I'll never forget how we almost had ***.

I was the first girl you had ever been with and you thought
I was beautiful.

Fingers over ******* you were so worried.

You never let me come
and then you stopped coming
around.

Never fall in love with a straight girl.

There were a few.

Let me say some key words.

Mall, Down Fall of rain. One umbrella shoes off.

Totoro, I already loved you.

Lockers, notes,

I asked you to prom.

Talks of *** and talks of love.

I finally made my move.

Hand on your knee, you saw right through me.

Kisses after dark getting no sleep.

Goodbye, goodbye.

You found a man.

Goodbye, goodbye
why are you still in my bed.

Goodbye, goodbye hannah.

I'll probably never not have you on my mind.

First love, you.

Blankets by the stream, lunches outside.

I took your side against my best friend when you threw a banana peel.

Anyways. My dear. My could be best friend.

I still see you in my dreams and I guess thats enough for me.

If I could,

I would like to capture that summer.

At least, what I can remember.

Right now I am drunk and thinking about you.
And even though I know it's over and what happened for a reason I...

I don't know Hannah, maybe writing to you like this can help with passing by you.

They say time heals all wounds but it's been a thousand moons since I've last seen you.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not singing this song because I still want you.

I mean I still love you but I also love someone else for the right reasons.

For sure.

But still, I can't get the colour of your hair and eyes off my mind.

Sometimes... Anyways.

If you could have at least given me the common decency to let me down easy.

You didn't have to drop me like a beached tree after Christmas.

I think the reason I still think about you is because you never said goodbye.

And although I don't cry about it anymore...

I still think about it.

Thanks for the poems I guess.

It's interesting.

Falling in love for the first time?

As many years can pass, and the memories you make, and all the lovers you take.

You can never quite shake,

that first time.

That first smile, that first feeling

in your gut.

And you know what
I'm talking about.

Back then she was the cream to my coffee
,the colour of my world.

God forbid she didn't show up to school.

And when she didn't I would drop notes in her locker, some called me a stalker but no...

I was just in love.

Head over heals, deep in the feels, wanted to reel in that catch.

She was a catch and she had a great *** and I told her that.

At least.

The first time we kissed can only be described as bliss.
It was at that moment I knew the true meaning of fireworks.

And the last time we kissed I told her I loved her and
maybe that was my first mistake.

Because inevitably even though she knew that,
it scared her away.

Out of my grasp and even though time passed she chose to forget me.

To this day.

I don't know where you are Hannah.

But a part of me will always love you.

My mom always asks me if

I write my poems somewhere that they can be copy written to protect

my stuff.

Usually I just laugh.
I mean, it's not like it matters.

For me, a poem is like a drunken tweet that I send away into the wind.

Or in this case,
the internet.

And even if someone wanted to copy me
I would see it as flattery.

Before coming after them for a credit.

All I know is I can come up with

poems,
upon poems,
upon poems.

My new years resolution is to write everything that comes to mind.

No more wasting time or saying I'll write it later.

Because I never do.

Do you remember how christmas used to feel when you were a child?

It was magical. For me anyways.

Although I came far from a wealthy family, my parents still made it

magic.

The feeling is almost indescribable, what it was back then.

The month of December, and even November, being something I always remember.

Seeing lights, seeing trees, seeing stars.

Hearing the music while riding back seat my parents car.

It all feel so far,

away.

Even though today I made new memories and new magic.

I sat around a table with my girlfriend and her family in the middle of the city.

A place I'd always dreamed I'd be.

With a ******* my side, my hand on her thigh.

This is the year I realized Christmas can have a new magic.

It's not gifts under the tree and although I always knew that...

It feels different this year, and although tomorrow feels like just another day.

I've made magic in my own way.

Happiness,

Is but an elixir.

Yet to be brewed, yet to be even thought about.

It can be so hard,

so **** hard.

And yet, for some reason we push through.

Do you ever stop and wonder, why all that is exits.

Why are we here and what is the purpose?

I hate that I hate the past.

And I hate that I can't see the future.

I hate stupid privileged kids who never have to worry about their outcome.

And I hate that I have succumbed to the sadness.

The realness, the pain.

I no longer enjoy the smell of the rain.

Everything is numb and I am dull.

Please, oh please let me get over this lull.

Life has this way of ******* you over.

People die, and people grow older.

Can I please regain my sense of sanity.

That child hood fantasy.

Something,

Anything.