When the hands of time
get lost in the rhyme
when they pull you back back
and space does crack crack
it's torment in a truckloads ride
with fraught mind nowhere to hide


it's the real life boogey man
showing you just how he can
take you down down in one blink
then sleep is here & on the brink
of hell you teeter totter pirouette
the curtains shut the scene is set


back back you hurl back in time
to the darkest days & the darker nights
it's the ice cream truck that never comes
it's the cold blades glint as warm blood runs
it's the sun shining just over there
it's the monster creeping ever near


when the sun won't rise fast enough
his smooth skin hands bring the rough
and the dance won't stop only the clock
frozen in time backwards tock tick tock
it's the sickening taste of copper & dirt
& knife slices are the least of the hurt


when the scars dont heal just remain
it's the constant bleed the lingering pain
of a child's heart broken & left to rot
it's never enough & its an awful lot
see the world dissovle see trust rust
feed the need inside the want the must
try to grasp on tight a filament of hope
or contemplate swinging rough rope


it's these lines bleeding all over the place
searching seeking a familiar warm face
is it giving in or is it reaching out
or just more my sickened pen to spout
even after he's long & cold in earth deep
it's the knowing I am his forever to keep
my stolen child my innocence my hope
the faint scars left in skin of rough hewn rope.

J.C. 05/06/2019.

When is karma
as anger rises
or we become
Calmer

When is karma
when we fail the test
or is it when
we stand on one
to be higher than the rest

When is karma
as we tread with care
to not hurt another
or oblivious succumb
to the snake charmer

When is karma
when others look and jeer
or when happiness calls
we find our dearest dear
then they all draw near

When is karma
is it as I close last time
your beautiful eyes
or alone in the cold bed
at night I lie

When is karma
is it the perfect dawn
of a perfect cold day
as I wake all safe and warm
when new true love is in play

J.C. honey-tiger 03/06/2019

**** seductive sensual serene super!
Open optimistic orbital original!
Mesmeric moral magnanimous mine!
Emotional exciting empath electric!
Obliging outstanding orator ohh ohh!
Natural naughty neat nice nourishing!
Excellent ****** effusive exceptional!

J.C. honey-tiger 28/05/2019

Weird not wired
I drew so did you
Not dire how we do
All the weird
that weirdos do

one weird day an'
words I? (per) se
how we found
our weird way
weirdness abound

if you weird on me
I'd love to too
weird all over you
we did weird see
weird on weird lovely

wordie ******
swim don't sink
I think in pink
weirdos in sync
I could would do
****** love you!

J.C. honey-assassin 22/04/2019.

S - ay my name and I melt dissolve
O - pen mind find my hearts resolve
M - e and you its written in the stars
E - ternally one now we never to part
O - ft knowing my words before I do
N - ever tiring of being on with you
E - nigmatic bright feeling lovely you..

J.C. honey-assassin 29/05/2019.

Adrift, floating on this sea
Solitary, darkest night encircles me.
Unable to see, I feel the
Pea soup fog enveloping me
Craving land, seeking light
Or deeply sought dual toned
diaphonic night-call,
to guide me home.

J.C. honey-assasin 29/05/2019

Its just words laid on the page
how we feel in our own spiel
keeping it real, on love, loss, rage
the penners pen scribing a path
along loves true way or
drawing a laugh
whichever way
you like to play
with word
heard
or silent
soft or violent
building with our lines
strings of projection
seeking depth of connection
reaching in or reaching out
all is positive when ink does spout
its a penners way of working it out
what we write and how we feel
the reader seeing feeling
a different deal
perspective
can be
subjective, reflective, objective
it is for me predominantly
cathartic, a soothe, a salve
at times the release valve
writing, to me,
feels like a biological necessity
either simple or in complexity
pick up the pen
or
reading the lines
trails of emotion
one word at a time.

J.C. 26/05/2019

Duplicity...
Its messy oh yes
and when the hound
refuses to confess
at best refutes indignant
the treachery then significant
when its plainly calculated
evidence piles up, saturated
deceit creeps in sideways
lies lay down on the page
under the guise of "oh so sage"
throwing up hands in mock rage
what to say? what to do?
stoop down there in your dirt
scoop it up to expose you?
or just let it slide slither
like your shed snake skin
to wither on dry forked tongue
ethics loose and low hung
to fade away for another day
of "oh woe"
no one around to stroke your ego!
oh yes I know how it rolls
that two faced scene
been read and it is obscene
professing elevation
but disdain is the revelation
caught in the trap
fly to Venus
or just to spew up vile bile
most heinous...
to speak of love is one thing
to act with love another
lip service cheap
served up on tap flowing
when the yeasts not risen
open the oven not knowing
and it falls flat on its face
finds you amidst a schism
not of your making
just a set-up
ripe for the taking
well, I guess,
I do digress
crux of the matter is
no time for duplicity
my roll is with loyalty
so all this messy messed up prose
just too obtuse
for those who stick up their nose.

J.C. honey-tiger 25/05/2019.

My baby feeds to me
foods of love
coats my lips
with sweet honey
drips
love
off his
finger tips
his tongue
warm wet sticky
explores my mouth
kisses
little bites
***** & licky
my love
my honey-bee
my honey-honey
gifts me warm
green tea kisses
green tea
mix with honey
makes the sticky
a little runny
his warm
wet
mouth
his fingers
and curious tongue
persist
insist
with love
slow dancing
in my mouth
too delicious
to resist
industrious
my honey-bee
my honey-honey
meticulous
he kisses
licks
*****
clean
all the honey
my honey-bee
my baby baby
my honey honey...

J.C. honey-tiger 25/05/2019

Let's begin
This is not for lust but rather desire
engage and ignite
united ****** fire
I want your eyes on me now
As I slowly undress
Yielding my body to you
To feast upon first with those
most intense hungry eyes
As I step slowly out of my
light summer dress

Unloosing my hair, tumbling tresses
fall down over shoulder,
as skin starts to  tingle
already a smoulder
with thoughts of what's yet to come
My lovely, my lover most lovely
we have only just begun

My breath is all tremble
as you watch me undress
delicious, delirious,
salacious unbearable bliss

Run the back of your fingers down
naked flank to my thighs
trail your fingers back up now,
the length of my spine

Now pull me to you
with firm tenderness
to feel
your every caress
your skin your skin your skin
on my skin, my skin on your skin

Kiss me deep as you hold me
pressed tight hip to hip
and ignite me now fully with
fingers and lips,
tongues dancing between us
hands lost between thighs,
so begins the beginning
of moans, ardent sighs

The need becomes urgent
shudders form deep within
I need you to taste
the graceless state
you have put me in,
I'm begging you to release me,
as the earthquakes begin

You give yourself to me
time for restraint fading fast
neither quite sure how much
longer we can last

It's now I do show you how all
my colours unfold,
it's now that
you teach me your secret  
armour fou flying bold

arms hooked under my thighs
backed up to the wall
fully with me intense
does begin my great fall

as rapture increases,
breaths both coming fast,
I cling to you perfervidly,
the hot fiery rush of release
has me fraught
thundered pulse in my head
surrender at last,
here it comes,
here I ***,
ahhhhhh....
I die I am dead
La petite Mort.

J.C. 25/02/2019

Come dance with me love
on this magical night
under the Aurora Australis
breathtaking polar light
a sight of beauty indeed
the vista of night sky
Southern lights firing
as solar winds feed
magical light show colours fly
snow beneath our feet forgotten
as breath freezes in the air
magnetic energy excites oxygen
caused by beautiful solar flares
come dance with me my darling
forgetting all our cares
under this rare gift from the Sun
although seen in the dead
of a freezing winters night
come lay in the snow
all cold now forgotten
as our pounding hearts take flight.

J.C. 23/05/2019.

Ione Plexaure Calypso
daughters of Poseidon
sisters three
temptress's of highest order
beckon me
onwards under blanket of darkness
evening star sole guiding light
nocturnes singing sweetly
deliver me through this night.
Nereid nymph's steer me
blind seafarers stolen sight
rarest fair silk drawn white
are your intimate delights,
best listen softly singing,
hearts can never leave,
but know allure,
that in those luscious seas,
bring calm waters, a gentle breeze,
my repose, my peace

J.C. 15/02/2019.

Red dragon
Black sea

White chip
Crested Tui

Blue Stilton
Green tea

(That was Sunday afternoon for me)

J.C. 23/05/2019.

Tripping the light fantastic
along the astral plane
all time runs concurrent
a secret most arcane.
The me that is now, that was then
that will tomorrow be too
all exist in their own space
running parallel in time.

As I dance through the Aether
searching for the light
astral plane dreaming
in the dead of the night.

Catch a glimpse of each me
they say that's deja vu
but have you never wondered
how it can be that you already knew
how it all plays out before you
moments before it occurs
"Already seen" say the French
closed minds may call it,
neurology, a curse.

But I know a secret,
a secret verily arcane
I've seen the world's spin in unison
whilst I tripped the light fantastic
along the Astral plane
all time moving concurrently
all versions spinning precisely
at once
the then, the now & future me
separate yet together
such a beautiful dance.

Come traverse the aether with me
take a leap, take a chance
I will show you the past & the future
all existing in the now
brush off your preconceptions
take my hand, I'll lead the way
but remember before we take flight
keep hold of an anchor
to ground you to this world
we can only visit briefly for
a moment in the night
upset the fragile balance and
all worlds will collide.

J.C. honey-tiger 11/11/2018.

I need to feel something
other than myself, today, sifted,
blown apart and separated,
exalted touched venerated

need to feel sighed back to life,
renewed, recharged and
clitorally activated by someone
other than myself, other than
masturbated, getting underrated,
validated and well just outdated

need to feel the wet wet wet to forget by an others hand tongue lips teeth, *****, **** fingertips

or by voice to direct instruct
enjoin adjure command, by demand
the shuddering rivers choked internal,
to be undammed released,
with earthquakes trembles freed,
to deliver me swept downstream

by currents bidden on tied of your
steadied voice and fervency driven,
beyond what's taken and what's given,
need to taste blood drawn by lip bitten
stroked and coaxed, choked little kitten

if my mind thought sick
then dis ease me please,
I beg forgiven, just sweet release me,
from this prison of stifled moans groans,
held on loan while desire lay risen

this need is real uncontrived,
it can't be hidden much longer,
need this dam to burst,
shatter crack and shiver
lest it perish me, or my me will wither
in decline waste away to dust,
repine disappear with her

I need this need please please me steady,
unlade this load cargo it is heavy,
these aching ***** much more than ready,
to fill the cup with nectar heady
to feel the rush the pull and push,
on my knees begging please, I need.

J.C. 18/03/2019.

This day of lovers
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I show you
Begin the day as lovers
We will end this way too
I will show you
All my secret colours
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I will take you
To my secret place
When the sun is setting low
In this lovers day sky
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I lead you through
The rambling roses
Along the cliff face
As the sun is setting
Heavy in the sultry summer sky
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
Through the reserve we go
No one knows this place but me
Perched high above the sea
My friend used to own the house behind
Shhh.... Its my secret place
You are the first I have brought here
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I will lay you down in the soft grass
Near so near the edge of the cliff
Give you all I have to give
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
Let my hair fall down around your face
As scarab pendant swings between my ******* catches the last glint
Of the setting sun
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
As I kiss your lips
Kiss your eyes
Kiss your neck
Kiss your face
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
Kiss you deep & wet
Pull you close to me now
You give all others away
We will seal it here
On the edge of the cliff
With the crashing sea below
Taste the salt on our lips
This is the day
This is the day
This is the day
I make you mine.
My Valentine...

14/02/2019. J.C.

Supine
in your arms
you carried me home
as your dead lovers corpse
my perfumed tresses let down
fine filaments
dragging
on the ground
almost
we walked
this walk
this way
many times
always in dead of night
mobile living dead
installation art
in motion.
Your face you would hold
expressionless
my body
I made limp.
in your loving
arms.
Feign
this way
we would.

Your lover has died
you carried her home
blue velvet dress
catching moonbeams light
sash tied at back
dragging in the dirt.

Home with me
in your arms
you would
undress me
bathe my body
lovingly
then
carry me to your bed
gaze upon me
as was
your love ritual
and
bed me,
breathe me
back to life.
Until
we took
our lovers walk
again.

J.C. 12/12/1991

So Close, just There...

So close, just there
Nights inky blackness,
enfolds us in warm embrace..
sultry jasmine
drifts through windows
opened to the velvet summer sky
your body heat
my homing beacon
in the dead of night,
in our too big bed

Just there, I feel it, so close,
draws me into your stratosphere .. intoxicates my senses,
carrying me to you
locked into your orbit
The nape of your neck,
(I'm already done for)
my trigger.
Your essence
so close just there.
I feel my pulse,
thrum, thrum, thrumming
blood courses through my body
as I breathe you in
I am
            lost,
                         lost,
                                        lost.

Inevitably drawn
to your musky haven,
surrendering
We were I'm sure,
formed this way,
before we were born,
you the key to me the lock,
made to fit together,
perfectly.
like our bodies
had known each other
forever.

My loving lost boy of the morning,
the only one
who ever really saw me
really knew me..
I thought...
you were forever

So close..Just there...
Your scent,
my kryptonite
& my solace,
your strong arms
my safe harbour
only my embrace
could calm your storming seas,
the timbre of my voice
salve to your wounds
Alpha to Omega,
Yin to Yang
we were..

So many secrets shared then...
so many secrets still kept...
forever you will be
My lost boy of the morning
heart open, fists closed
but I saw you.
forgotten & denied,
all your
past,
          past,
                      past,
hurts
buried deep down

I still see you
in moments of every day,
at night
you come calling
in my dreams,
Sometimes...
tears stinging my cheeks awake,
heart bruising from memories
of a beauty we once shared,
an enveloping sense of grief,
lays heavy on my soul
and sleep is lost once more.
midnight beats back the clock
like grains of slow ice.,
'til dawn breaks again.

I miss the secret 'we'
the scent
at the nape of your neck
being so close...just there
a mere reach of my hand
to find you,
in the dark,
your slow calm breaths
bringing me back
from the night terrors,
the monsters of my distant past,
trying to force their way in...
from a life past
a life before you,
my panacea
saved me from myself

Our bed, your arms,
that musky firm embrace
our whispered secrets
in the dark,
kisses first
sweetly stolen,
then savoured deeply
my cheek pressed against
your chest
the
strong
slow
steady
beat of your heart
strong fingers threaded
softly through my hair,
one powerful hand resting
in the curve of my waist,
fingertips tracing
invisible patterns on my belly.
I could have stayed that way
forever,
curled up against you,
safe from the world.
I thought.

Safe no more
Love no more
Trust no more
Still...

I miss it.
I miss it.
I miss you.
I miss the 'we' that once we were
I miss the deep love
'we' once shared
I miss...
My loving lost boy of the morning
at sleepy fingertips reach.
So close, just there...

J.C. 01/04/2010.

Ain't Life Grand..at 1.30am.

Ain't life grand when your
teenage son decides at 1.30am
to take a stomp
through the house,
feet as loud as possible
on the lovely Tawa boards,
'coz he had a 'fight' with his
gf..his bf..his best friend
over nothing
over something
blah blah blah...

knowing your tenuous
relationship with sleep,
bangs away
doors swung a 'lil too hard,
sighs heaved audibly,
yes son, yes son, wide awake now
if you want to talk,
instead choose testosterone
and I'm a ***** for asking you
to please be a little more gentle
in the middle of the night.
single parenting,
ain't life grand,

as 'he' sleeps blissfully
on the other side of the city,
unaware of either his child's
best friends name,
or their most favourite things,
colours, songs they sing
quietly to themselves
when relaxed disarmed
alone with their thoughts.

ain't life grand as sleep,
gone now the way of
too many dried tears,
runny noses,
and skinned knees,

son sheepishly tapping now
on my door, with sorrys and
I love you's and
that was not cool of me mum.
well I'm awake now son
if you need a cuppa, a hug
and a chat at 2am,
or anything,
ain't life grand.

it's nothing,
it's everything,
it is.
It is the empty half of the bed,
sheets cold still tucked
it's not getting ******,
no comfort to be had,
except for my
constant companions,
my cicadas,
chirping rhythmically
on and on outside
the open summer windows.

Ain't life grand, monster o'clock
right around the corner now,
just beyond the breech,
any point in trying to grasp
a handful more
of tattered sleep
lost.

I want to scream it
into the still dark night
to all those peaceful bodies,
curled together in
ignorant Innocent bliss,
wake up! wake up! wake up!
yeah, ain't life grand.

J.C. 30/03/2019.

You did not beat me
you did not abuse me
you did not ****** me
you did not see me
you did not talk to me
you did not need me
you did not love me
until you needed me to change
your **** bag,
until you needed me to
feed you naso-gastrically
until you needed me
to push the morphine
until you needed me a kid
at 13, to minister to you
tell you not to be afraid to die
that it was going to be alright.
until you needed to confess
to me, the sins of the father
until it was just me and you
mother brother spinning off
to the edge of the world
not coping not dealing
like I could do.
until you needed me to soothe
you like you never soothed me
offer you comfort like you
never did comfort me
until you needed me to see you
like you were blind to me
even tho I was right in front of you
all my life in your life
until you needed to tell me,
"I love you daughter", not for me
but for you.
until you needed me to tell you,
"I forgive you dad " and I do.
until you needed me to see you die
then you were gone, and for me
nothing new, situation remains
the same
unchanged.

J.C. mid 1987... Written at age 15.

Heidelberg
Heidelberg
Sing to me
Beautiful
Noisy
Rhythm
I hear
4 true colours
Sweet smell
Of
Ink.
Of
Oil.
Heidelberg
Heidelberg
I'm in love
With
You
Your pistons
Your wheels
Your
Smooth repetition
Sweetly
Engineered
Appeal abounds
I could
Happily be
Stuck
In a room
With just you
For days.

05/08/1995 J.C.

PRELUDE
________
[ I would engage but disengaged
enamoured masked fetid cage.
To sit spit splutter to cough it up
spit it all out
all over the pensive penners page
words turned ugly fugly loves pup ]
_________

Alla allua all al alala allis all is
Well that blends the well,
Wait! Wait!
(bit nipply in here)
nope that's not quite it, try,
All is ill that bends will..ok
One more go,
All is well that ends well
Right?   rite!  write? ok, ok,
this has been happenin for days,
pen sieves    
spent    
spinning lines
All over the place,

Whirling dervishes spinning fine
lines crossing, sparkling, in my kind
mind, finds the bind, blinds, then unbinds
Better yet     Get    in     behind
(Aussie shepherds call out)
Oh holy **** dressed up like a duck
Ok..I got this, really I do,
let's seem to find a seam take two,
better yet...mark it...scene set & action!

Bn California dreamin
stealin,
creamn,
little kittys pretty
Vannah & Clementine
their morning rituals feeding lines
a ***** pushing
faucet fed H20
odd observations
one kink 4 kitty cat
prefers to take her water right on tap
still my keys go  
tap   tap   tap
Queen Vannah aloof saunters to lap
to sit to think,
not counter fed drink,
she's way too cool for school,
what were we talking about?
it gets little hard to think
you standing naked
smiling
by the kitchen sink

Ahhhhh...love..the emotions spout,
refer crazy prior lines
fed by loves fire,
tossing feelings
up,
down,
in and out,
twist it,
turn it, up, down
shake it out

there is love of lovers,
there is love of mothers,
there is love of others,
sisters, cousins, friends, brothers
those kind of others
the cliché would say...
"It finds you when you stop seeking"
or,
"expect it when you least expect it"
usually historically my reply maybe,
yawn -
mass conditioning speaking

funny tho how things work out,
how someone says
"how you feeling"
transmutes transcends
to not ok...
then,
just flat out ascends
to big bursting clouds  
bountiful love reeling in,
from a kind word uttered
love
begins,
again

the hearts flower slowly opens
it's the hope
love carries upon it's soft
scented breeze,
it's the joy
love communicates
whilst on her knees,
and the tenderness
felt between them
she, he, the we,
in the squeeze

bunches of fist clutched sheets
bitten lips my heartbeat
thundering in my head
language of panted moans
native to our bed
fingers pressed
the the back of your head
your features lost
between my legs


ahhhh, yes, yes, yes!
loves steady heartbeat
the     thrum    thrum      thrum
wondrous beating
upon loves drum,
and how each new fresh
transformative experience
of love
transcends the past,
as again we relish,
the skipped beats
warm moistened seats,
the play the foray
a new wave way

as sweetly tendered lovely love,
delivers up finely sublime
all soaked delicious
steeped in rhyme,
that elusive now found,
brighter sunny day.
so, to end, what of love?
well,
Id say,
let it play,
oh all for lovely love,
let it play!

J.C. "honey owl" 28/04/2019.

Curled up on the sofa
under the cover of imposed night
curtains pulled tight against the light
Black Mirror flickers on the screen
ticking away mostly unseen
under other covers
lovers
toes battling legs standing
their ground
lines drawn then rubbed out
could stay here forever
chasing our never
never land hand to hand
combat of a playful kind
time wiles serves to unbind
all of the nots undone in sighs
all of the "why's" kissed goodbye
and you my darling by my side
next time it's Ozark or killing Eve
but today Black Mirror I believe.

J.C. honey-toast 13/05/2019.

If love bids you to could you love me
If joy bates you would you en-joy me too
If hope ignite you will you share the spark
If calm greets you can you soothe me too

When light brights you can you see me lit
When song fills you plead gift a little bit
When happy your day send some my way
When kisses dust thee I plead kiss me play

Now you're seen I bid you gaze upon me
Now your heart soars lift me up to thee
Now sun graces you come warm up me
Now moondust shines do glisten over me

After you catch me bid you still chase me
After sleep befalls you please lullaby me
After lust ignites you I beg set me alight
After sated supine let me love you right

J.C. honey-tiger 06/05/2019.

Golden silence unbroken...

After the thick fog lifts
Having muffled then muted
all of the nights sounds
and the dawns quiet sun rises
dusting golden light
on moistened leaf and petal
golden rays emanate
through exaggerated dew drops
silent morning not quite broken
the pea soup chased fauna away
and the hushed cold pre-dawn
keeps all a slumber
not a sound to be heard
not a bird in flight
or a single dampened leaf
trod on silent forest floor
as golden rays strike
through dew laden branches
casting patterns of dappled
golden sparkling light
all around.....
but to be heard or found....
not one single sound...

J.C. honey-tiger 06/05/2019.

The Last Guard

He is valiantly soft persisting
the last guard he stands resisting
My lone cicada holds post fast
As summers last day has now past

His rhythmic chirp my metronome
reminding me I am in his home
as if he knows my need of him
he lingers firm not upon a whim

It signals me my place is small
in the greater scheme of natures all
his droning songs feed every verse
I know I'm dust speck in this universe

The time to take, to bleed our home
of all Her bounty her fertile loam
has long since expired now so will She
if we do not stop the bleed, let her be

It well may be too late as is the case
As 'man' frantic sets off on space race
Seeks out a new fresh and outer world
To what? Again his poison gas unfurl?

If we have killed her slayed our Mother
beyond the point of lasting recover
harsh it may seem but our bed we made
now lie in it is our future paved and laid.

For my children's children I do softly cry
teach them, beseech them to know why
our lovely Mother is coming fast undone
man will lose it all until remains no one.

We failed her failed indeed to set aside
our hunger and greed sure did override
now my last cicada stays to remind me
it's his home too nature will outlive "we"

J.C. honey-tiger 06/05/2019.

Braiding

I'm braiding my hair
at 2.31am
Over
U
N
D
E
R
Over again
Feeling your fingers
Thru my hair
A playful tug
Here__&__there
This one of our love rituals
Avoiding the habitual
Making a silky rope
Plaiting with hope
Our braiding holds
Over
U
N
D
E
R
Over again
Braiding my hair at 2.31am...

J.C. honey-tiger 01/05/2019.