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Jayne E Sep 2020
It is important
that you know
just how much
you matter
regardless
of tempers flared
boundaries shattered
I've loved you
since
before you were born
all the joys we've shared
at first
just a fluttering tremor
always awake before dawn
then somersaults
and kicks in your dad's ribs
thru my belly
hard not to remember
but when I lay
a certain way
that warm September
just you and me
alone in peace
tranquility
so still
as a belly bump
you would be
sleeping inside me
as I slept too
just we
in harmony
perfect symmetry
you
taught me
the true essence
of happy

J.C.
I just came across this, written quite a time ago for my daughter...my first born.
Jayne E May 2020
on your walk to the sun
one hand razed
devastating its glare
heat cracked glaze
by your steely stare
to pave crazed
you are
auditing orbits
threw black dotted sight
fully loded
petal to metal
the ferrous wheel turns
your sun
burns
burns
burns
ironing out
years etched in creases
seared skin stretched tight
you per severe
perpetual
motion never ceases
at knifes edge of night
presque vue too
as peripheral quick
silver sends mecurial
maidens dancing
along contrails
dusted
in shimmering bright
phase two
blends no rhyme
con fused by light
fade to black
we run out of time
blinded out of sight.

© J.C.
Jayne E Sep 2019
rain beats steady
on nights drum
feeding the rhythmic
thrum thrum thrum
infects dull vistas
with marcasite shine
thundered light
keeps metered time
marking
rumbled hallmarks
of sub tropical clime
as sleep eludes
may
the pen be fed
in solitude
sleepy eyes
sleepy head
chasing sleep
until
rains lullaby
soothes little meep.

J.C. "little meep" 08/09/2019 4.44am
Jayne E Apr 2019
Is sweetest summer on the wane
Surely tis too soon
Morning runs taken in cooling air
find cicada rhythms slowing down,
this running rhythm running my life,
my cicada, my cicada, my cicada,
constant in summer air through morn,
noon, or sultry lovers nights, never ready to trade you down for winters
antiseptic silent days,
no beats to my inner drum
runs taken relished now
in fading summers sun.
Ti kōuka palms out in full flower
a sight against blue skies
their heady scent olfactory delight
wafts on as I power by
'she's' running again & headed 'home'
to her beloved Maungakiekie
mourns summers imminent end
as all its beauty's she does name,
with feet a'fire and hair aflame,
in passing summers sun.

J.C. "little meep" 26/03/2019
Jayne E May 2019
Red dragon
Black sea

White chip
Crested Tui

Blue Stilton
Green tea

(That was Sunday afternoon for me)

J.C. 23/05/2019.
Jayne E May 2019
Supine
in your arms
you carried me home
as your dead lovers corpse
my perfumed tresses let down
fine filaments
dragging
on the ground
almost
we walked
this walk
this way
many times
always in dead of night
mobile living dead
installation art
in motion.
Your face you would hold
expressionless
my body
I made limp.
in your loving
arms.
Feign
this way
we would.

Your lover has died
you carried her home
blue velvet dress
catching moonbeams light
sash tied at back
dragging in the dirt.

Home with me
in your arms
you would
undress me
bathe my body
lovingly
then
carry me to your bed
gaze upon me
as was
your love ritual
and
bed me,
breathe me
back to life.
Until
we took
our lovers walk
again.

J.C. 12/12/1991
Jayne E May 2020
I want to reveal
my underbelly
to you
that soft warm
sweet spot
I want to expose
all of my
vulnerable places
to you
trust you'll
not slide the blade in
twist it at the hilt
tearing the silk at its seams
set my world to tilt
I want to get lost
in your forest floor eyes
be mesmerised
by flecks of amber fire
press my belly against
your belly warm
feed the desire deep
so ferociously sweet
like a raging tropical storm
surrender control
give over to it let go
lose myself with you
in the tumble and roll
lean into your swell
not needing to know
where the compass is drawn
float on a current of love
through inked velvet night
to warm golden dawn
I want to flood my senses
with the taste of your essence
imprint my skin with your scent
set you apart
my diurnal rhythms tuned
to the beat of your heart
journey your body
with my lips
my tongue
my body and fingertips
map you with kisses
chart your territories
with caresses
stroke your skin
with my loosened
fallen tresses
shipwreck myself
on the island of your bones
lay my head upon your chest
feel your metronomic pulse
the soothe & rest
of your breath on my brow
breathe you in
as my air
rain kisses on you
everywhere
until my lips bruise
and smart
all pain
ceased to exist
the moment
you gave me
your love
and stole my heart.


© J.C.
Jayne E May 2019
For ny honey-bee...

something must be wrong with me
if even eating a mandarin
has me thinking of thee

hot sultry passionate thoughts
not really ones usually fraught
with ***** longings & mind fed scenes
oh lordy, here come the nectarines

I guess it harks back to when you fed
me your luscious fruitful breakfast in bed
did things with fruit that made me blush
talking your sweet time in no real rush
to savour the flavours of every bite
another new chapter for our lovers rites
so now as I eat mandarins sitting in bed

all I see now as juice bursts is you in my head
and as the citrus scent fills my nose
I can't even whisper where my mind goes
to make oneself blush is no mean feat
yet it has me squirming, jump in my seat

no innocent poem about sweet mandarin
rather the undone state you have me in

J.C. "honey-owl" 04/05/2019.
Jayne E Aug 2019
take me -
fervent
your voice
breathe me in
- I need you -
growled quietly
against my skin
causing
vellus erectile
the fever to begin
tongues tip tease
dragged on belly skin
lengthy peregrination
until caresses appease
aching yet never wanting
these sensations to abate
to reach the culmination
be settled and satiated
inner storms begin
as fault lines shiver
then start to crack
each kiss you deliver
tongue untied tripping
the light fantastic
slowly down my back
cumulonimbus burst
pulse thunders in my head
those fault line breaths
feed the rumble
and shake of our bed
tremors begin
amid the toss and tumble
the gentle earthquake
starts
raising shiver to shudder
tremble quiver & shake
twin beating hearts
as the world dissolves
breaking down my walls
brick by brick
my honey
gives such visceral
real love - baby
this no simulacrum trick
climactic colours fulminate
kaleidoscopic
behind my eyes
when you draw out
deep ******* sighs.

J.C. honey-baby 02/08/2019
Jayne E Aug 2020
take me to Monterey


take me to Monterey
let's find a secret beach
play with me
in the shallows
lay with me
in the warm golden sand
take me to Monterey
let's find
a secret hideaway
kiss me
under a waterfall
that cascades
onto golden sand
take me to Monterey
walk with me
hand in hand
I want to feel
warm sand
between my toes
I want to look
into your eyes and know
when I'm with you
I'm always home
take me to Monterey

J.C.
Jayne E Jun 2019
Black raindrops splat splot
icy streaking window pane
hot tears my cheeks stain.


tock tick backwards clock
teeth bared the monsters do knock
pushing dawn tick tock

J.C. honey-owl 23/06/2019 - 4.34am.
Two haikus that seemed to me to work together...
Jayne E Jul 2019
Tender.

tender
the sound of my name from your lips

tender
the way you tease me with funny quips

tender
the break in your voice for my pain

tender
the infinite tiny kisses you do rain

tender
the way you never tire of my voice

tender
the sound of your sighs oh how I rejoice

tender
the feel of your breath on my necks nape

tender
the warmth of your arms when we wake

tender
the sleepy vows of love and affection

tender
the communication shared with no deflection

tender
the way you warm up my toes when cold

tender
the desire to be together until we're old

tender
the embraces never ending after our ***

tender
the love we share simple yet so complex

J.C. honey-baby 02/07/2019.
Jayne E Dec 2019
when I see you
petting your beloved cat
and the new big fluffy one
who recently adopted you
cat whisperer that you are
it's not exactly envy
that comes over me
yet I can't help it
when I see
your wonderful hands
in caress
but wish
they were stretching and bending
stroking and tickling
me
discovering
all my hidden places
that when caressed
make me purr
A rough first draft...
Jayne E Dec 2019
Gwerful Mechain - (1460 - 1502)

The female genitals


Every foolish drunken poet,
boorish vanity without ceasing,
(never may I warrant it,
I of great noble stock,)
has always declaimed fruitless praise
in song of the girls of the lands
all day long, certain gift,
most incompletely, by God the Father:
praising the hair, gown of fine love,
and every such living girl,
and lower down praising merrily
the brows above the eyes;
praising also, lovely shape,
the smoothness of the soft *******,
and the beauty's arms, bright drape,
she deserved honour, and the girl's hands.
Then with his finest wizardry
before night he did sing,
he pays homage to God's greatness,
fruitless eulogy with his tongue:
leaving the middle without praise
and the place where children are conceived,
and the warm ****, clear excellence,
tender and fat, bright fervent broken circle,
where I loved, in perfect health,
the **** below the smock.
You are a body of boundless strength,
a faultless court of fat's plumage.
I declare, the **** is fair,
circle of broad-edged lips,
it is a valley longer than a spoon or a hand,
a ditch to hold a ***** two hands long;
**** there by the swelling ****,
song's table with its double in red.
And the bright saints, men of the church,
when they get the chance, perfect gift,
don't fail, highest blessing,
by Beuno, to give it a good feel.
For this reason, thorough rebuke,
all you proud poets,
let songs to the **** circulate
without fail to gain reward.
Sultan of an ode, it is silk,
little seam, curtain on a fine bright ****,
***** in a place of greeting,
the sour grove, it is full of love,
very proud forest, faultless gift,
tender frieze, fur of a fine pair of testicles,
a girl's thick grove, circle of precious greeting,
lovely bush, God save it.
Mediaeval poetess, female ****** power, history
Jayne E Dec 2019
The Hunters Knife.

Let's play a game missy
A game of hide and seek
one where I do the hiding
but also I do seek
I'll give you one chance
to solve the unsolvable
beware if you guess wrong
what I have hidden there
the blade will linger long
my hunters knife
will come to collect
a little blood, just a little
from thee miss,
not enough to be noticed
not enough to be missed
close your eyes
while I bind your wrists
dry your eyes
mute your sighs
or the hunters knife will collect
a little cut a little stab
not too shallow
nor too deep
just enough
to make thee bleed,
make thee bleed missy
bleed for me.
do you like my game,
girl child trapped in time
held here eternal by me

Hush now
don't sob for
your lost innocence
I'm far from finished
with you yet.
I'll sing you a lullaby child
close your eyes
go to sleep
and whilst all soft
in slumber you lie,  
from your heart
the joy I will thieve
Hush now girl and sleep
for while all soft
you lie in slumber asleep,
the joy from your eyes
I will break
when from deepest sleep
you stir and wake
forever mine
is  your soul to keep.
I will take all
you don't have to give
then I will take some more
for by mornings break
sweet child
no longer a sweet miss
broken you'll be my *****

Tell me child
how you love my game
of hunters hide and seek
any answer you can give
will never be right
will never set you free
the only victors of this game,
my hunters knife and me.

© J.C.
This was written quite some time ago, but directly relates to my last poem "silver dollar shimmer"

Torture, abuse, childhood, lost innocence,
Jayne E Jun 2022
The Kiss

Blissfully lost in you
the wetness
inside your mouth
matches the
rhythmic rain
falling
for you
in a city doorwell
this kiss is
The Kiss
by which all kisses
must forevermore
be measured
we persist
oblivious
to the 9-5'er passers-by
never have I been
so beautifully kissed
time dissolves
stars align as
our kiss blossoms
evolves
lips locked
in bliss
hearts set free
in this moment
forever I'm yours..

©J.C.


(An older poem written many years ago)
Jayne E May 2019
The Last Guard

He is valiantly soft persisting
the last guard he stands resisting
My lone cicada holds post fast
As summers last day has now past

His rhythmic chirp my metronome
reminding me I am in his home
as if he knows my need of him
he lingers firm not upon a whim

It signals me my place is small
in the greater scheme of natures all
his droning songs feed every verse
I know I'm dust speck in this universe

The time to take, to bleed our home
of all Her bounty her fertile loam
has long since expired now so will She
if we do not stop the bleed, let her be

It well may be too late as is the case
As 'man' frantic sets off on space race
Seeks out a new fresh and outer world
To what? Again his poison gas unfurl?

If we have killed her slayed our Mother
beyond the point of lasting recover
harsh it may seem but our bed we made
now lie in it is our future paved and laid.

For my children's children I do softly cry
teach them, beseech them to know why
our lovely Mother is coming fast undone
man will lose it all until remains no one.

We failed her failed indeed to set aside
our hunger and greed sure did override
now my last cicada stays to remind me
it's his home too nature will outlive "we"

J.C. honey-tiger 06/05/2019.
Jayne E May 2019
Around the maypole as a child
My body did fly so free and wild
As feet found purchase on ground
Then flung in the air around & around

Reminding me of the ancient rites
garlended maypoles quite the sight
fertility dances and rites of hot fire
a hope of fruited land and men to sire

not to be confused with August Spies
empassioned speech saw 300,000 rise
across the seas fighting for other rights
of workers labourers fair workers plight

but of Celtic marking of the May day
of flower garlands, music all at play
I remembered these tales but a few
as around the school maypole my body flew.

J.C. honey-owl 04/05/2019.
Jayne E Jun 2020
silent kindnesses given
without want of praise
smiles of warmth
caught
on the peripheral
without expectation
or needy of return
compassion
an empathetic heart
can soothe
ones deepest woes.

© J.C.
Jayne E Jul 2019
Then

it was most
elusuve a chimera,
hidden and veiled
a reluctant host
by machine enigma
loves suggestive ghost

Now

your anima blended
with my feminine psyche
masculinity lended
a pairing possibly unlikely
delta apex merging
waters of life surging
unity of life how it frees
and what love gives
whilst on her knees
harmonic blends
flowers stretch then bend
soft dappled morning
when night into day
sleepily yawning
draws me in near
pulling me
into your stratosphere
breath on my shoulder
awakens my desire
encourages you bolder
ignites our fire
here in this moment
all sadness forgotten
you now loves proponent
loves filaments spun
like silken cotton
sheets over us and undone
prismatic lights dance
behind my eyes
as you blend and unbend
my lovers sighs.


J.C. baby-owl 01/08/2019.
Jayne E Sep 2019
It is Maori language week here in NZ, so...

Ko te ahua o taku aroha

He ngawari taku aroha
Ka pupuhi nga puawai ngawari
i runga kahui puna mahana
Kei te takaro toku aroha
he matotoru
kopikopiko i roto i te tito aroha
Ko taku aroha he ra raumati
takai te kare
ite marama me te mahana
Aroha katoa ahau
te kotahi te honi pi
huri noa i ahau i roto i toku ngakau
~~~~~~~*~
and in translation..

The nature of my love

my love is gentle
soft petals blown
on a warm spring breeze
my love is playful
a tender tickle
enveloped in a loving tease
my love is a summer day
wrapped in emotion
clearly felt and warm
my love is all for you
the one true honey-bee
as around my heart you swarm.

J.C. honey-tiger 09/09/2019.
Jayne E May 2019
I need to feel something
other than myself, today, sifted,
blown apart and separated,
exalted touched venerated

need to feel sighed back to life,
renewed, recharged and
clitorally activated by someone
other than myself, other than
masturbated, getting underrated,
validated and well just outdated

need to feel the wet wet wet to forget by an others hand tongue lips teeth, *****, **** fingertips

or by voice to direct instruct
enjoin adjure command, by demand
the shuddering rivers choked internal,
to be undammed released,
with earthquakes trembles freed,
to deliver me swept downstream

by currents bidden on tied of your
steadied voice and fervency driven,
beyond what's taken and what's given,
need to taste blood drawn by lip bitten
stroked and coaxed, choked little kitten

if my mind thought sick
then dis ease me please,
I beg forgiven, just sweet release me,
from this prison of stifled moans groans,
held on loan while desire lay risen

this need is real uncontrived,
it can't be hidden much longer,
need this dam to burst,
shatter crack and shiver
lest it perish me, or my me will wither
in decline waste away to dust,
repine disappear with her

I need this need please please me steady,
unlade this load cargo it is heavy,
these aching ***** much more than ready,
to fill the cup with nectar heady
to feel the rush the pull and push,
on my knees begging please, I need.

J.C. 18/03/2019.
Word of warning this one is s little spicy, explicit in parts...
Jayne E May 2019
Its just words laid on the page
how we feel in our own spiel
keeping it real, on love, loss, rage
the penners pen scribing a path
along loves true way or
drawing a laugh
whichever way
you like to play
with word
heard
or silent
soft or violent
building with our lines
strings of projection
seeking depth of connection
reaching in or reaching out
all is positive when ink does spout
its a penners way of working it out
what we write and how we feel
the reader seeing feeling
a different deal
perspective
can be
subjective, reflective, objective
it is for me predominantly
cathartic, a soothe, a salve
at times the release valve
writing, to me,
feels like a biological necessity
either simple or in complexity
pick up the pen
or
reading the lines
trails of emotion
one word at a time.

J.C. 26/05/2019
Jayne E Jan 2020
just like that
I felt it
the snap
the fall in my chest
dissolving inside again
the spell broken
as pain
floods back in
irrevocably scarred
by the monsters
cruel intentions
he follows me
still
lurking in the shadows
hiding in wait
inhabiting
deep dusty corners
of my mind

a self promise made

to
      never
                   ever
                               forget

the wolf
wears sheep's clothing
comes a hunting
with gleaming smile
sharpens his teeth
on the soft bones
of fair children
fills his belly
with a ragout
of broken dreams
and lost childhood
innocence


the hunters knife
sliced away
all my goodness
left fear
left mistrust
left pain
left emptiness
in goodness's place

could I be too broken
to ever be good again
when simple words
misspoken
sets parralel tracks
a moving together
in beautiful sync
on a collision course
becoming a train wreck
the track snaps
love at its neck

the spell is broken

and

I remember
I remember
I remember
I remember
why I have remained

                      
                           alone.


to love
to open up
to be vulnerable
to trust
to allow myself
to be loved
is it
too late?

my shattered pieces
have very sharp edges
such a good man
such a good heart
too good
to lacerate
vicariously injure
to hurt by proxy
too good

for me.

© J.C.
Jayne E Oct 2019
We don't stay 23
to the end
the body shifts
it yields
it stretches
and it bends
grows
fertilised life
coughs it out
labours rife
delivered
to waiting
stangers hands
the mid wife
the ooh lahs
the wah wahs
new life crys
strives
through shut eyes
rooting out
crying for
its mother's ******
suckles to nourish
for comfort
for succour
to flourish
at first ****
feel pull of
a now empty womb
now no more
hermetically sealed
liquid echo chamber
organic incubator
more now
evacuated
abandoned life tomb
as cords cut
signals separation
that first wail
a call for independent
new identification
what was one
now severed
becoming two
life brand new

© J.C.
Jayne E May 2021
The super flower moon is shining
golden through my window as
I lie in bed catching moonbeams
dancing over my bed
and glinting in my eye
I am thinking of you

I am thinking of you
and aching deep within my core
knowing you are sleeping
an ocean and a day between us
as we share dreamtime
under the glisten and glimmer
of the super flower moon

© J.C.
Jayne E Jun 2019
A friend once dear
told me what I now hold near
the one thing of which we can be sure
is the breath we breathe in out no more

I've thought on this many times
even when struggling with rhymes
to breathe for sure is to survive
but to live really live how to thrive?

lost in the dark the cold dark hell
for years I stumbled, I tripped, I fell
over past atrocities rained on as child
struggled with the hurting of one so mild

Years have passed not sure I'd claim wise
but, from the jaws of hell myself I prised
to search to find my bright sunnier day
again a few stumbles, bumbles on the way

Until finally the sun rose fierce and so warm
as around my heart honey-bees did swarm
as I look back now, the pain still very real
now joy too plays a part so happiness I feel

we can move past those pains carved deep
the injustices rained not needed to keep
imprisoned or freed the choice is mine
so keep breathing in out one breath a time

J.C. honey-tiger 03/06/2019.
Jayne E Feb 2020
dreaming you
sonic ally  of love
the tone comes in
enters stage right
quiets all the din
blooms open in pre dawn light
as summer on heat
exerts her beautific might
elementally present
you feel so right
your breath the air
my skin needs
to breathe
your seed the nourish
my earth it feeds
your touch the flame
that fires my heart
your infinite tiny kisses
quench my drought
to set this love apart
the tone comes in
enters stage right
colours burst in my eyes
I feel you as sound
carried by light

© J.C.
Synesthesia - when the stimulation of one sense, triggers an involuntary experience of another sense.
Jayne E Apr 2019
When the clock does tick tock
It does wake you again
in flood the rivers awash
with slithers and withering dreams
of unbidden monsters
counting unpealed screams

it's time to drown slowly
it's time to run fast
no matter her pace never
to outrun the past

filled with earth flavoured
bon bons and beach scented lies
all faithful young child slighted
by his hunters knife

it's a coat of the forest and
a gown of dead leaves
in these sad deathly hallows
my soul he did bleed.

J.C. 13/03/2019 3.30am
Jayne E Jun 2019
with passing peers
faster pass the years
and shifting gears
not so smoothly run
in moonlights bathe
our sunset days
too soon over after just begun

J.C. honey-owl 05/06/2019
Jayne E Jun 2019
It's the vibration of you
carrying love clear to see
the resonance of two
aligned, us, we, you + me

balance found
the surprising delight of
newly trod fertile ground
the ways we relate
openly communicate
unbinds joy limitless,
and so it abounds

the warmth of your belly skin
against my cheek laid dear
tender caresses do begin
with your warmest embraces
as you draw me in closer, near

breath carried tiny kisses
infinite in number
bringing too
a newly found peace
I am content and renewed
curled in your arms to slumber

emotional landscapes
painted in hues of affection
open hearts open minds
receptive & kind
no need of deflection

or even protection
safe, warm, happy at peace
to discover this sweeter love
and  true loves release.

J.C. honey-tiger 15/06/2019.
Jayne E Jul 2019
At the thick end of night all are sleeping
not me for the black thoughts creep in,
not invited in nor welcome here
doesn't stop the monsters my dear,
they all dance in of different flavours
one constant all seek my graced favour.

I'm tired.

It may be fear dancing and leaping maybe memory keeps me from sleeping,
perhaps it's shame leading dancers play
laughing to beat back at my sunnier day
or a blonded man blue iced eyes tithing
knots throwing knives & no nice thing.

I'm tired.

It's been 30 plus years stuck in here playing dodgem cars with all these fears
smash one over hit one to the side,
just for another to hit on the fly collide,
one more trip on the helter skelter slide.  

I'm tired.  

So weary tears stain cheeks eyes bleary,
will it soon end or stay this way forever
strive to untie the bond break the tether
but the monsters ha! they know me better than any close friend, family or lover
so I'm stuck in here wed to this terror.

I'm tired.

As the clock slows beats me backwards again I paint on the smile feign the act
I'm ok to any friend say hey hey
much easier less ugly to just pretend
rather than confess admit to say
I'm unable to unbend the bend
straighten the wires and unrip
so to interrupt the continuum slip.

I'm tired.

As thick pushes through into pointy end of dissolving night  
with pale washed out insipid
weak tea pre-dawn light
still no relent
no peace
no love
no joy
no relief in sight
I wonder if it'll ever sever
or never again going to be alright.

I'm tired.

J.C. honey-tiger 01/07/2019.
Jayne E Jun 2019
When the hands of time
get lost in the rhyme
when they pull you back back
and space does crack crack
it's torment in a truckloads ride
with fraught mind nowhere to hide


it's the real life boogey man
showing you just how he can
take you down down in one blink
then sleep is here & on the brink
of hell you teeter totter pirouette
the curtains shut the scene is set


back back you hurl back in time
to the darkest days & the darker nights
it's the ice cream truck that never comes
it's the cold blades glint as warm blood runs
it's the sun shining just over there
it's the monster creeping ever near


when the sun won't rise fast enough
his smooth skin hands bring the rough
and the dance won't stop only the clock
frozen in time backwards tock tick tock
it's the sickening taste of copper & dirt
& knife slices are the least of the hurt


when the scars dont heal just remain
it's the constant bleed the lingering pain
of a child's heart broken & left to rot
it's never enough & its an awful lot
see the world dissovle see trust rust
feed the need inside the want the must
try to grasp on tight a filament of hope
or contemplate swinging rough rope


it's these lines bleeding all over the place
searching seeking a familiar warm face
is it giving in or is it reaching out
or just more my sickened pen to spout
even after he's long & cold in earth deep
it's the knowing I am his forever to keep
my stolen child my innocence my hope
the faint scars left in skin of rough hewn rope.

J.C. 05/06/2019.
Ok so apologies for the 'darker' writes recently, its just how it is when past atrocities rear their ugly head, and thr monster comes creeping into your dreams/nightmares.
Jayne E Aug 2019
tonight I miss you
my love intensifies from afar
tonight I miss you
so my dreams are all of you
tonight I miss you
my body knows not what to do
tonight I miss you
with a burning deep need
tonight I miss you
this desire yearns to be freed
tonight I miss you
like honey is to honey bees
tonight I miss you
my love begs on gentle knees
tonight I miss you
with fire tearing at my *****
tonight I miss you
my being burns for us to enjoin
tonight I miss you
in thick black velvet night
tonight I miss you
our love shines light so bright
tonight I miss you
as my lungs need air to live
tonight I miss you
the good good love you give
tonight I miss you
as the birds fly in the sky
tonight I miss you
like the moon pulls at the tide
tonight I miss you
my senses locked on overdrive
tonight I miss you
the tenderness in your kiss
tonight I miss you
darling its you I miss I miss I miss

© J.C. honey-baby 01/09/2019.
Jayne E Apr 2019
I'm not a game to be played
when feeling bold
then quickly dropped into cold
once your nerve wavers thin
affection shifting to chagrin
looks like I am tricked again
as inauthentic you crept in.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

you are not some toying thing
to be cajoled to dance and sing
as my will does ebb and flow
this is it, there you go, there you go
you hot you cold you shy you bold.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

we are not we and never where
distant boy and gold hair girl
so I do you and you do me
across the sea to shining sea
if we could I think we would
it's written now so should be good
the feels were felt deep under hood.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

there still will be the filling up
your nectar unto my loving cup
I pulled you in you pushed away
the push and pull is how we play
a pretty glisten on the morn
did offer stickily sweet to adorn
fingers tips and lips did drip.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

we switch it up we switch it down
in penners pens a friendship found
and so unbidden feels abound
I'm laid bare across your knee
my breath held pulse running round
I know you know I want it now 'la fessee'
this newly new thing sees me free

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

J.C. 08/03/2019
Jayne E Apr 2020
I'm not a game to be played
when feeling bold
then quickly dropped into cold
once your nerve wavers thin
affection shifting to chagrin
looks like I am tricked again
as inauthentic you crept in.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

you are not some toying thing
to be cajoled to dance and sing
as my will does ebb and flow
this is it, there you go, there you go
you hot you cold you shy you bold.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

we are not we and never where
distant boy and gold hair girl
so I do you and you do me
across the sea to shining sea
if we could I think we would
it's written now so should be good
the feels were felt deep under hood.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels.

there still will be the filling up
your nectar unto my loving cup
I pulled you in you pushed away
the push and pull is how we play
a pretty glisten on the morn
did offer stickily sweet to adorn
fingers tips and lips did drip.

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

we switch it up we switch it down
in penners pens a friendship found
and so unbidden feels abound
I'm laid bare across your knee
my breath held pulse running round
I know you know I want it now 'la fessee'
this newly new thing sees me free

clickety clack clickety clack
does this train on the track
I did not leap under its wheels
I pushed them down the sickly feels

© J.C.
This is a slightly tweaked rewrite of an older poem...brought back to mind after listening to train sounds during lockdown...go figure lolz.. (originally written on a train ride)
Jayne E Jun 2019
we transcend
space transmutes
time unbends
black shards
new found light
transforms
dull coal lines
to sparkled
marcasite
liquify the night
bursting
colours bright
we rearrange
time lines
slip the knot
as we redefine
follow the dot
to refine
realign
reunite in perfect time.

J.C. honey-tiger 25/06/2019, 3.05am.
Jayne E Aug 2019
Infinite tiny kisses
and how
my heart misses
a beat for you
all the tenderness
that you do
moves me deep
so many sweet things
in the love you bring
how you sing
me to sleep
then watch over me
with loving song
and wake me
gently
when my dreams go wrong
the break in your voice
for my pains of past
the depth of your love
how my heart does rejoice
these feelings for you
are more than vast
thought I'd known
true love in the past
all pales that came before
until you opened
loves true door
this rare connection
we share as one
aligned to perfection
its depth profound
all my defences undone
as emotions abound
you are the ocean
to my earth
the air
to my flame
I ache inside
I burn
I live
for when next
you call out my name


J.C. honey-tiger 09/08/2019 3.33am.
Jayne E May 2019
It's hard to say or pin the exact day
the little boy left & sunny eyes gave way
to thunderstorms and raging red mist
a desire now to hurt the one you kissed
and turned to for laughs love support
now eaten up by bitter anger all fraught

with historical pain memories from deep
come hurtling through the rage does seep
I see it I feel it I know it's ****** source
and how it's throwing your life off course
but helpless to throw you needed lifeline
as you storm and spit threatening mine

I can't live that way again not even for you
to watch you drowning is to see me blue
my hands tied bound by too many times
the fists did fall broken bones black eyes
the trigger pulls and I'm hurtling back now

so no matter no amounts of why's or how's
can pull me up to the surface for sweet air
once pulled that trigger imprisons me there
sees me stuck frozen in cold sweat panic
realisation hits home hard like the Titanic
even for you I nurtured from seed to boy
no quarter to give you now stealing my joy

if I could I would save you take the red mist
wash all your fears & forked tongue hissed
bathe you in love to carry you to be light
not set in the dark primed for any fight

so I have to let you go and do it with love
hoping praying you are able to kick above
the storming seas deep eddys pushed down
to find your sunnier day happier grounds
I'm sorry my boy but I cannot go back there
to spend all my days in uncertain cold fear

J.C. 11/05/2019.
Jayne E Nov 2019
you complete me
the missing piece
of the enigma puzzle
found
without realisation
it was ever lost
or even existed
this thing
we have found
with each other
this rare
beautiful
love
radiates
happiness
compassion
joy
inclusivene­ss
kindness
drenched
and ignited
by love
we are
twin flames
burning now
as one.

J.C. 11/11/2019 @11.11am
Jayne E Feb 2021
two breaths from dawn
the night is
caught
on loop
breathing me in
spitting me out
again
and
again
stuck in stasis
small and
wanting more
cocooned

nights tendrils
offer small comforts
a place to hide
the silence
is deafening
feeding the urgency
a filtered glimpse
of emergence
see
corners of night
pealed back
stripped bare
no succour
or blessed offerings
to be found
as the dark
spits out
dawns dusty light
your side of the bed
shivers
empty & cold
heavy
I lie in wait
less your sleeping form
emerges

all these
scissored thoughts
a shattered mosaic
birdsong crashes in
I am left
begging
for more...

J.C.
Jayne E Apr 2019
I was looking forward to our
rocking chair days
Suns rising and setting
On our front porch
It brought calm to my storming seas
Ironically, with you who tore
My soul apart
I felt the safest
I've ever known.
Til night you set my mind
to overdrive unable to
Override the real of it all
blood spilled from ****
on hotel sheets, fist mark's
under skin on thighs
belly
Bitten breast, perfect mold of teeth
left behind left breast
I wondered why
of all my wounds and tears
the teeth mark left did anger you most
as I lay in your arms, comfort seek
unaware then, twas at your command
my soul shattered & scattered upon
the wind
wondered too, why you wouldn't f*ck me well
heal me again
damaged goods I thought ok
I got it, understood
if only I'd known that you knew
exactly what occurred in suite 2315
had watched it even play by ill replay
maybe even slow mo, who can say
not I not me, my soul fragments fly around
my feet never again touching ground
no more Terra Firma for me
now I'm lost lost lost,
that peaceful calm you always
looked to me to bring
broken, tossed into the mire
along with two golden rings.
Jayne E Apr 2019
Ultima Thule aka MU69
less to do with *** position
more about new frontiers
in space of the outer kind
new horizons & what they find
while hurtling thru space - time

situation is this
currently over 6 billion km
(4 billion miles imperially)
from mother Earth
hurtling
at breakneck speed
toward
Ultima Thule.
what will they find on
space rock 2014MU69?

and when done onwards again
to seek the wall
phenomenon most mysterious
on the edge of our system of the sun
uncharged interstellar hydrogen
meets charged sun particles
from the heliosphere
meet
take a heliopause
in space

then again space race
throwing wall of light
ultraviolet
threshold dancing
will it reveal
a new dawn a new galaxial seal?
and when all said and done
billions of dollars and geeky fun
to find a space wall made from sun

J.C. "littlebird" 27/03/2019.
Jayne E May 2020
Once a lovers heart has
taken a few knocks
endured those
deep cardiac shocks
demurred
at chance advances
all in the wake of
the greatest heartbreak

it becomes and unbecomes
it depends on the unbend
the waver set in place
and we lose more
precious drops of time
rather than lose face
with it our grace
it's how goes I know

after your greatest love
is gone leaving all fallow
the idea or very thought
of love burning to nought
too much to bear once more
so we shut tight the door
consequence ourself
into situation is this...

now possibly on the shelf
for the long haul
expiry date unknown
seeking but not keeping
looking but not leaping
forsaking for fear of breaking
apart again that pain of all pain
deeply gnawed in our soul
took too much of a toll
to entertain in your heart again.

I get it I get it... But...
how then to reset it?
I want to feel brand new
un-know what I did do
un-feel the pain of you
believe in not one but two
I get it... I get it...
but cannot just forget

the devastation my heart met
when true love slipped the net
turned this heart to dust
eroded trust to rust
so now I know I must I must
be sure before I entrust
and go soft go gentle steady
only once this heart is ready.

© J.C.
This was written before I met my love....time is a wonderful thing...
Jayne E Mar 2019
Once a lovers heart has
taken a few knocks
endured those
deep cardiac shocks
demurred
at chance advances
all in the wake of
the greatest heartbreak

it becomes and unbecomes
it depends on the unbend
the waver set in place
and we lose more
precious drops of time
rather than lose face
with it our grace
it's how goes I know

after your greatest love
is gone leaving all fallow
the idea or very thought
of love burning to nought
too much to bear once more
so we shut tight the door
consequence ourself
into situation is this...

now possibly on the shelf
for the long haul
expiry date unknown
seeking but not keeping
looking but not leaping
forsaking for fear of breaking
apart again that pain of all pain
deeply gnawed in our soul
took too much of a toll
to entertain in your heart again.

I get it I get it... But...
how then to reset it?
I want to feel brand new
un-know what I did do
un-feel the pain of you
believe in not one but two
I get it... I get it...
but cannot just forget

the devastation my heart met
when true love slipped the net
turned this heart to dust
eroded trust to rust
so now I know I must I must
be sure before I entrust
and go soft go gentle steady
only once this heart is ready.



J.C. 29/03/2019
Jayne E May 2019
Stolen clutches in dark night
unspoken aches for lustful rites
fervent whispers from painted lips
over reaches to breech my cliffs
tantric tongues slow dancing slips
this inky night across flooded plains
weave the ****** hypnotic bob
through these wildly freed terrains
small quivering pulsing throb
awaken awash with sweetest desire
furtive fingers seek obtain & dance
to find inferno grimalkin lit on fire
gifted your tongue untied to entrance
proud presence stands fast and firm
accent to my sifted pearly softness
emplore me to wait as in set terms
bitten lip chained back rivers to my hips
shortened breaths restrain the slip
canters becoming gallops quicken must
push, pull, & once again this push of lust
damns all shattered now broken down
relent, release you me, free we drown.

J.C. "honey-tiger 05/05/2019.
Jayne E Jul 2019
Transformed
through light
gifted in darkest night
elevated
by love
given by a heart
dusted with
diaphonous
sparkled light
saturated
crystaliine fed
on glistened skin
elemental joy
the end of despair
the beginning of
lightness of air
and all that it means
to be with you.

J.C. baby-owl 01/08/2019.
Jayne E Jun 2020
Underwater bells ring
candles fire flickering
burning down
to waxen embered nub
thunder rumbles
as lightning strikes
flashes through
my dreamscape
kicking up through
the undertow
hoping to wake
his cool hands
pull on my ankles
trying to keep me
down with him
where deep underwater
bells ring
where deathly angels
with sweet
voices sing.

© J.C.
Jayne E Jun 2020
Underwater bells
lingering
echoes
carried in the swells
sunken sirens
sweetly sing
tempting hirens
underwater
bells ring
candles fire
flickering
burning down
to waxy
embered nub
thunder rumbles
lightning flashes
striking through
my dreamscape
kick up against
the undertow
hoping to wake
cool hands
he grips
my ankles
tight
pulling hard
fight the rip
he tries
thinks he might
keep me
here with him
where deep
underwater
bells ring
where
deathly angels
with
silken sweet
voices sing.

© J.C.
suicide, blaming, wasted genius, drowning, ghosts


So, I wrote the original, a couple of days ago, very quickly, on waking from this dream, literally scribbled it out in a minute or two, it didn't feel quite complete, whole, to me, so this is the dream in a smidge more detail...
Jayne E Jun 2020
I remember the days
of our spotless youth
perfect bodies
yet to be touched
by bearing
our children
or weathering
your fists
back when love
was still
tender sweet fruit on the vine
you lived to lay your head
upon my breast
post ******
you christened them
'the heavens'
how you offered up
prayers of adoration
with such sweet tenderness
made me believe
we would last forever

I remember the days
of our arcadian youth
you stole stars light
from moonless nights
sprinkled it my eyes
and between my thighs
you were
such an adept mountebank
playing fast and loose
with the truth
and my heart
set me up
for the greatest fall
of all

I saw a photo of you
the other day
and
finally
felt nothing.

© J.C.
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