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Cherry-pick your exposure
that you won't have to deal
with those parts of yourself
making you uncomfortable:

Keep running from the inside
if you so insist;
running in smaller circles,
I want to witness it:
faint from the dizziness.
I know
mostly
I don't even write anymore
in my streaks of
4 o'clock
the words barely come to my throat
and then fall into a knot
clotted coughs
taste like red roots and hip hop
 Feb 2014 Lappel du vide
EP Mason
She is a thick acrylic
she'll latch on to your canvas
she is the vibrant red of your beating heart
the rainstorm blue in your eyes
she will never fade away
there are millions of layers to her
that you can never strip

I am a washed out watercolour
a faint sweep of the spectrum
a drab and fleeting glance
dilute me
and it's like I was never there
the part of your pallet
that you will forget come morning
© Erin Mason 2014
things surface in the darkness
fair and foul alike
from these dark waters
i have swam and wept these ashen waters
when the fevers of fear and sadness
have swept over me drowning me in
their hostile dreams
when the dark overwhelmed me
when the worlds rough hand has toppled the
ivory towers of greed and lust

i found refuge in this darkness
where your face need not be your own
where skill with pen or sword achieve the same ends
but  these long years on the narrow mile
tilling the dead soil have only harvested shadows
i wish for better crops to be sown which to
set the paintbrush of my pen upon
so i stand here at the gap in the breezeway
and step tentative to the light
to meet favour and fortunes
or death and shadow

should i meet death
i shall drink and sup with him
break unleavened breads and regale him
with fanciful tales of the far east
distract him while you slip away
to plant the seeds of our hopes
or wreak the havocs of our dooms
i shall be as a companion of this mad reaper
i shall be as counsel and cage to his worried mind
keeping at bay the ravenous hounds of his delight
and feeding the crying children of his fears
for are we not all children of light
and we should not turn aside this chance to bend
the fates in our favour
against this strong foe
should i meet death and live to tell the tale
i shall feast this night
and drink the strong ale
Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?
Well, my daddy left home when I was three,
and he didn't leave much to Ma and me,
just this old guitar and a bottle of *****.
Now I don't blame him because he run and hid,
but the meanest thing that he ever did was
before he left he went and named me Sue.

Well, he must have thought it was quite a joke,
and it got lots of laughs from a lot of folks,
it seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
and some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue.

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean.
My fist got hard and my wits got keen.
Roamed from town to town to hide my shame,
but I made me a vow to the moon and the stars,
I'd search the ***** tonks and bars and ****
that man that gave me that awful name.

But it was Gatlinburg in mid July and I had
just hit town and my throat was dry.
I'd thought i'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon in a street of mud
and at a table dealing stud sat the *****,
mangy dog that named me Sue.

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
from a worn-out picture that my mother had
and I knew the scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old
and I looked at him and my blood ran cold,
and I said, "My name is Sue. How do you do?
Now you're gonna die." Yeah, that's what I told him.

Well, I hit him right between the eyes and he went down
but to my surprise he came up with a knife
and cut off a piece of my ear. But I busted a chair
right across his teeth. And we crashed through
the wall and into the street kicking and a-gouging
in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell you I've fought tougher men but I really can't remember when.
He kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laughin' and then I heard him cussin',
he went for his gun and I pulled mine first.
He stood there looking at me and I saw him smile.

And he said, "Son, this world is rough and if
a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
and I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I gave you that name and I said 'Goodbye'.
I knew you'd have to get tough or die. And it's
that name that helped to make you strong."

Yeah, he said, "Now you have just fought one
helluva fight, and I know you hate me and you've
got the right to **** me now and I wouldn't blame you
if you do. But you ought to thank me
before I die for the gravel in your guts and the spit
in your eye because I'm the nut that named you Sue."
Yeah, what could I do? What could I do?

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun,
called him pa and he called me a son,
and I came away with a different point of view
and I think about him now and then.
Every time I tried, every time I win and if I
ever have a son I think I am gonna name him
Bill or George - anything but Sue.
I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.
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