We are but a breath
in the lungs of the universe,
a beat in the heart of life,
a blink in the eyes of our ancestors,
a shooting star in the darkness of night.

You opened a door
I wanted to keep shut
and now the things
I feared behind it
run loose and wild
dark thoughts take hold
multiplying, spreading
a disease I cannot cure
This darkness engulfs me
and your hand is just
barely out of reach

They said my anger
was cold and distant
like a far reaching planet
I didn't understand
until I felt the heat
bubbling underneath
I felt it and I left it
and as time passed
the lava flow within
hardened into rock
cool, dark, volcanic rock
A permanent landmark
quietly intimidating
those who dare come close

On occasion you can find me
lost in lonesome corridors
cleaning bones out of closets
wandering down winding hallways
with faint and foggy memories lining their walls.
Amongst boarded up, locked doors,
few remain open, awaiting guests
in the dusty space I have yet revisit.
I wonder how I wound up in this haunted home...
My home in fact, though I often don't recognize it

do you know
that strange, inexplicable feeling?
the one where you did nothing wrong
yet you are filled with guilt?
or the one where you came back
after having the time of your life
and now everything feels
sad and lonely?
like our soul is trying to tell us something
that our logic hasn't quite figured out yet.
pay attention to that little feeling,
that little voice inside you,
that's always there but it never shouts
it is always soft and quiet, gently nudging
kindly reminding us of our untapped emotions,
if we learn to feel them deeply
we can begin to know ourselves.

Saying goodbye to Holly
the best neighbor two kids trying
to move up in the world could have.

goodbye to four years
in the same house I spent
so much time in as a kid,
learning what life is
and what mistakes are.

goodbye to a neighborhood
I watched turn fear into love,
even though I still had
to lock my doors at night.

goodbye to the apartment
I came home to after
a full day of classes,
a long shift at the bar,
a session in the painting studio.

goodbye to a house
that belonged in it's place
since it was built over a century ago.

goodbye to a home
the home that comforted me
as I faced the toughest part of growing up
the home that nearly drove us apart
but in reality it had kept us together.

a black hole has a gravitational pull
so strong, nothing can escape
the day your mother gave up on you
was the day half of your heart collapsed
sending yourself into a supernova
for a decade or so,
devouring everything in your path
destroying everything you couldn't have
becoming a stellar black hole yourself
and I was a light, a star to guide you home
the gravity that pulled me in
will now consume me
disappearing on the event horizon