In dreams we meet
per chance
pausing briefly-
with that boyish grin
whispering
your voice deep
sensual
"you're still beautiful"...
A pain
proliferating from the void
bereft of joy
longing to scream
in shock and horror..
You are still short
       balding
           larger around the middle
yet those hateful words of choke...
unable to return the pain you gave.
A heart that surrenders
         Only to melt in the pools
                of your deep hazel eyes...
"It is good to see you too.."
Then you fade into the crowd.
       and out of my dreams.

When a beloved hurts you
   it burns, stings - throbs
            like an open wound.
But when the beloved apologizes-
   Pain subsides
          hurt is forgotten
and forgiveness
     flows a easily as the tears
            of joy you shed.

I work
   play Fallout 4
      write poetry
I mind my own business
   cut my lawn
     clean my house.
Occasionally I shop
  smile at strangers
      engage in random acts of kindness...
Explain why
   a Molotov cocktail was thrown at my home?  
and why, while shopping
  a three year old points and screams
*****
   *****
      *****
         *****
            *****!
while her mother continues to shop
....... as if this is the norm?

Belief  is vital
   to sooth the rough
      survive the insurmountable...
Yet on the days
   when belief has abandoned you
your hope
    Is drowning in despair
faith
  fickle faith
has left you for another...
On those days
    I long for that shoulder
That understanding tone
   from he who knows
I don't need fixing
I need my  rock....
My only prayer for you
is that your rock - is still a part of your life...
(unlike me)

When you see that middle aged woman-
abandoned by death or divorce....
Save your pity!
Her children may be grown
successful on their own
their absence is her success....
She can have a quiet dinner alone...
no complaints
no demands
no sacrifices
just the way she likes it....
Movies of her choice -
no compromise...
paintings of Captain America
can now hang upon her bedroom wall...
the music that blasts
are among her favorites...
bringing quiet reminiscences
of loves long gone
dreams
some realized
some forgotten...
For the first time in her life -
She is on a unique journey
learning to love and care
for only
herself....

The best part of Sunday Breakfast,
with any of my sons....
I'm in the restaurant with a man
    who is respectful
         kind and considerate
the most handsome man in the place...
But most importantly
   There is a viscera knowledge
           no matter our differences
this is
    unequivocal
         unconditional
                        love.......