My boyfriend that I'd dated on and off for nearly 3 years ended things a few days ago; it was a mutual decision, though he was the one to say it and for once, I didn't fight him on it. I just left and didn't look back.

I'm surprisingly not a mess. I am notorious for losing my cool when he's gone because he was my rock. He saved me when I was depressed and suicidal, he saved me when I was alone and unhappy. He showed me how to live again, and thanks to him I'm here and alive. He was my backbone for a long time and now that we aren't together I can form my own backbone.

The first few times we broke up, I was resentful, utterly upset and miserable. I loved him so much and was so scared to walk this world without him. But now I realize this is for the better; we don't need one another. We are okay without one another, better actually. Out relationship rested solely on that we loved each other. It was all we had to substantiate why we were together, and love can't be the only factor. I love him plenty but love is never all you need. You need so much more to make a relationship work, and we didn't have the resources within ourselves to do so.

And now that we aren't together, I realize this is my time to grow and be my own person, not just Xavier's girlfriend. He helped me stand up, supported me until I could do so on my own. I firmly believe people come into our lives for a purpose and leave when that purpose has been fulfilled. He fulfilled his purpose and left, and that's how it's supposed to be.

I just love who he was for me for the 5 years that we were friends, for the 3 that our whirlwind relationship lasted. He was my rock, and he taught me the importance of love and being there for someone. He's now teaching me that by not being here, and I think I love him all the more for it.

Doubtfully so, but if he ever reads this, thank you. I'm okay. Don't worry. I'm my own rock and I am genuinely, whole-heartedly happy. I'll always have a sliver of love for you in my heart and I'm eternally thankful for you. In a weird way, I would not be so okay if you hadn't taught me how to be so. It's almost like you knew this would happen and you prepared me well, well enough that I can move on and be happy without you. It's odd that you were the one to teach me that, but you did. I love you & I only cry now because I realize how great you were, and our relationship only makes me happy and thankful. I'm not sad you're gone, only a little. I'm not very sad at all really. I'm just thankful.

Every saturday, I see this boy at church, and I'm always a few seats behind him. Every time, I wish I could just put the moment into words, and now I finally have. Maybe it's the atmosphere, or his unawareness, or the fact that he doesn't know someone's admirably looking at him. It's the little things like how he's unaware of his perfection, and that's what makes him perfect. Humbleness is beautiful.