I had poems
On the tip of my tongue
Then life
Piece by piece
Cut it off
And silenced me

My voice is
Frozen in the dark
Every day
Little by little
It'll get colder
Until it shatters me

My love was your IV bag
for replenishing your confidence
and reinforcing control

You mainlined my empathy
my desire for reciprocity
and established a satisfying home

My compassion became your approval
to erode my dignity
and self-worth

Every day was a web laced with gasoline
a smolder of desire
isolating any hope

My helplessness was your nourishment
a feast on my weakness
picking the bones of my soul

You stole every moment available
throwing tantrums of demands
always begging for a little more

My strength became your virus
and I allowed it to **** what grew
proving that I didn't need you at all

Things are not
As they seem
Nature is flowing
Everything is free
I am a vibration
The one you cant see
Not for what it is
Not as you believe

Created in barriers
Of a certain kind
Removing our thoughts
Speeds up the time
I am the light
The one leaving you blind
Instantly unaware
Then caught in a lie

There are no rules
That cannot be seen
Everything is nature
Every one is free
I am the truth
The one you can't be
Millions of years old
As the wind breathes

Into a trap
I fell
From myself
Lost
In the fade
Stuck
In the grey

Thoughts loom
Black
And white
Caught
In a haze
Stranded
In grey

Watching the
Color
Move around me
Hopeless
In a daze
Frozen
And grey

Dull and bright
So endlessly
Intertwined
Yet motionless
As I
Remain
Grey

Disaster strikes
And the storm rolls in
Harsh and fleeting
Thoughts move like wind
Beating and breaking
Myself from within
Flooding my lungs
No sight of the end

Waves keep crashing
Against my soul
I’m failing to breathe
In the wake of it all
Lightning strikes
There is no control
Shouting at the weather
Waiting for the calm

Feeling is
Misunderstanding
Who I am
Is not
Who I am
Peace is
The knowledge of
Nothing
We are here
But we
Don’t exist
Restless
For more
Yet become
Nothing

I don’t match
Myself or
My home
Of nothing
Traveling back
In time
In my own
Mind
I have to
Remember
Nothing
Betrayed by
Time
We must strive
To remember
To know
Nothing

My heart
Isn't swollen
With grief
Or gratitude
I simply exist
And move through
Space
In perfect contentment
With change
Simplification
And halted ambition
Yet, still
continuing on
A road of
Peace

My soul  
Housed in walls of
Love
Even through
Much chaos
I remain in
The balance
Putting out fires
Of disconnection
And clearing floods
Of negative rain, I
Tackle each wave
With awakened hope
To continue on
This path
Of beauty and
Light