Honey,
I only chase dreams.
Not drinks and never people.

I wanted to send
an X,
equidistant
from four corners like

two swords
crossed, a stitch
on a blue screen

a multiplication
of nothing
no sweet thing flanking
its side's

just one X

loud

Do you see that homeless guy, right there?
Yeah, the one with untrimmed beard, empty stomach, and desperate eyes?
and do you see Ralph's, Pavillion's, or Trader Joes's
Stacked with Miles and Miles and Miles of food
Meat, Veggies, Canned, and Cooked
Shelves behind shelves, overload of trash of a day old food.

Can you tell me what's wrong with this picture?

I'm self conscious,
But then
Your eyes find me.
We stare,
Then look away.
But still,
The moment stays.

I didn't think it was this serious
because I know that you were happy.
When you said something
all I could do was call you and beg you to stop,
and in my head
I tried thinking of the last time I saw you,
the last time.
and I wanted to remember if you were smiling,
or laughing
or feeling any joy inside .
then I remembered that the last time I saw you
was not in weight training,
nor at my house
or in the halls
it was in a dream,
and that dream
might have been the only thing I have left
and it might be the closest
and farthest I will ever be from you,
but that dream was the last time I was with you
and the only thing you said to me in that dream was,
"I think I'm going to stay.....I'm gonna stay."

So that's how I know you're here,
and that's how why I know
you could be anywhere right now,
but wherever you are,
I know that you have a smirk on your face
and a hop in your step,
because you couldn't find that here.

You  keep following me like a shadow

And you bring with you all the things I want to forget

tears and screams,

sorrow and pain,

fear and desire.

Go away sorrow of my destiny.

Let me flee with the birds

Let me cultivate the flowers of my dream

Let me grow with the seeds of my greatnes

Let me be what I want to be.

Multiple personalities
were created by me
to compensate the absense of
those I needed
ones I desired
but
could not see.

I will not slam my gavel on the splinters buried in the back of your mind that drive you insane. Let me pluck them instead only to fill their empty graves with seeds that will grow their own food for thought. Let us spit our souls on our palms and be unafraid to shake hands. I want to become sick with your expansive mind so I may develop immunity to the wretched virus of the narrow majority.

And when you can’t handle any more shut doors locking in your face, grab onto the rope I drop by your side and I will pull you to a new hallway of opportunities. When your back is up against the wall, I’ll remind you to close your eyes and breath because the next time they open the wall will have sunk into the shadow that you yourself have laid on the ground.  

I can’t stand knowing. I have to walk it and exercise it, much like a muscle breaking its former self down only to rebuild itself stronger, and keep it moving because the place where my awareness lands will be the cage where it sleeps. So lend me some of your mental crack and lets find our own over this great wall of the unknown and see if we can’t break down the impossible together.

Walking through the busy streets of life
Living each and every day
Feeling caught under the knife
Acting, looking, feeling a certain way
You did your best you say?
Your tried as hard as you could
But you failed at the end of the day
As everybody knew you would
Lay your head to rest poor soul
Close your eyes tonight
Tommorrow you'll achieve your goal
Tommorrow you'll win the fight
Another day has come, you strive to do
All the things they are asking of you
Pushing, pushing just to get by
put your head down, acting so shy
This day is almost over
You will soon be in your bed
Your battle for the day will be won
And you shal be left alone in your head
How many days can you carry on
How many fake smiles can you produce
Before your souls completley gone
Your heart cannot take the abuse
Stand outside yourself
Look back at the world you've created
Please, put your pride on the shelf
You've become everything you hated
All hope is not lost poor soul
Tommorrow dawns a new day
Climb out of this hole
And live your life your own way

Wake up tommorrow poor soul,
Wake up and take control.