it comes and goes they say. Bringing life to awkard ways. Stimulating awkard minds on lonely days. wastes away in intrinsic minds,repressed.
hapless beautiful thoughts used as insipid grumblings in a harvest without seed.
It is a must.a need.a gift
times' vacation, times' digress.

' Do you understand me?'
A most awkward question to pose
It weakens you and the addressee
Senses your insecurity-- with a sneering nose

Would come the reply:
'What do you take me for--a fool?'
Think before you speak
You command respect when you are sure and cool.

He knew that he was an Alien,  He knew that he was peculiar,  He knew that he was different,   He knew the Air-Prince would continue to encourage others to Strike-Out at Him~ whether they knew the meaning of that which he spoke !       They even made fun of his name~ they would blurt  out~  There goes "AWKARD AL" ~ Words bellowed out~as if to a 100psi ! !    They tried to throw enough "HOT" words  to Blister~His Back.       Then one day,  while at a concert, a few moments before it was to begin,~ a LOUD Murmuring ~ hovered over the audience.   and in Unison they proclaimed ~"There sits ALDIN AWK,  the man whose words Bristle with Brackishness .! and  they~.....Chanted in unison " His words Bristle with Brackishness" , they repeated the chant  over and over.     Aldin stood up,  the crowd thinking ~that He  was about to leave the concert.       To their surprise~ he walked to the stage~ was handed the microphone~ bowed his head for a Moment......     and as He began to speak~  "EVEN GREATER WERE THE BRISTLED WORDS OF BRACKISHNESS"    that came from him thru the tears "Pouring forth"  ....

You think love is a game.
That another persons heart is an experiment.
And though I love you,
I can't watch you dance in circles.
This awkard, hurtful
Relationship without a purpose.
I could give wisdom
Help, advice,or comfort.
But I'm too angry to speak.
To angry to put in much effort.

It starts with a bubbling feeling
that fills then over flows
your cords start vibrating
your stomach knots and hurts
as you slap your knee
and threat urinating
toppled over in a joyous
social transaction
one that turns awkard to ease
and crippling pain into soulful healing
The greatest act to share with someone who cares
There's lots of magic in the little moments spent lost in uncontrolable laughter

the currency of
grieving is in....

casseroles and soups,
left with notes,
on the back doorstep

flowers, bright, beautiful
and fragant,
delivered by gangling, teenage boys.

awkard silences and cups
of lukewarm tea.
mumbled condolences and
too tight hugs

late night rememberances,
after,
far too many drinks

tears, laughter and
in-house jokes...
photos, stories and 
space for quiet reflection.

these things are...
the dollars and cents
of  grief for a friend

but when all is, said
and done....

i would much prefer
to be penniless,
begging on the street,
with pockets empty
and moths for friends.

Every human around me
That knew of our US
Keeps wondering and saying to me
"What is so spectacular about him"?

I look into my heart and say
If only you knew the height of love we
Got to or the tears we shared
Our eye contacts among crowds
Or the awkard kisses at unexpected times.

I wake up to the fact that
You just Went with the flow
And never got attached as I did
It was all a game to you.

If you were Any Other Girl......
I wouldn't be writing this

If you were Any Other Grl......
All of these thoughts that stumble around my head like drunk men trying to find their way home wouldn't exist
And I say drunk men because it's easy to understand sober men
Yet these thoughts seem inexplicably intricate....

If you were Any Other Girl......
I'd be able to decipher all of these emotions and realize that after seven drafts of a poem I should probably give up on trying to explain that if I could I would nail my hands to the very stars themself if only it would give me a tongue crafted of pure gold....
Maybe then I'd be able to explain to every passing stranger how I can see a masterpiece in your very smile

If you were Any Other Girl.....
I wouldn't stumble over wanting to kiss you

If you were Any Other Girl.....
I wouldn't want to brush your hair back slowly, acting like a walking cliché in the desperate hope that your smile would inject my pitiful heart with enough courage to lean in and just be close to you

If you were Any Other Girl....
I would have kissed you a hundred times over

But you see the truth is that......
You're not Any Other Girl
You're gorgeous
Your smile seeps into me like water soaks into the parched land and gives it new life
Your hair seems to have a life of its own and I can't help but think that if you were Medusa's daughter, being turned into stone would be worth it because the last thing imprinted on my vision would be a walking artwork
And what I want you to know is that when you smile I feel the precious bud of bravery blossom within my chest
And I manage to convince myself that I will kiss the most beautiful girl I've ever had the privilege of knowing
Yet when confronted with a face as pure as a Mondrian painting
And more beautiful than a Vermeer or a Botticelli
Massive waves seem to form over me and I stand beneath behemoths of beauty and I laugh.....as these waves crash over me
My inconsequential bravery is washed away in the face of your beauty as I realize for the first time that this girl is....... worth the frustration
She is worth the wait
Worth the energy
Worth the embarrassment of letting an awkard attempt at a kiss melt into a more awkward hug....
But the simple truth is.....
You are not Any Other girl
You.
Are.
Worth.
The.
Journey.
And I can not wait to savour as much of it as I can with you

you are,

my beauty to behold,
my strength to grow old,
my youth blessed, de-messed,
clean clarity, clear faced best.

you are,

my light in dark stairwells,
my long lingering farewell,
my langishing sighs
and final goodbyes,
rueful, regretful, redfaced rest.

you are,

my trial and tribulation,
my awkard salutations,
my pause in transmission,
stupid, careless intermission,
flayed, flensing, flesh rending test.

you are,

my hope for brighter,
my hearts renewing delight,
my compass' new bearing,
fresh, freedoms flight
upward, ever upward
from dark nights behest.

you are,

my inside, outside, beside,

you are,

my internal, eternal guide,
my passion, my power, my pride.

you are,

looking  back at me,
from the mirrors' inside.