I’ve seen myself in the mirror.
it’s one thing to acknowledge your existence,
and another to question your place in the universe.

I sleep with the television turned on.
While I scream, it drones.
I don’t think I’ve watched a minute of it in the last three years though, I’m glued to my phone.
We’re glued to our phones.

I don’t yell much anymore.
Lack of living has beat the life out of me.
I’d worry about what any of this means, but being chemically inbalanced means I’m prospectively challenged.
So I don’t worry about it.

Maybe tomorrow will be different.

The humble apple
Is the fruit of fate
The reward for those
Who have rebelled
And for those who loved

Your love of knowledge
Is the requirement
Of my hatred
Of both you
And myself

If I was to bite into
An apple
Red, crisp, delicious
Would you believe
My love or my hate?

Regardless, I believe in my fate
Which is to somehow rise above
Petty things like the material
And to submerse myself in the immaterial
A platonic difference
I understand
Like I understand my dreams
Indistinct, wavering, but not forgotten

Therefore, I assert
That if any of us
Should take the forbidden fruit of Eden
It should be me
For my heart
Is fit to break
And my hatred
Is deep-seated

Eyes wide open,
Body shaking.
Another day, another fix
To hold this pain in.
A smile on the outside
But inside I’m still broken.
I wake up each night
Breathless, choking.

Heartbreak, misery.
It’s the only thing familiar to me.
Rainbows and sunshine?
Sounds like another one of your lies.
Numbing the pain
With a pop of a pill.
Someone ask me how I’m doing,
I’m dying to spill.

Stuck in a hole
That I dig deeper and deeper.
I’m not gonna last
Someone call the Grim Reaper.
Loved ones calling
Throwing down rope,
But I keep falling
Down this slippery *****.

Just one more
And I’m ready to go.
I don’t know what reality is
I’m losing my soul.
I’m in love with the pain,
It hurts so good.
Should I take one more?
Maybe I should...

Innocence?
You wouldn't know what it meant if you were drowning in it.

"What is friendship worth to you?"
"Everything", she lied

I should have known better than to let my walls weaken, crumble and gradually merge into the dust of my existence.

There are things you'll never know
Things I'll never tell you.

Conflict, avoided
Wound, inflicted

And now I'm bleeding on these white marble floors


Blood of loyalty
The colour of trust

You were sunshine
In your truest form
Or so I thought.

Garden trellises wrap themselves through the openings
Of my fenestrated illogical thoughts.
The shadowed and shadowy pasts of my past misery
Creeping slowly back up my throat to be lost

Promises were made, she says
Oh foolish student of mine!
Will you never begin to
Comprehend
The scarlet drops of your principles
So brutally hack-sawed
Just the beginning
Of your downward spiral.

Take up arms against your consciousness
Fight to be seen
Fight to be heard
Fight to show yourself that you actually do
Deserve
Contentment
Maybe…?