You would tell me you loved me only when I was on you
We had *** in the street once at 2 am
Warm asphalt under our skin

You would moan that you loved me as you came inside me
I wonder if you noticed I never told you I loved you
unless we were fully clothed

The first time I told you I loved you
we were eating homemade peach ice cream
and you were wearing your favorite red jacket
and we were talking about the planets at 8 pm by a hidden pond

The first time you told me you loved me
you were wearing crumpled plaid boxers around your feet
and we were writhing in the back seat of your tinted jeep at the park

The last time you told me you loved me
we were in my bed at 3 am running from the police
and you were in my mouth trying to create a victory that involved
me swallowing

And its funny that way

I was always swallowing bits and pieces of you
and even now I seem to be constantly on the verge of regurgitating memories and moments I thought had long since been forgotten

They say if you love someone, let them go

I let you fly like a paper airplane across a classroom
and you haven’t returned yet

your love is too tainted
[by the memory of a boy
who will never be more
than a memory]
to give anybody else.

"I love you" should not be used as a choke chain
it should not bring you crawling back

You should have no Master

Anyone who says love hurts has been on a leash
I am no different
I too have marks around my neck

If you really want to hurt me do not call me
***** or sadist or selfish

If you really want to hurt me add a razors edge
when you whisper that I am
undeserving and weak

Pour salt on my pillow when you approach my sleeping form
and tell me I am not
mysterious or interesting

And I’ll pretend I was asleep the entire time
Another incident of hate put to rest with my sleepy head

And when I leave in the morning you will put the collar laced with lies around my neck

But love is about appreciation not possession
and you have never loved nor owned me

I want to brush my teeth until my mouth forgets your name
and I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do

and I’m sitting by my phone waiting for it to ring
I’ve been here for three hours and nothing yet

I’m painting my nails purple in hopes of brightening
my ever decreasing levels in spirit

you want to know how I got these scars?

I fought a few demons
and i got locked in my closet with your skeletons as well as mine

you know you make my eyes burn

and I’ll never let anyone break me

I tried to poison your pictures

I stuck pins in a doll I made of you

I don’t want to be my mother and sit in my room on Sundays
with the door shut and blinds drawn
and use a headache as excuse of heartbreak

The rain fell in buckets that night
hair slicked to weary faces
and gazes which condemned the stars for shining
the gaping maw of it’s almost over now
is rapidly approaching
and we chew the cud of *****
until we ***** all over ourselves
arms ending at the wrist in ****** stumps
which spurt arterial confetti
so that the stray cats which wail at the moon
can stay fed for another day or two
how dare the sun burn so bright
in the face of such darkness
snub out the smiling masses
and cover them in soot and crude oil
the man behind the clock is laughing
between a pair of ******* aching with regret
but maybe after just one more run at it
we can pull ourselves free of salvation

*** is the topic of conversations
Youth in full grown lust and desire
Forever we join with our interactions
Tonight I will set your body on fire

Cherry colored lips I see before me
Im nervous, its not how its suppose to be
My hands shake as they caress your body
Sweet voice oh lord Help Somebody!
Our hearts lust for each other
Taking our clothes off one after each other
Seeing your body glistening in the moonlight
Oh its a sin!! Why must it feel so Right!!
I take the first step and bite your lips
You slowly wiggle and lift your hips
I am pushed back, slowly by your kisses
In my mind, " What a beauty is my Misses!!"
We gently Bite down at our necks as we look above
The starry sky, for tonight we make love