The heat your cold body brought mine made my insanity run off and hide. to watch your body sway under to hot lights in the gloomy night. oh you painted my being with love. i like to think your brown eyes were mesmerized by my blue ones. the memories of your blonde hair spread out on the pavement sting in my mind. you smelled of daisies. my cigaret buds contrasted against the grass in your backyard. i knew we only had paper thin chances to live on. our luck was bending and breaking. our hope was afraid.

Yet you saved me from myself, even when you were dying.

Our cold bodies warmed at each others touch. We danced in the sadness of the night, under the hot lights. Our souls interlaced. Coated with love, without any space. Your fingers memorized each string of hair on my head. the ***** pavement was our favorite resting place. you smelled of cigarets and mint. the ashtrays littered the vibrant grass. paper thin chances we had to survive. oh our luck was so weak. our hopes were bare.

Yet you saved me from myself, even if you were dying.

I aM so dOne. So tiReD of bOys asPiriNg to be Men, gRabBing my fRaIl heArt and slOwlY teAriNg it apArt. So eXhauSted frOm fixiNg evEry one. PIckiNg up tHeir lOose scRews aNd wAisTing my haPpinEss trYing to fix thEm. My yoUng soUl has AgeD too fAst. My youNg sMile tuRned tirEd. My sickening desiRe to be yEt agAin intOxicated By loVe. I bEg for my sOul to be loSt in soMeoneS smoKe. I craVe for my mInd to be lOst in someoNes fingers. To have my hEart feEl the boTtom of a sHoe. Strange fEelingS tiCkle my coLD hearT.

All these cute ******* couples.
With their tumblr pictures and their radiating love.
All these ******* adorable young lovers with their innocent hearts,
Not even possibly being able to think about heart break.
Oh how they make my blood boil.
My taped up heart stands there, waiting to be torn down again,
While they kiss on camera.

My blood fizzles, My bones crack and My eyes ache for a lover.

My heart left empty, Lots of cute boys but none for me.

Those adorable ******* couples make me ache for a good heart break.

My heart is overflowing with abundant love,
Spilling like my useless tears.
All this love, trapped inside my heart
And no one to share it with.

I stare at this beautiful soul,
Hopping one day to fall as hard as he did,
To feel his heart beat in my bones
But that bubbly feeling I should get is just coal,
Coal that rots in the pit of my stomach.

But my lover prefers to stay hid,
Who knows when I'll fall again...

Who knows...