so **** funny mane?!
Woman: TELL THAT *** I SAID HEY AND AS FOR YOU COME GET YOUR ****!!!
Man: WHAT?! BRUH WHAT THE ******* TALKING BOUT?! MANE I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS PETTY **** BRUH GONE ON.. ***** CNT EVEN KICK IT WITH HIS ***** WITHOUT BEING ACCUSED OF CHEATING..
Woman: LOL... Hold on.. Hold that thought. (CALM)
Man: H..E..L..L...O
Tony: Hey bruh where you at??? Thought your az was at home I came thru
Man: D..A..M..N!!!!!!
Woman: LOL.... BUSTED BRUH!!!!! COME GET YOUR ****!!!!..LOL
Man: (**** faced)!!!

12mn: I was babaw. I made a "funny" joke. You didn't laugh. Usual. I made a funner joke. And this time, you laughed.

1am: I changed our chat emoji to a nose. You realized you were turning 17 in 23 hours. I asked you what you learned from this year, and you said "I hate people", and I wished you didn't hate me.

2am: I was asking you what picture I should tweet for your birthday. Why didn't we get a picture last night. You're laughing at me for wearing the huge *** NASA shirt you gave me. (Thank you a bunch for that.)

3am: I asked you how the Mcdo was. You said "good". My tummy grumbled.

4am: You asked me if I was up and honestly I wasn't – you just woke me up. But conversations at this hour are the best so why not? You sent me some songs. And my groggy self listened to them half asleep. You said 20 hours til you turn 17.

5am: Kuya Soy just left. I am sad. You said jmsn at this hour is great – and he is. You're now gonna try to sleep (**** it, just when I was awake). I asked you what time you were born so I could greet you on that time. But **** it was at 7 am, still, I set my alarm. Goodnight and goodbye, for the mean time.

6am: I write because you exist. Woah that dramatic effect though (just kidding). But really, I am awake, writing my greeting for you. I fell asleep with my notes open.

10am: I was still asleep, you messaged me in reply to "I write because you exist", you said same.

12nn: I just woke up and I just saw your message.

1pm: I followed you with my 2016 account. You followed me back.

2pm: You sent me a hugot quote about walking away or trying harder. I think I'm going for the try harder option. You never know how close you actually are to your goal, right? You said you're turning 17 in less than 12 hours.

3pm: Easy to talk to, hard to understand.

4pm: I learned that your mom's name is Nilda. Hi Tita pls like me half jk. Actually not jk.

5pm: You told me everyone was making 365 accounts. Actually, it's 366.

6pm: I told you I was sad about kinder eggs having genders. "idk lol ugh HAHAHA"

7pm: I asked you if you were okay, you said yes. (And I wished that you'd never lie to me whenever I ask if you're okay)

8pm: Some ungrateful btch be tweeting about not wanting to get food for Christmas. You say "BRUH FOOD IS ONE OF THE GOOD GIFTS MY *****", I laughed.

9pm: You made me listen to Jidenna (aheheh ahas) and I'm reminded of your great music taste.

11pm: You told me your family was fighting. This is your "worst christmas". I want so desperately to do anything to make you feel better, and I am trying to help you.

12mn: Still trying. I wanna hug you to absorb all your sadness.

Whether weather withers
Heavy penny pinchers
Or orders hor d'oeuvres
Don't mean I'm richer
I'm just not a city slicker
Don't say I'm bitter
I got honey in my pitcher
Oh no wait that's pilsner
Sorry I forgot my censor
And she told my I got a ****** up
******
There's a reason I don't miss her
And I'm just trying to be honest
But she left with my wallet
And now I'm elbow deep in Comet
Paying for a dinner, faux gras, I said that like ***** grass to the waiter
I know I can't pronounce it
**** it he's a hater
And she said see ya later
Later on Imma be Dark side
Like Master Vader
I roll up like high tide
And my homies roll up to Eastside
And I tried to go nuts
Now I gotta run hide
'Cuz bacon munch next door on their donuts
Call me crazen, brazen, but
I was cravin' me a donut
So I strolled up
And then she showed up
Tryna get some tacos
And she was with her ****-o
Head look like a rock-o
And he knows bout them rocks though
So I zip-zap-skidaddle
Back to the Eastside
Now the bar died
So I try to find a quick ride
Down to mi casa
But the cars they passa
Without no second glance - uh
Until I drive myself - uh
Now I'm in a jail cell
Callin' for a lawyuh
Writing out my woes nuh
Hiding from my phone bruh
Cigarettes at home
And my heads all full of fog
I should sleep this off
Imma sleep this off